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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Dummy - help my baby wont sleep without it now!!!!

24 replies

Snoots · 12/09/2007 13:34

My seven month old has a dummy - I hate it but I caved in to pressure from DH and my mum because he seemed to need it to get to sleep. He used to be able to lie in his cot and fall off to sleep happily but now wont and screams until the dummy goes in. Its fine during the day but at night when it falls out or when he rolls over he screams and can't get back to sleep without it. Cue up 2, 3, 4, 5 times a night. I am knackered! I have tried today to get rid of the dummy by swaddling him and giving him a blanky but has been screaming for over 40 mins. I cant cope - it breaks my heart and i feel mean for not giving in and giving the dummy. Most of my friends think I am mad and making a mountain out of a molehill and that I should give him the dummy and not worry. I would but I feel that I am training him to sleep with a dummy in his mouth and when it is missing, he can't sleep. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

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ImBarryScott · 12/09/2007 13:45

No answers, I'm afraid , but sympathy. We're in exactly the same boat with 6 month DD. Hugs to you, and I'll be watching this thread like a hawk .

flowerybeanbag · 12/09/2007 13:53

[worried]

DS is 4 months and has a dummy. He can sometimes send himself to sleep without it, and we don't let him sleep with it in, take it out as soon as he's asleep and that works.

Now worried that we'll have a struggle getting rid of it altogether though..

You could try doing that, taking it out gently as soon as he is properly asleep (sometimes you have to stand there for a bit) and then stroking his head while you take it out and immediately afterwards if he begins to stir. That usually makes sure DS stays asleep. Stroking his eyebrow works as well.

Peachy · 12/09/2007 13:54

Um, wasn't there some research recently (may be wrong) that suggested a dummy at night is a protection against SIDs? Sure there was something

flowerybeanbag · 12/09/2007 13:54

[even more worried]

Meeely2 · 12/09/2007 13:55

my twins had dummies til they were just over 2.

Theres no right or wrong way, just the way YOU want to do things. If you really object to the dummy, stick to your guns and he will get the idea eventually. If him loosing it in the night is an issue, try leaving him for longer periods of time before you go in to replace the dummy. Once mine were sleeping through we didnt have to go in very often in the night to replace them and as they got older, they would find their own dummies and replace them themselves.

Its such a personal choice but i don't feel mine have come to any harm having them as long as they did - i am relieved I don't have 3 year old toddlers with dummies though.....

divastrop · 12/09/2007 13:55

no advice here either,just wondering what the problem is with him having a dummy?my youngest 3 have all had dummies.im stopping 21 month old having hers during the day now but my others had dummies at night untill about 2/2.5.

my 6 month old dd doesnt wake when hers falls out though,and if she does she just puts it back in.could he be screaming for any other reason such as teething?

Peachy · 12/09/2007 13:56

yep knew I didn't imagine it

Comina E, Marion K, Renaud FN, Dore J, Bergeron E, Freney J.
Pacifiers: A microbial reservoir.
Nurs Health Sci. 2006 Dec; 8(4):216-23.

The permanent contact between the nipple part of pacifiers and the oral microflora offers ideal conditions for the development of biofilms. This study assessed the microbial contamination on the surface of 25 used pacifier nipples provided by day-care centers. Nine were made of silicone and 16 were made of latex. The biofilm was quantified using direct staining and microscopic observations followed by scraping and microorganism counting. The presence of a biofilm was confirmed on 80% of the pacifier nipples studied. This biofilm was mature for 36% of them. Latex pacifier nipples were more contaminated than silicone ones. The two main genera isolated were Staphylococcus and Candida. Our results confirm that nipples can be seen as potential reservoirs of infections. However, pacifiers do have some advantages; in particular, the potential protection they afford against sudden infant death syndrome. Strict rules of hygiene and an efficient antibiofilm cleaning protocol should be established to answer the worries of parents concerning the safety of pacifiers.

divastrop · 12/09/2007 13:58

peachy-yes i heard that as well.

i found mine gave up their dummies of their own accord when they started nursery/playgroup.

flowerybeanbag · 12/09/2007 13:58

Good lord Peachy! Biofilm! Blimey!

Now I don't know whether to leave it in for him.

ImBarryScott · 12/09/2007 14:09

Flowery - I wouldn't worry if I were you. AFAIK, some babies don't like dummy, some can take or leave, some quite like them, and some, like my DD, are well and blardy truly addicted.

DD was addicted by 4 months - I'm sure you'd know by now if you had a problem.

