Please help me with my 4 year old - he cut the cat's whiskers off this morning

[EscapeFrom]

This is an ongoing saga... every morning he gets into the kitchen by takinfg the chain off the latch, and does something.

Last week, he took raw sausages and ate them, dropped raw eggs on the living room floor, got my sharp knife from the back of the surface and cut large wedges of cheese off the block, went into the bathroom and made papier mache tissue sculptures in the bath...

I tell him off - he apologises, can't give a reason for why he does this, and promptly does it again.

I leave food out for him, temptingly in front of the computer - he either eats it and goes on the mooch, or ignores it and goes on the mooch.

I lock the kitchen door with a chain - he stands on chairs, toys, piles of cushions...

I tell him he must wake me up, and if he does he can have choc spread on tost for breakfast - didn't work.

I provide a big pit of mud and stuff at the top of the garden - he loves it, but it hasn't slowed him down.

I have tried setting my alarm for six, he started getting up even earlier, was exhausted and horrible for a week.

he consistantly ignores the things I ask him not to do, like 'Don't bring mables downstairs. Any marbles I find downstairs go in the bin. You can play with them in your bedroom.' - He now has no marbles left. Again.

What am I doing wrong here? There is a planet chart in WHSmiths that he covets - I have told him if he stays out of the ki6tchen for 7 mornings (and he has an extremely GOOD grasp of numbers!) I will buy it for him - he only managed 1!

Help meeee!

anything from the insomniacs and furruners?

My nephew done this when he was about 8. He wanted to see if the cat walked sideways after being told about balance. My sis went mental as she is a bit mad about animals, has far too many and prefers them to people.

He also loves animals.

I was right then?

It seems - but I reserve judgement until next week, to see if he managers to stay out of the kitchen!

Escapefrom - have you got my GS's secret twin there?
He's about the same age, (school in Sept).We had exactly the same problems and tried everything that everyone on here has mentioned. Its just a case of waiting it out. If yourDS is anything like GS, he does understand the consequence thing, but it goes right out of his head when he's doing something he's enjoying. We were regularly fishing full loo rolls out of the overflowing toilet, Our poor cat (and the dog) still has his whiskers, but has been covered in cif, bleach, flyspray, oil, paint eggs, embossing powder (14 tubs - not cheap), etc etc. He's also been wire wooled. Its cost us an absolute fortune in vets bills and the poor cat and dog's coats are almost fully recovered. All these have also been applied and rubbed into the carpets - one is now beyond repair. He's bypassed all the back door locks and freed the rabbit on numerous occasions. he's broken the blackout blind in his room, the kitchen blind and the living room curtain pole. Star charts worked for three stars.
With ours it was just a case of waiting it out.
He now seems to have stopped with most of the destructive stuff but still does some things, this morning I got up and he'd climbed onto the top of a 7 foot high cupboard to get the key, unlocked it and removed all my craft punches, we now have some lovely hears shapes in the kitchen blind. Fortunately, I think he's growing out of it and its now only happening about once a month or so, instead of on a daily basis.
We never hear him get up, he's done some of these things in the middle of the night and then gone back to bed until the morning.
The only explanation that anyone can come up with is that he's very inquisitive and needs constant stimulation - not good when you're dealing with the aftermath. I guess all I want to say is hang in there. He's not being deliberately naughty, just fascinated by things that he's not allowed to touch or do unless you're there.

and its not about the 'mystery fo the kitchen' either, at least not for GS. He regulary bakes and helps with food preparation, cooking and laying the table, etc.
Its not all destructive either, The other morning he woke us at 5.30 sat on his bed strumming his guitar and singing at the top of his voice. We could not shut him up and by 6.30 I was ready to take him to sit outside Tesco, to see if he could earn some money (it does often have its funny sied).

All doors, except the bathroom (for obvious reasons) and his room have now got bolts at the top (not that they stop him if he really wants to get in anywhere) And we sleep with all the keys to various cupboards, doors rabbit hutch etc.

Well I'm very pleased he enjoyed making cakes and cooking sausages, though pleased for you and him - not the voice of triumph you understand Far too early to know if this is the answer but at least you both had a nice time together

@Joash
sorry, but I am ROFL at your posts. He sounds like a real handful!

