Can your three year old.....?

[aloha]

Take off their clothes and/or put them on? ie Put on their own shoes? Put on a coat? Pull their trousers down? Ride a scooter? Catch a ball? Brush their teeth? Climb into their own car seat? Get onto the toilet? Make a sandcastle? Use a knife and fork? Walk upstairs like we do (ie not on all fours or by literally hauling himself up one step at a time by pulling on the bannister) and come downstairs facing forwards without holding on.
I ask because ds, who was three last week, cannot do any of the above. The idiot HV seems to think this is perfectly normal, but from the three year olds I see, I don't think it is. I'm honestly not just asking for people to post with equally incompetent just-threes, but wondered what the consensus was.
As for toilet-training, don't go there! I don't think he has any idea he is going to wee at all.

Sorry Aloha dd was 2 last Monday and she can do all of that except for ride a scooter, or go to the toilet (or potty for that matter).

Ds on the other hand was about a year behind her (he's 4.5 now) something to do with the male race expecting us to do everything for them , I think!!

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When I was applying for DLA for ds1 I started a thread asking if the average 3yr-old could dress/undress themselves. IIRC the general consensus was that yes they could but generally had trouble with buttons, zips etc.

My dd is 2 yrs 9 months and can:

• put on shoes if velcro, not buckles
• put on a coat
• pull trousers down
• brush teeth
• get onto the toilet using a stool
• make sandcastle
• use a knive and fork
• take her clothes off
• climb into car seat

she can't:

• ride a scooter
• catch a ball
• do the stairs very well at all
• jump (you didn't mention this but all her peers can and she can't at all)

Give or take the odd thing, she seems on a par with her peer group but they are mostly girls, if that makes a difference HTH

Ds (3 on Nov 10th)

1. Take off clothes - v loose fitting ones
2. Put on clothes - no (and my 4 yr old dd can only put on a few)
3. Put on a coat - no
4. Pull trousers down - tracksuit pants, yes but only recently (and not jeans) - this only comes with toilet training from my experience
5. Ride a scooter - a 3 wheeled one, yes but not very well
6. Catch a ball - no unless you throw it gently at his hands (and you position his hands!)
7. Brush teeth - no
8. Climb into car seat - he gets into the car but needs help to get into right position in his seat
9. Get onto toilet - not at all
10. Use a knife and fork - no and nor can dd(4)
11. Walk upstairs and downstairs - yes but he holds on both ways
12. Toilet training - he's there but will only poo in the potty but I'm not concerned about it.

No, beleive me we've tried it, with immense stress and absolutely no success. He can wee in the potty but only if he happens to be sitting on it at a time when he happens to be weeing. He honestly seems to have zero control. We went to the beach a few weeks ago and he came and sat on my lap in his little shorts and weed on me without even noticing. Lovely! Stripped off, he will just wee and poo on the floor. I was feeling tearful over the whole potty-training business so have decided to pack it in.

Oh yes, forgot jumping. He can't jump AT ALL. doesn't come off the ground.

At three ds could undress but not dress; not put on shoes; put on a coat; could pull trousers down; could not ride a scooter; could catch a ball; could not brush teeth; could climb into own car seat with a bit of a boost, but not climb out; could get on to toilet; did not make sandcastles unassisted; could use a knife and fork; was still doing one step at a time up stairs, and holding on, but COULD come down without holding on.
Ds was only just dry at three and was not showing any signs of readiness until practically the day of his birthday. Then he mastered the basics in days.
He was less physically confident and competent than most three year olds we knew and I did worry about it sometimes. He got there with his late milestones in the end and the HVs weren't bothered either. HTH.

my ds2 is just 3 and is desperately independent - if he dresses himself it's hit and miss - pants go on with his waist through a leghole etc. He can put on shoes with velcro fastening, but sometimes on the wrong feet.

He can pull his pants and trousers up and down and has been potty trained since he was 2 yr 4 mths.

He can use a fork but is erratic with a knife.

I don't think he can catch a ball, definitely can't ride a scooter as we don't have one.

Climbing is his speciality however - into his car seat, onto window-sills, up my body if I'm sitting on the floor, you name it he'll have a go at it.