Diva and Meely - I have NO issues with DD having a dummy. I think if DCs can get comfort from one it's great. I do have a problem with it falling out of her mouth 10 times a night, and her being unable to get to sleep without it . Very different thing!

stressteddy · 12/09/2007 14:17

Hellooo there. I have no issues with a dummy per se. My ds got attached to his and on top of him being a VERY bad sleeper we then had to go in to him aout 5 times a night to put the bloody thing back in again. We got rid of it when he was about 8 months old. Just remember, if you do take it away to do it quick like a plaster. Throw them all away and never look back. My ds hardly noticed anything missing (bloomin' typical after all those trips in the night!!!)
Good luck whatever you decide to do

Juliasparties · 12/09/2007 14:33

Dont panic! My son had his "dodo's" untill he was two and a half - after two sleepless nights he sleeps soundly with out it. However my eight year old daughter who has sucked her thumb, is still sucking. We are now facing lots of Orthodontic treatment. I wish I'd given her a dummy. Dont sit on the fence, either go with it and spend a couple of days pulling your hair out, pour your self a stiff gin and hang on in there, or let him have the dummy and deal with it latter on when you feel you have the strength to cope with it.

NewMum24Gem · 12/09/2007 14:37

Hi. My son is 6months old. He uses his dummy for naps and sleeping at night and when he gets stressed out i give it to him. Ive noticed when it fals out if he wants it he searches for it and picks it up. Yours might do so eventually.
I get a lot of stick from my family about him having a dummy but im with him all day and believe me its the only way to get 5 mins peace sometimes! lol

Meeely2 · 12/09/2007 14:39

Barry - what type of dummy does your lo have? this may seem like a weird question, but i tried the orthodontic ones to start with (thinking that if we were gonna give in to them at least they should have the 'right' ones), but they couldn't keep them in their mouths.....they had the old fashioned cherry ones for ages and i'm pretty sure they didn;t loose them in the night......

however i have a vague memory of listening to my dh on the baby monitor threatening to "selotape the damn thing to your head in a minute"......i didn't let on when he came downstairs!

bubblagirl · 12/09/2007 14:49

my ds is 2.4 ans still has dummy at night it is said that it does help prevent sids as they tend to breathe differently with dummy in its fine if he only has it to settle

ImBarryScott · 12/09/2007 14:57

LOL at your DH's monitor threats, Meely!

We've already moved onto the cherry teat ones after finding the orthodontic ones sliding out all over the place. Poor DD still can't seem to hang on though! I will do cold turkey.......soon .

imagineafullnightsleep · 12/09/2007 15:16

My DS is one today (I can hardly believe the time flying - but that'll have to be a whole new thread!) and he loves his dummy. He tends to go through phases with it - he doesn't really have it all day - but does look for it when either he's really shattered, or teething. I had the same problem as you about 5 months ago - and it is a nightmare. We decided to not give him the dummy during the day, and the first day he went without it, he didn't even look for it at bed time. Not sure if we were lucky, or if by not giving it to him all day, he'd forgotten. Like I said, he still loves the dummy, and we still use it, but he isn't relying on it to go to sleep anymore (although, that said, if he wakes in the middle of the night - I rely on it more than he does !!)

Original poster

Snoots · 16/09/2007 16:00

Thanks everyone - I am now a few days into the tunnel of no dummy and it is going better than it was the other day. First day, screaming and crying (and that was just me!!). Next day, I had to hold him and he fell asleep in my arms. I was thinking am I now just a human dummy!?? The next day I laid him down and he fell asleep without any problems. Had I cracked it? No - not quite. Today and yesterday have been bad, up two / three times last night and today I have had to hold him while he calmed down.

Sticking with it!!!!!!! There has to be light soon. He is teething too so it is doubly hard. I feel mean for not giving a dummy but I want him to be able to fall asleep himself without any props!

OP posts:

Original poster

Snoots · 16/09/2007 20:45

He's fallen asleep tonight without any fight - all smiles and swaddling!!! I have swaddled him on top of his sleeping bag as he always wriggles out and gets cold in the night. I don't think he really likes the grobag as much as my other wee boy - funny how you always expect them to be the same and they arent!!!

OP posts:

ImBarryScott · 16/09/2007 20:50

Stick at it Snoots! We've been dummy-free since Friday bedtime and it's hard.
Decided to go cold turkey with bells on, ditching the swaddle and dummy at once (figured it'll probably be twice as stressful but for half as long [hopeful emoticon]).
We're using the dreaded controlled crying, and the longest spells were 30mins at bedtime on day one, and 1hr at 4am on the first night. Since then the crying spells have reduce to around 10 mins, and DD even slept 7.45pm-7.15am last night.
The crying is killing me but I think I had to do it.

Wishing you lots and lots of luck!

ps - have you chucked the dummies out yet? I am hoarding them just in case things get truly unbearable.

DoubleBluff · 16/09/2007 20:59

I did cotemplate sellotaping DS's dummy in place once, as I had the same problem!
I just perservered with the dummy until he slept so well he didn't wake up for it IFYSWIM.

Original poster

Snoots · 21/09/2007 14:13

I've cracked...........

OP posts:

Original poster

Snoots · 21/09/2007 14:14

After much bullying from DH - the dummy has gone back in. I feel like I have totally failed my little boy. I don't know what to do. He is still waking up every night at about 3am. Help !!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

seeker · 21/09/2007 14:20

If it's just at bedtime ,then why not just let them keep their dummies? Anything for peace in my opinion!

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