Dummy and nursery

[Rachel1210]

Hi all my LO is 20mo and uses a dummy. During lockdown we went cold turkey on the day time dummy - we had a few grizzly days but on the whole he handled it well. He still has it for nap and bedtime. He started back at nursery so I explained to them that he only has it for his nap. When I went to collect him I could see he had been crying. They said he had been asking for his dummy in the afternoon but they hadn’t given it to him. This weekend he has constantly asked for it and has thrown the worst tantrums I have ever seen. It was so heartbreaking because he was practically begging us. I feel so sad as when we took it off him before he did so so well. But I can’t face seeing him so upset - especially in nursery when we’re not there. I wonder if other children have them...he loves his dummy so I’m wondering whether to just crack and let him have it during the day again? I worry that he’s getting quite old now and that if we give it - it will be even harder to get it off him when he’s older. But equally I can’t stand seeing him so upset. Any advice or suggestions or word of encouragement?!

I have 16month old , and whilst my baby never took to a dummy , I have lots of friends whose babies of similar ages to yours who do use dummies still . I don't have much to suggest but couldn't help but comment to say that I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all and I don't think 20months is too old. You sound like you're doing an amazing job ! Maybe going back to nursery after being away is just a bit difficult at the moment and he is needing that emotional support whilst there . Maybe give it back to him whilst getting settled back in to routine , and then once settled perhaps see how things are and try again ? :) you're doing great !

My DS is 2.5 years old and is still very much attached to his dummy. We were quite strict around the end of last year and tried to cut down use to naps and bedtime only which worked well until he found all of our hiding places. We try as much as possible to limit use at home outside of nap times but he has increased in how whiny he is for it but I’ve put this down to teething. If he doesn’t have a dummy he has his fingers in his mouth to chew so I know what I would rather him have. We don’t allow him to have it out of the house in general and he has learnt to always leave it in his car seat.
Our nursery have changed rules due to Covid where they asked where possible dummies were removed but if needed for naps then they would only be provided for this purpose which we completely agreed with but once or twice on collection I’ve been told he’s had to have the dummy to calm him down which again I’m completely fine with.
It all depends how you feel about the situation, if it doesn’t bother you then maybe just try and carry on restricting it to nap times where possible but be flexible if they need it during the day/nursery. I know for me I’m more than happy for nursery to give him the dummy if it stopped him from being upset.