4 year old behaviour

[Mammy7]

I have a only child 4 year old boy. He spends through the week with me and most weekends visiting his dad and grandma. His behaviour is becoming terrible very demanding the way he speaks to me the words he uses. He doesn’t swear but says things like “do it right now” “I want it now” “I don’t love you” “I don’t want to live with you” etc can think of anymore on the spot. He says all these things when he doesn’t get his own way with me. Is it normal for a 4 year old? Is it coming from his dads house? It sounds awful but it’s making me feel very distant from him. Opinions please!

That sounds hard, does it happen more when he has spent time with his dad?

That’s what I’m trying to figure out he goes to his dads either a Friday Saturday or Sunday so at least one day over the weekend his dad still lives with his mam so the only thing I can think of is that they let him get away with murder and not tell him off when he is stroppy so he thinks he can be stroppy with me it because I’m on my own I’m struggling with it it’s making me feel like crap, what do I do? Do I approach them to speak to them about it or...I’m just at my wits end because when we are out in public it’s embarrassing.

@Mammy7 is it possible to ask his dad whether your son plays up with him or would that be awkward?

It's quite a difficult age as your son is still a little young to fully understand consequences.... Will he be starting school in September?

Can you explain to your son that as long as he is nice, you two can have fun together, but when he is rude it upsets you and you don't want to play anymore.

I won’t approach his dad as we aren’t on good terms so that is in the back of my head as well, I have said to my son things like Santa watches to see who is good, it upsets mammy when you say these things but like you said it’s hard for them to understand..I just don’t know what to do or say or to who lol! I just think these summer holidays are going to be long if he’s behaving in such a way

You need to perfect the face.

Boy:"Do it now!"
You : stop what you're doing. Put anything in your hand down. Look at him with the look.

He knows how to talk politely as you and pre-school/nursery will have taught him how to talk nicely,

Boy: "Can you do it now please?"

"I don't love you" "I don't want to live with you" is a classic 4 year old to try and hurt someone's feelings. He will have heard and probably said stuff like "I don't want to be your friend" at nursery/pre-school.

“I don’t love you” (and later "I hate you") and “I don’t want to live with you” are completely normal. At that age they have very little ways to express and deal with anger and frustration - this is one of them.
I'd either ignore it or - even better - say something like "Well, I'm sorry to hear that, because I love you/am glad you live with me."

The other things: That's very disrespectful and I wouldn't accept it. But especially "Do it right now" sounds like he's copying someone. Ae you sure you never talk to him like that? Often us parents only realise how rude we can be towards our children, when they start to talk that way.