Don't children develop differnet skills at different rates? Does your ds draw or talk well? Mine's still a scribbler and his talking has improved a lot recently, but is no-way as advanced as my ds1's was at the same age.

DD ((not 3 yet - she's almost 2.5yo - but a may give some help maybe?)

1. Take off clothes - trousers, pants, socks, looser fitting tops only

2. Put on clothes - loose fitting pants and trousers (pull up only, no buttons/zips); cardis and jackets. Not over head tops.

3. Put on a coat - if loose fitting; can't fasten

4. Ride a scooter - she can't do the pedals on anythhing yet - legs don't seem quite long/strong enough.

5. Catch a ball - not a chance, although she does have a mean throw on her!

6. Brush teeth - not so they'd been done properly. I always brush first and then she finishes off.

7. Climb into car seat - she can climb in and out of her seat, but can't do any of the fasteners - and TBh I don't want her responsible for that any time anyway

8. Get onto toilet - not onto a big toilet, no. Not even tall enough with a step. She uses the little nursery toilets on her own though.

9. Use a knife and fork - she uses a fork and spoon, but I don't give her a knife at all yet. She still prefers to use her fingers if she can get away with it though.

10. Walk upstairs and downstairs - yes but she always holds on to a bannister or my hand. Steep stairs we encourage her to try and go down backwards as safer.

11. Make a sandcastle - no idea but I doubt it

12. Toilet training - day time training yes; night time not even trying for a while yet

13. takes off shoes - with velcro only; can't do laces

DD2 is about to turn 2.5.

Take off their clothes and/or put them on? ie Put on their own shoes? She can out her velcroed sandals on and has started trying to do own dressing.

Put on a coat? What's that then?

Pull their trousers down? Yes

Ride a scooter? No

Catch a ball? No

Brush their teeth? Yes, but I have to help her.

Climb into their own car seat? Yes

Get onto the toilet? No

Make a sandcastle? Kind of

Use a knife and fork? A fork and spoon. (Do you really give your 3 year old a knife?)

Walk upstairs like we do (ie not on all fours or by literally hauling himself up one step at a time by pulling on the bannister) and come downstairs facing forwards without holding on. Yes

Jump? Yes

DD1 had developmental delays, she just turned 5 and really has only recently started doing all these.

I probably would be a bit concerned if I was you. How were his milestones like walking? DD1 was behing in everything so it was caught early. Keep a close eye on him, and if he doesn't start doing all thses things pretty soon I would ask to be referred to a specialist.

I'm trying Kate! My HV visit today just gave me a headache as she spend ages on irrelevant stuff and then said he seemed normal....but she didn't see him on the stairs, or test any physical skills. I am booking to see the GP and really want a referral to someone who knows a bit more.
I do have a really cute 'Little Prince" baby knife and fork set, but to be honest he really struggles with a spoon.
Milestones? He never crawled/bum shuffled etc, started to walk at about 14months.
Some other things:
He can't roll - ie down a hill for fun
He can't really kick - just dribbles the ball really.
He can, however, count to ten in French and knows quite a few words in French. Said "Merci! Au revoir!" to the silly HV.

Out of interest, how many of these things do you let him try to do? I only ask because I know DS2 did them earlier than DS1 simply by virtue of being a second born child and having an elder sibling to watch - it meant he wanted to try these things so we let him. He has had to climb into his own car seat simply because I suffer from back problems. Every child is different but you know your chld best.

I BEG him to Soupy! Bit concerned as pg and would love him to be a bit less Marie Antoinette-ish about moving about/dressing etc.
I do realise I don't have the biggest problem in the world here, but if he's behind he will notice eventually.

BTW does everyone else's three year old walk with you? I mean at roughly a normal walking pace? Because ds doesn't. He goes so slowly!

D.S will be three in January

1. Take off clothes - trousers, pants, socks at a push...can't take off tops though

2. Put on clothes - If I do the first bit (ie put pants and trousers on but he can pull them up. Same with tops..sort of half and half with me helping.

