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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3rd year teacher ripping up my dd's school work.

92 replies

rainbow71 · 14/09/2007 12:45

Several parents at my daughters school have told me that my dd had her work ripped out of her book because she made a mistake in the lay-out requested by her teacher. My dd very upset as she worked hard on this. Having talked to her teacher I was told this was to improve standards and concentration my dd is 7 yrs old. Does anyone else feel this is harsh. My dd cried herself to sleep and does not want to go to school now as scared of making a mistake. This has happened twice now, 2 pages ripped up. .

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

flatmouse · 14/09/2007 12:47

That's more than harsh. It's unbelievable. I would have a real problem with this.

Theclosetpagan · 14/09/2007 12:48

I think this is utterly harsh. Had this done to me as a child and it stayed with me for a long time. It didn't improve my concentration either - just made me feel bad.
I think you have to ask this teacher to STOP doing this and tell her that your DD is crying herself to sleep. Is this teacher childless or just clueless about children's feelings?

Hulababy · 14/09/2007 12:48

Way too harsh and very unprofessional. Poor DD, no wonder she is so upset. I would not be happy. That is not how the teacher should be going about this. I would be livid infact!

I would have to go and spea to the teacher again to have this matter cleared up, and the head teacher too if necessary.

JodieG1 · 14/09/2007 12:48

I would go absolutely mental at that teacher, how dare she do that. It's abuse imo and does nothing for the childs self esteem.

bubblagirl · 14/09/2007 12:50

i think its disgusting how is that helping that it mentally affecting your child

i think you need to take the complaint to the head teacher and write to school board she is 7 and working very hard and will now be afraid whenever an assignment is set i would definatly see head teacher and threaten further action

parents are penalised if they treat there children like this as seen on pushy parents programmes of tearing work out of books its been classed as mental abuse so teachers should not be allowed to take such action i'd be really p**d off

clumsymum · 14/09/2007 12:52

Blimey, we have had to work to stop ds from ripping up his work if he has got it wrong, as part of controlling his anger, and perfectionist tendencies......

Is teacher angry cos she thinks dd doesn't listen.. or is it that dd doesn't understand the explanations?

It really isn't acceptable on the teacher's part. I'd be complaining to the Head.

ladymac · 14/09/2007 12:52

I work in year 3. IMO what this teacher has done is wrong.

You must take this further. If you feel you did not get a satisfactory response from the teacher then your next step is to go to the headteacher.

Original poster

rainbow71 · 14/09/2007 12:53

yes, I said to the teacher in question, I was suprised to find out that this had happened by parents I didn't know telling me because my dd thought that she must have done something really bad and so didn't want to tell us what had happened. still not happy with teachers explanation but told this is the way she has always taught and some over protective parents have been unhappy with it but most parents feel their children need a strict teacher to help their children progress.

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Hulababy · 14/09/2007 12:55

If the teacher won't accept it is wrong then go to the head teacher.

This is not the way the teacher should be dealing with things. It is going to completely destroy a child's self esteem. You are not being over protective - the teacher is trying to belittle you or patronise you by saying that.

The teacher sounds drwadfully unprofessioal from what you have wirtten.

Please ake this futher. I really feel for your little DD

clumsymum · 14/09/2007 12:56

Rainbow...

Not an acceptable response.

Strict is one thing, this is utterly OTT. I think you should talk to the head, along with any other parents who have this happening to their children.

nailpolish · 14/09/2007 12:56

she sounds angry - not good in a teacher
you should speak to the head
your poor dd - i hope she is ok

ladymac · 14/09/2007 12:57

Hang on a minute, she'll be rapping their knuckles with a ruler next.

stillsleeping · 14/09/2007 12:58

i agree it's definitely not on. more likely to damage a child's confidence than 'improve standards' imho. speaking as one who had her work publicly ripped up in front of the class at age 5, i have to stay it still hurts, silly as that may sound, and i'm now 26.

also seems to signify the teacher is not 100% in control of her actions and emotions.

ladymac · 14/09/2007 12:58

Hulababy is right. There is a difference between being strict and being nasty.

ladymac · 14/09/2007 12:59

Is she old? The teacher I mean.

lulumama · 14/09/2007 12:59

DH remembers a piece of work he had ripped up at the age of 6. it was a picture, and becasue he has shaded it, and made it very artistic, the teacher ripped it up and humiliated him for not doing it right..ie her way

30 years later he is stil angry, and basically it put him off trying at school, as his talent was not recognised

so that sort of behaviour from a teacher can have devastating and far reaching consequences

ruling by fear is awful

phdlife · 14/09/2007 13:00

Sounds like what she meant was, "I have intimidated other parents into accepting my ways!"

I'd want my dc moved to another class, if it was me. 7 years old, ffs! Complain, complain!

Original poster

rainbow71 · 14/09/2007 13:03

I did say to the teacher this morning that I felt ripping up childrens work is more likely to destroy their confidence and self esteem then improve their work, building up confidence improved work not knocking it. She was adament that this was agreed by all of the teachers from year 3 upwards and they all did it to improve work standards. Still very upset as my dd said she had to cry quietly as she didn't want the other children see her cry (this broke my heart). Her teacher said that she didn't see her cry and would of explained to her again why she had done it if she had realised how upset she was.

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Original poster

rainbow71 · 14/09/2007 13:04

ladymac - she's probably late 30's early 40's so not old no.

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Hulababy · 14/09/2007 13:05

Still not good enough for me. I would still be seeing the head teacher especially if she says all the Y3 and upwards teachers work in this way. That is not the type of education I would want for my child and would be making sure they knew it.

ladymac · 14/09/2007 13:06

I can tell you this is certainly not the policy in my school. Children's work is never ever ripped up.

You must go and discuss this with the head. Phone now and make an appt. Or go in at end of day.

NKF · 14/09/2007 13:08

Really bad strategy. Mistakes are normal and part of how people - including children - learn. Unkind as well.

JodieG1 · 14/09/2007 13:09

Please don't let this go and don't let her intimidate you into accepting this as it's not normal or acceptable. Makes me sick the way some people treat children. I'm far too volatile in situations like this and would really bollock the teacher, if she dared ever to do it again to my child she would be very sorry. I wouldn't want her teaching my child anymore either.

JodieG1 · 14/09/2007 13:10

oh and make sure your dd knows that what the teacher did was wrong and to come and tell you in future. If she knows she wasn't to blame or at fault she may feel a bit better.

Aitch · 14/09/2007 13:11

the teachers had a meeting and agreed? jesus, is it primary school or the lord of the flies? i would be Going Nuts if that was my child, oh dear. i remember beign humiliated by a teacher when i was 10, he scribbled over something i did, and i hate him to this day. Mr O'Malley, for the record. an absolute prick of a man.

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