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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3.6yr ds weeing on sofa on purpose

13 replies

BernieBear · 24/09/2007 08:42

Have to be fast as in the middle of a crisis. My ds wee'd on the sofa on purpose yesterday. Needless to say I was bl@ody angry and said if he did it again I would take his race track away (which he got for doing poos in the toilet and not in pants) however this morning he has done it again. I have now taken race track away and put him in his room as too angry to cope with it.

Any ideas, expereicnes of similar or ideas as to why he is doing this??????

Please help - am losing my mind.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Kaloo20 · 24/09/2007 08:46

don't let them in the room where sofa is for weeks. Keep them in kitchen / bedroom until they can be trusted
or
how about put pull ups back on him and tell him children who wee on sofas need to wear pull ups
or
If they go to playgroup explain they can no longer go because they need to understand the right and wrong places to wee and they don't.

belgo · 24/09/2007 08:49

are you sure it's on purpose? If not, then it won't help getting angry with him, in fact that could make the situation worse.

If you are sure it's on purpose, then he's testing boudaries, and you need to be very consistent in the way you deal with this. It could simply be attention seeking behaviour. In some circumstances it's best to ignore undesirable behaviour and reward desirable behaviour.

BTW, this is why we've ordered a sofa that you can wipe clean

gess · 24/09/2007 08:53

Ds1 did a bit of weeing in front of me on purpose. He's severely autistic though and it was purely attention/reaction seeking. I looked bored with the whole thing and he stopped. He also did some weeing on purpose because he liked it- that was a lot harder to stop because the wasn't doing it to get any sort of reaction from me, he was just doing it because he wanted to.

Try and work out why he's doing it first as that should dictate your response.

LucyJones · 24/09/2007 08:55

blimey Kaloo that sounds a bit harsh

Original poster

BernieBear · 24/09/2007 09:16

Yes it was on purpose. He had his pyjamas on and they were dry!

Okay, if he does it again I will ignore it as have got cross twice now and if he does it again then cross doesn't work I suppose/

Have been working with HV re his poos, maybe it is the pressure of that! Although since the wee incident he has now proudly poo'd on the toilet.

God I really hate being a mother sometimes you have more ups and downs in a day than Eastenders.

OP posts:

gess · 24/09/2007 09:18

If you completely ignore (perhaps best to clean up when he's out of sight), then praise every time he does a wee on the toilet as well.

Kaloo20 · 24/09/2007 09:25

Not harsh at all. DS has done similar deliberately. I put him back in pull ups and explained he couldn't got to playgroup because he couldn't be trusted to use the toilet. One missed session and it never happened again.

witchandchips · 24/09/2007 09:27

is it practical to make him see the consequences of this. Not to invent delibrate punishments but simply do the. "I can't play with you or take you to the park because i need to clean the sofa otherwise it will smell"

rubyroo · 24/09/2007 09:42

hi bernie had exactly this until only a few weeks ago and in fact it reared its head yesterday again briefly!! ignore as much as you can and reward proper toilet behaviour. after several unsuccessful sticker charts we went for marbles in a jar. 1 marble for every poo/wee on the toilet every 10 special treat. every pair of wet/dirty pants or guerilla weeing as we like to call it!! 1 marble out. for the first few days i didn't think she would ever get to 10 but then the lure of treats was too much!!!!!! good luck!!!!!

bubblagirl · 24/09/2007 09:48

my ds went through stage of weeing on bedroom floor deliberatly and i told him firmly not to do it he went in time out then he was made to help me clean it although i had done it by then he didn't know this so he was rubbing with cloth then i told him to say sorry and he did

maybe if it causes a negative reaction maybe this is what he s after and if made to clean it each time he will soon tire of doing it i would hope

sit him straight on toilet when he has don eit and remind him he only wees in potty or toilet and will go in time out for weeing on sofa or anything else they always say time out should be anywhere other than bedroom as they have toys in there and its not such a punishment i sit my ds in hallway

bubblagirl · 24/09/2007 09:49

unless it is a genuine accident obviously no time out but if done deliberatly

Original poster

BernieBear · 24/09/2007 10:04

Thanks girls for your help. He was fine on he's wees, just the poos I was having probs with although we are about 50% of the way there now.

Just was so at this latest development. At least I now know that others have been through it.

Still feel like I am going out of my mind

OP posts:

belgo · 24/09/2007 11:42

lol at 'you have more ups and downs in a day than Eastenders.'

we get through it somehow

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