3. Put on a coat - No. can take off but not put on

4. Ride a scooter - do you mean a peddle trike? He can't do that at all..refuses to peddle which concerns me as most other boys his age love this on trikes

5. Catch a ball - Nope..not unless his arms are held in front and the ball lands in arms and not in hands!

6. Brush teeth - he chews on it and sucks the toothpaste off!

7. Climb into car seat - yes. started to do this because I am pregnant. can also get onto his booster seat which is quite scary to watch

8. Get onto toilet - yes with step

9. Use a knife and fork - fork and spoon..not knife

10. Walk upstairs and downstairs - yes..walks up but coming down sometimes bumps sometimes walks (depending if he has a car in his hand!)

11. Make a sandcastle - no idea!

12. Toilet training - day time training yes..done over the summer; night time ..no way!

13. takes off shoes - with velcro

He crawled at 10 1/2 months and walked at 15 1/2 months so quite late with those things.

can take off and put on trousers, tops, shoes (not got the hang of coats or socks

cant use a knife and fork very well, but feeds self well

cant ride a bike, cant reach the pedals!

walks up and down stairs

is potty trained but uses a pot not a toilet

he can draw great gran in sand but has no interest in castles

catching a ball is hit and miss, maybe try a beachball to start with? or a balloon?

does brush his teeth but has been more interested since he got an electric one

Aloha if you are worried see your GP if you dont trust the health visitor and trust your instinct. mind you if i am honest I know lots of 3 yr olds who are the same as your ds, they are not as good with their gross motor skils

HTH have a feeling it wont

aloha
my ds is 3.3 he can

pull trousers down to go to toilet and get on toilet himself has been doing this for some time

undress from waist down socks undies trousers loose t shirts pj's etc

he can catch and kick a ball and also hit a soft ball with a bat

ride a scooter yes

use a fork and spoon not tried a knife yet!

make a sandcastle nearly fill the bucket but struggles turning upside down

can go up a downstairs one step at a time facing the right way and does try not to use the bannister.

he can climb into own carseat

cant quite manage the coat yet puts on back to front

brushes his teeth but i have to re do them but i think thats something they only do properly at around 14 when they start noticing girls!! (i am a dental health educator and believe me thats true)

cannot put own shoes on but can put wellies on although sometimes on wrong feet.

all children develop at different rates only last year i was very concerend about ds speach but it seemed all of a sudden he could argue with me.

it does seem though that he shouls maybe be able to do some of these things have you tried asking for a second opinion?

aloha as for the slow walking, its their perogative I'm afraid!

DD is nearly 3 and a half

1. Take off clothes - trousers, knickers, socks, can't do tops at all

2. Put on clothes - knickers, trousers, jackets. Can't put tops on or do buttons.

3. Put on a coat - yes but can't fasten

4. Ride a scooter - yes.

5. Catch a ball - no, she can catch a balloon though

6. Brush teeth - no but likes to try.

7. Climb into car seat - she can climb in and out of her seat, and undoes her own buckle (but only once we've stopped)

8. Get onto toilet - yes, with a step. Small nursery loos ok.

9. Use a knife and fork - she uses a fork and spoon, just starting to try to use a knife. Still uses her fingers a lot.

10. Walk upstairs and downstairs - yes but prefers to come down on her bottom.

11. Make a sandcastle - no but likes to try

12. Toilet training - wees yes, poos no, night time not a hope!

13. takes off shoes - only velcro ones, not buckles or laces.

DS2 (3.5) either runs or goes sloooooooooowly, Aloha.

I know what you mean about begging children to do stuff though. It's difficult to judge whether they're just being stubborn or if they genuinely can't manage it. Does he go to a nursery? If so, do they have any concerns about his development?

If you are concerned then that's all that matters really.

To clarify: Scooter - no pedals, just a push along Thomas the Tank Engine scooter.

my just 3 year old dd2 has been able to do all those things for at least 6 months. (but she does walk rather slowly)

but there's such a variation in normal behaviour I think your HV may be right your ds is not unusual, especially for boys who can be slower on motor skills, and he could be doing all those things within the next few months.
actually he sounds like my brother at 3, he is still physically clumsy as an adult, though academically successful!

I can't remember exact ages, but mine were both much slower to learn to use a scooter than tricycles. I'd be amazed if a child who couldn't jump was able to ride a scooter well to be honest; you need a lot of strength in the leg on the scooter and good balance.

No nursery yet - did go, hated it, thinking about it again.