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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Tentative question about leaving a baby for a moment

22 replies

LaBoheme · 12/09/2007 18:11

LO is 9 months and FULL ON - very active, crawling, standing trying to walk, goes straight for the most dangerous thing in the room, needs 24/7 contact and entertainment..you get the idea. She does have two hour long naps one in morning one in afternoon.
Well at various points during the day I just need to chill and have found that putting her in the play pen with some music calms her down a little bit. If I am in the room she tries to climb out so I go next door for a while- about 10 mins-. Be honest is this OK to do? - can you tell me if you do anything similar or any tips on how to chill a very active baby out...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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filthymindedbolshevixen · 12/09/2007 18:14

When you say next door, I'm guessing room next door.
if she's safely in the playpen and can't grab at irons/kettles/a drawer full of kitchen knives/cauldrons of boiling oil/tanks full of scorpions etc, this is fine and normal imho.

10 mins chill makes you a better mum!

moondog · 12/09/2007 18:15

God yes.
I did that.
Kept me sane.
Hurrah for play pens!

mazzystar · 12/09/2007 18:16

i'd make it fiftenn if she'll stand for it

and when i was in your position with ds we used to go out a lot

moopymoo · 12/09/2007 18:18

yep ditto ditto def. a good idea to help keep sane.

MrsScavoEatsJelly · 12/09/2007 18:18

Enjoy it before she learns to climb out!

pregnabrain · 12/09/2007 18:34

Why would there be anything wrong with doing it? Unless she's screaming her head off, of course.

I used to do that all the time. If she's safe and contented, then why worry?

I still do a more grown-up version of it now. I leave dd in her room (with stairgate closed to stop her getting out) when I want to have a shower (or just a breather). I suppose there is a slight element of risk, but she's not the kamikaze type, so I can't imagine her doing anything REALLY dangerous. Room is childproof etc.

You've got me feeling paranoid now!

juuule · 12/09/2007 18:50

I would keep out of her line of sight but stay where I could see her. Would also be listening. Silences worry me Most times you can judge whether they are okay from listening. I couldn't just put her in and completely leave her for any length of time.

pregnabrain · 12/09/2007 18:54

ha ha totally agree about the silence thing. I always think it means she's either in trouble or causing trouble! Last time she managed to rip her fave Noddy book to shreds.

Original poster

LaBoheme · 12/09/2007 18:56

yes I mean in the next room and yes she is out of reach of all danger...
thanks for your replies re. feeling paranoid this is just it - I feel after I do it - is this OK? but I truly feel I would be in a heap if I couldn't just get 10 mins of a sit down even if I am looking out of the window. She is not the kind of baby you can plonk down and she will contain her play to a few toys in front of her - she sees every room as her exploration playground and it is her mission to discover every inch of it LOL. It is v hard at times....

OP posts:

filthymindedbolshevixen · 12/09/2007 21:14

oh I've been so been there. My ds2 insisted on being held upright every single moment of his waking life for the frst 6 months. Then when he was mobile, if I put him in a play pen or travel cot for 10 minutes he would howl and bawl and run his enamel mug along the prison bars so to speak.
And would not give up. . .
We spent a lot of time out and about too

cat64 · 12/09/2007 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheMadHouse · 12/09/2007 21:28

Oh I do the next room thing too, but with the staor gates as mine are a bit older. I just need 15 mins peace to eat my breatfast or actualy drink a hot cup of tea.

I often find that out of sight, out of mind works well with my two

Rhubarb · 12/09/2007 21:34

Yeah.

Surely you don't take her when you go for a dump do you? 10 mins won't do her any harm. Wait till you have more, you'll be sticking them in front of CBeebies for a couple of hours whilst you blissfully surf Mumsnet and all those ideas of stimulating them and banning tv will be but a distant memory....

bookthief · 12/09/2007 21:41

Oh god yes! I've designated most of our flat as a "playpen" (tis very, very small and has been childproofed by dint of ds identifying and making a bee-line for all dangerous/breakable/precious objects) and will happily take a breather while ds bangs the cupboard door in the hall. When the noise stops I know to run fast.

If he starts laughing maniacally then I know he's spotted the cat and I run faster.

pinkspottywellies · 12/09/2007 21:44

lol bookthief!

margosbeenplayingwithmynoonoo · 12/09/2007 21:46

You say it so eloquently Rhubarb!

Your dd will be okay, have a cup of tea in the other room and call it your me-time.

nurseyemma · 12/09/2007 21:47

Makes me think of getting a playpen myself too! There's a school of thought that disagrees with this stuff, I don't subscribe to it, learning to play imaginatively and independently is an important part of a babes development, stimulates prob solving, creativity etc. and makes them into more autonomous little beings.

IMO constant non stop adult attention is overstimulating and detrimental to their fledgeling cognitive skills. My dd won't really do stuff alone if she can see me or dh so we leave her in SAFE places alone sometimes checking discreetly, she's a happy little lady finding out about stuff.

I'd say 20 mins ok at this age, can do longer as they get older!

moondog · 13/09/2007 00:17

I know a couple who used the playpen for them to have a read of wthe weekend paprs in peace.

Agree re importance of letting children entertain themselves sometimes. In my job as a salt am constantly debunking myth/assumption that children need adult attention/stimulation every waking minute.

orangehead · 13/09/2007 00:24

my hv actually recommended this she said much better to have chilled mum then a stressed one feeling like she about to crack. i think it was the best advice ever

madamez · 13/09/2007 00:24

Playpens are fine. Playpens in front of CBeebies are good if you really want a breather.
Basically, a kid in a playpen is safe from harm and may well enjoy having time to process whatever he/she has experienced in the last half hour - or to bash Teddy with a plastic cup 125 times to see what happens. My DS had a playpen from being very small because when he was a baby I had a shop to run and used to have him in his playpen in the shop . Gave up on the thing last summer when he was nearly 2 as he was nearly tall enough to climb out - but at least he's in the habit of amusing himself for an hour or so every afternoon now.

Original poster

LaBoheme · 13/09/2007 08:48

thanks guys, feel better about it now. It's the only way I think she will learn to play sitting down instead of hurling herself around ther room lol

OP posts:

minouminou · 13/09/2007 10:29

By 9 months or so, she probably really enjoys a few minutes to herself - my son (11 months) has a playpen crammed with soft blocks and his giant aardvark, as well as some all-singing-all-dancing interactive buggy board thingie strapped to the bars - he's happy in it for anything up to half an hour
often, he goes over to it and puts his hand through the bars to get at the toys in there.
the other thing is that the dog feels more confident hanging out with him if he's behind bars, so they spend many a happy few mins looking at each other and interacting.
i get the feeling it's HIS space, if you get what i mean.
he has a wendy house in his bedroom, and he loves barreling in there and throwing himself around onto the cushions and sheepskins on the floor
make the playpen fun (i'm sure you already have), put her in there for fun, and enjoy the peace!

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