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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

People think my baby is 4 months old.....

22 replies

mm22bys · 14/08/2007 16:33

and he's actually almost 9.

OK so he's small, and he is not doing much.

But why do perfect strangers think it's ok to actually SAY how old they think he is?

I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but it does - I find it so upsetting and demoralising!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LIZS · 14/08/2007 16:37

dd was running around Toys r Us at aged 1 - she looked abotu 6 months old ! Frankly most lay people would n't be able to guage a child between 4 and 9 months anyway unless it was obvious behaviourally at the time.

fawkeoff · 14/08/2007 16:37

awww dont be upset about....ur just being protective of him,which is normal....babies develop differantly so dont listen to them(like its anything to do with them anyway)

Nemo2007 · 14/08/2007 16:38

I wouldnt worry I get the same with DD2 she is 7.5mths and I often get shocked looks and ohh she only looks 3/4mths. Its funny to go where nobody knows you and put her down and off she crawls and pulls up etc..pmsl

I am not bothered as I had the opposite with DS who was 9lb1 when born and always tall and thin. He is now 3.10yrs and people often think he is 5 or 6!!

DD1 is the only average sized one!

FioFio · 14/08/2007 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SleeplessInTheStaceym11House · 14/08/2007 16:43

dotn worry, my dd was the same, only people also used to ask if she was a girl/boy, when she was all dressed in pink

ib · 14/08/2007 16:51

When ds was 4 months old people used to think he was only a few days old....dh still gets defensive when anyone comments about his size.

daisythedog · 14/08/2007 16:52

I suggest next time this happen you guess aloud how old the stranger is, and make sure you over-estimate for good measure. That might teach them to keep their traps shut.

Original poster

mm22bys · 14/08/2007 16:56

Glad I'm not the only one!

I just smile sweetly and say "about that"!

Actually it happened to DS1 the other day too, he's three, and we went into a children's furniture shop, and the guy who runs it thought he was only 2! (He wasn't even nice about so he lost our business there...).

DH is very defensive about it too, especially when we take DS1 to the park - he's got very blond hair so from a distance it looks like he doesn't have any, and lots of parents tell their children "to be careful of the baby".

He is completely normal, and last time he was weighed he was 50% - some people just have no idea!

OP posts:

tortoiseSHELL · 14/08/2007 16:58

Everyone thinks ds2 (15 months) is about 8 months as he is tiny and not walking. They also think dd (4.0) is 5 and ds1(6) is 4 or 5. Don't worry about it!

Flibbertyjibbet · 14/08/2007 17:09

My two boys are so big they always looked a lot older than their actual age. Very upsetting when people say 'oh why isn't he doing xyz yet?' as if they are backward.
Or the stupid old hag who shouted at me in a crowded park to let a screaming ds1 get out of his buggy and walk - when he was 7m old and hadn't mastered crawling yet!
I envy people like you who have teeny ones, I never had one of those... not even when they were new!

Christie · 14/08/2007 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aloha · 14/08/2007 17:16

My ds is very nearly six, and everyone, even other children, assume he is barely four. Actually I do worry about it a bit.

hertsnessex · 14/08/2007 17:17

i get the opposite too. "oooohhhh, is he really only 2....blah blah". f*ck off you old hag!
cx

aloha · 14/08/2007 17:18

In some ways it helps as he has Aspergers and people accept odd behaviour better from boys who are short, blond and chubby, I think. I think if he was tall and slim and looked six, he would face more criticism/surprise for his inability to climb, jump, kick etc and his slightly odd mannerisms and tendency to burst into tears! People think we have a much smaller gap than 3 and a half years between our children, and it feels like a much smaller gap too.

RubyRioja · 14/08/2007 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FloriaTosca · 14/08/2007 17:28

I took my (at the time) 20 month old nephew to the park last year and no less than 4 people came up and commented on how straight he held himself on the swing! So he's small and blonde..so what! He's still small at 3 and still isn't talking much but he can run as fast as kids twice his age and has a deadly accuracy with a well kicked football!

beautifulgirls · 14/08/2007 20:22

People think my DD#1 is 4-5yrs from her height - she is just about to turn 3. She is also speech delayed too, so when people start to talk to her they think I have a totally backward child. I hate it. We are doing our best for her to help her, but people making assumptions is really very cruel. My other DD is 16 months and also tall, and people think she is 2, but at least she is ahead developmentally so I feel a lot more comfortable with that one.

macmama73 · 14/08/2007 20:59

I think the problem is that people are so shite at guessing how old DCs are.

I was asked if DD was walking when she was just short of her first birthday. When I said that she wasn't the neighbour remarked that it was about time, and I should get DD seen to by the dr.

Just ignore them and try not to get upset at well meaning comments.

boo64 · 14/08/2007 21:12

Totally agree with Macmama....that is the crux of it and when they are touching a raw nerve about something that concerns you it isn't nice even if they mean well!

Here's an example of how shite people are at this .....at a 2 yr olds party on Saturday another mum I didn't know said to her 2.0 son about mine 'ooh be careful of the baby' and then when we told her his age (2.1ish) she went all quiet - her son was quite a lot bigger than ours.

Then about 3 mins later someone else said in response to how old ds is, oh I thought he was quite a lot older than that....

But generally people think tiddly ds is younger and it really gets my goat when people in the playground say to their only slightly older kid 'ooh mind the baby' or similar as he is not a baby.

Looking on the bright side, I sneak my ds in to places where there is a charge for over 2 year olds (e.g. our local soft play) and they haven't yet even questioned me as to whether he is under or over two and long may it last!

My parents did this sort of thing for years with me and when I was old enough to understand I hated it so much as I just wanted to yell 'but I am 5' or whatever age they'd have to pay for.

really awful though when there is a height restriction for a fair ground ride and they can't go on as they are too short but other kids their age can!

wolveschick · 14/08/2007 21:17

Am experiencing this with my sister and her 9 weeks prem baby, now 19 weeks but still tiny. I love the way having a baby means all and sundry in the supermarket can feel free to say whatever they like and they will always find something to comment on!. have friend with twin boys-asked 'aren't you disappointed not to have had one of each?', and the ubiquitous 'double trouble' comment was made hundreds of times. Both my DDS were both referred to as boys despite pink blanket and clothing. FIL commented on births of both my DDS 'better luck next time' and whilst pregnant 'make sure it's a boy'. Very blatantly hoping for girls and this just re-enforced it!. DD1 did not walk until 16 months and took her one night to emergency GP clinic who said 'not walking at 16 months, why this is extremely serious, take her to a doctor immediately etc etc . (I didn't) What I am trying to say now I have had a rant is everyone comments on something, albeit hair, sex, height, weight, development. Ignore it.

berolina · 14/08/2007 21:25

dh, when he was about 9, was standing at a tram stop when someone asked him 'Aren't you little XXXXX from kindergarten?'

ds is small too - he is 2.3 and probably looks somewhere between 1 and 1 1/2 - but behaves like a 2.3yo. I don't really mind people thinking he's younger.

berolina · 14/08/2007 21:28

Oh, another dh anecdote: at my graduation - he wa 25, IIRC - he was looking for the loos and a well-meaning security person asked him whether he'd lost his parents in the crowd Poor dh. He wears his lack of height and (apparent) age incredibly well, though.

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