2 1/2 year old biting kicking etc

[ksmum]

My daughter is usually really well behaved but she is very determined and if she is thwarted toomuch in what she is doing , or sometimes just because she is generalyl grumpy she sometimes hits me or kicks out. This morning she hit me and when I told her off she said ' oh i'll go on the step then' and strolled off happily. Then when I got her back off it she bit me, so she went back on it (with no effect) and I went to dress her. I didn't speak to her while I was dressing her as I was v cross and wanted her to know but all the time she was trying to kick me. I also gave her a 'look' and she jsut stared back at me hard as anything.

I don't know what to do: clearly the step is not bothering her any more (we hardly ever use it actually, maybe once every 2 weeks or so). My CM suggested that i bite her or kick her back. Not an option as far as I am concerned.

What else can I do?

I do think it is partly because she didb't want to go to CM. We have had a lot of mini breaks recently and have been pciking her up early etc and I think it has disturbed her routine. But I need her to know she can't hit me etc.

She doesn't seem at all scared of me when I do speak sternly to her or even shout (rare).

at CM was she joking? If not it may be that CM is not dealing with her very well when she behaves like this in her care

My ds is same age and really prefers to be home rather than at nursery. Think there is two things going on. 1) ther're getting more independent so seperation anxiety is rearing its head again -remember the first time? 2) Their concentration span is increasing and they really want to potter and do their own thing. Structured child care is temporarily losing its appeal. The older children in ds room have been through this and come out the other side though so it is just a stage and not just becuase her routine is being disturbed. IMO mini breaks actually help

I think you need to walk away when hit and say "mummys sad cos you hurt her". Then give her a chance to kiss you better and then make friends again

No CM wasn't joking. But I know dd doesn't behave like this with her or really with anybody other than me and occasionally my husband. I know CM wouldn't do this herself either. She said 'entirely up to you whether you ake my adivce but just do it once and they'll get the message'. Can you imagine kicking a 2 year old though. Incredible.

Think you are right, only thing is she doesn't seem all that bothered by me going away. Maybe it is specifically the step. I could try just leaving room myself as you suggest. I'll give it a go.

I agree mini breaks are good in general. She was great all the time on them. But we have been away last 3 weekends Friday to Sunday and I think whilst it has been good in one way she has had a lot of time away from CM she also seems to be surprised when she has to go.

When I picked her up yesterday she said 'i love you Mummy you came back'.

Message withdrawn

Actually when she was little (16 months or so) she went through a biting phase. And thats what i did then. I sort of thought naughty step was a version of that but maybe something more direct is whats needed.

Maybe you SHOULD bite her back - just the once. At this age, children can't understand how it feels to be somebody else. They don't understand how their actions can make someone else feel pain. If you bit her back, then she would know how it 'feels' and could then relate the pain to how other people feel when she does it to them. My son only ever bit me once,and I bit him straight back. He must have been about 2.5 and he NEVER bit again. It sounds cruel I know, and I would never kick a child, but as long as you don't bite her too hard, it may just work!