Toddler violent behaviour since sister born.. any ideas?

[NattyThomasandEllen]

My daughter Ellen was born end of may and until last week my Son thomas (15 months) was fine with her... but now all of a sudden he is hitting me and biting me if i go anywhere near ellen.
also having major tantrums over everything, refusing food, wont walk but wont go in buggy, and wanting hugging all the time.

should i be disciplining him for the bad behaviour? at the moment im just trying to be understanding because he is so young, but where do i draw the line and start punishing him for these outbursts? am i renforcing the behaviour by trying to clam him down?

anyone with a small age gap (mines 13months) got any coping statergies or methods for controlling his temper (or at least keeping the frequency down!!)

cheers guys

N&T&E

A 15 month old is not capable of bad behaviour and will not respond to discipline. He simply won't understand. You'll stress him and you'll stress yourself.

He's desperately jealous. He needs love, love and more love. It won't last forever, but honestly: no discipline. There's absolutely no point. His brain just isn't wired to understand it yet.

I forgot to add .

It must be tough for you.

Lots of love and cuddles.
He is jealous .

aww thats what i thought.. just having one of those many doubting moments when i think "am i doing the right thing?"

Not only is he jealous, he's insecure.

He needs you to spend at least some time with him on his own, and he needs lots of love and cuddles to reassure him that he's still your baby too.

No advice NT&E but bumping for your sanity

Hi!
Our gap is 14months and tbh Ds1 was fine until just recently when ds2 began crawling.

I have had all the biting and slapping and scratching but that has tailed off now and he is diverting it towards ds2. he pinches him rather than all the things he did to me though.

I have told him from the beginning it is naughty and he knows it is because if i leave the room and spy on him, he checks i am gone before he does it.
when he gets very excited if they are playing together he does it without checking. he just looks as if he is about to explode with excitement and trembles as he does it.

we too have had an increase in tantrums and he has gone back to his bottle which is normal behaviour.
older siblings will try to 'replace' the baby as a way to get shot of it! lol
in the early days i wore ds2 all the time in a wrap so he was either sleeping or feeding, both of which he could do in the wrap. i think ds1 thought he was back in my belly so was not bothered. he would only winge and tantrum when i took ds2 out of the wrap to cool down or change his nappy.
as ds2 got heavier, i wore him less and less so he was introduced more slowly iyswim?

all i can do now is tell him its naughty and not nice and where i can, give him my attention first. luckily ds2 is very placid and seems fine with this set up.

im not sure any of this ramble will help though as ds1 is 2 and ds2 is 10months and as i said, this problem is only occuring now and ds1 is able to understand more.

it will pass btw. once dc2 realises the baby is here to stay and can be a lot of fun, it will calm down.
at the mo, you just need eyes in the back of your head, two sets of arms and the patience of a saint!

Good luck!

Xx

thank you LOTF.. thats helps
and thank you bumper!