Why won't they listen!?

[Jess389]

I have two little boys VERY close in age and recently they have started ignoring anything I say to them.
When i ask them to do something they either ignore my existence entirely or they will stamp their feet and whinge about what I have asked them to do.
If they are sent to their room they stamp and scream until I go in.
If I ask them politely to be quiet and calm down it just adds fuel to their fire and it seems the only time they do listen is when I lose all patience and shout.
Which I hate.
Sometimes it makes me feel so angry that they simply do not care what I have to say and I know they are children but how to i communicate how disrespectful that is to a 3 & 4 year old.
Does anyone have any tips to get them even slightly onboard as I am so fed up of fighting them on the simplest of tasks?
TIA x

What sort of tasks are you asking them to do?

I know how you feel! If I had a pound for every time I said "listen" I could retire early! Blooming infuriating!

Counting to 3 helps (as much for my temper as for a warning), then the naughty step or no bedtime story or confiscation of a toy etc if I get to 3.

Try the book Talk So Little Kids Will Listen

Two good books:
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen.
3,2,1 Magic.

Also, limit your words. You may be talking too much, issuing long instructions or hiding your instructions in too many words. Ask them what you want in 3 or 4 words. Not hundreds.

Also, I use When and Then phraseology

When you've put your PJs on, then I will read you a story
When you've brushed your teeth, then I'll give you a piggy back ride to bed
When you have your shoes on, then we can get your scooter

you can also make it fun

Like, we used to put squares up paper up the hallway and make them jump between the papers (lily pads) so they'd go into their bedroom at the end of the hall.

Giant steps is a game we use: you walk with them on top of your feet and put on a 'giant's' voice. I use this to get them from A to B all the time, especially into bed.

oh god I wish I had little kids again, my older kids don't fall for any of these tricks any more