I agree that these boys sound like they are intelligent and inquisitive. One time I was complaining to a friend about what my DD was always getting up to (thought, it all seems quite tame compared to some of Joash and Escapes stories). My friend, a retired teacher, said that children who do things like that are nosy, and that is often a sign of intelligence. They want to know how things work, take them to bits, examine them.

My DD was at her worst just before she started Kindergarten, btw. I think that she needed the extra stimulation that she gets there. So maybe he will get better after he starts school. [fingers crossed emoticon]

Is he easily bribed with things? Could you put something small that he covets under your pillow so that when he wakes up comes straight into your bedroom every morning? Maybe if you did it for a few days you could help him earn his stickers with lots of praise for coming into you and not into the kitchen and maybe get it to sink in/break the habit.

Could you lure him in on the first day by leaving a trail of paper arrows on the floor from his bed to yours? For my DD I would probably also have to leave a smartie on each sheet just to be sure she'd follow the trail

I've taken the pain out of DDs bedtime by periodically hiding a sparkly Mr Men book under her pillow (those pixies!!). Has worked a treat.

Ooh that's a good idea.

Got up this morning to discover my camera case - with no camera. Asked GS to bring me my camera, which he did rather sheepishly, whilst saying "it rattles, new batteries dont fit" On checking the battery compartment, I found that he had removed the batteries and replaced them with ones that are too small. So, I fitted the correct batteries after his explanation that he used up all the others taking nice pictures. The sudden appearance of 144 pics on an otherwise empty memory disc, got me intrigued, so I transfered them all onto the pc. We have 144 pics of various parts of the cat and dogs anatomy (with close ups of eyes, ears, the dogs large black patch on her back). Pics also include each of GS's paintings/pictures that adorn the Kitchen cupboards, the ceiling light, the patch on the ceiling where the bath leaked and we never got around to painting over it, the underside of the kitchen table, GS's feet from a number of different angles, a pic of his pyjama leg with something on it that I thought was a flaw on the pic (until GS explained that it was, in fact a bogey!! he had picked his nose and wiped it on his trousers because he wanted to see what one looked like on camera), he had repeatedly altered the camera settnigs to take pics in sepia, red and monochrome. We have a self-portrait he took of himself giving the dog a hug and grinning manically at the camera and whilst the cat looks perturbed throughout most of his photo session, for the last 15 or so shots, the dog obviously decided to go with the flow and is portrayed in numerous poses (on her back with legs in air, sat begging, playing dead, curled into a ball, standing up, etc,etc). Dh and I spent about 20 minutes trying to compose ourselves after i suggested that the bloody dog must have gotten into the photo session with GS clicking away andsaying things like "Thats it baby, puot, show me some more fur, work it baby work it."

oh and I am soooo going to save all the pics to show any prospectivepartners that he brings home in adulthood - i will have me revenge one way or another

and by the way - the camera is stored in a LOCKED filing cabinet - he had picked the lock with a paperclip ...WTF (he's 4!!)

joash, I'm in tears with laughing so much at your gs's photo session

Budding photographer methinks. How funny

mmmm yes that thought had crossed my mind

Oh Joash that is SO FUNNY!

And would you like to know why it is so funny?

because its NOT MY CAMARA!

seriously, that is hilarious and you must have those photographs developed/

Not sure I can add much to the good advice you have had, but I recently read Toxic CHildhood after reading about it on MN and the author suggests a few useful things.

Among them are limiting TV viewing and also giving children supplements of fish oils, which have been proven to help improve behaviour. (DS1 has far fewer/less severe tantrums since we started giving him more oily fish and fish oil supplements).

Its a really useful book anbd I'd def recommend it. Hope things improve and that the cat is ok.

LOL Joasch!!! He sounds just lovely!

How's it all going escapefrom?

Planet chart has been achieved! He has been gloating over it since yesterday - and I am happy for him to do that

I latched the door so tight he COULDn't undo it, and told him three days of not going in the kitchen and I would buy it - so I did.

But have also warned him if he starts again I will take it down and into the cupboard of confiscation it goes....

Well I'm glad he's got his planet chart. I think you're being very fair indeed. Hope you're getting a bit more sleep too (speaking as the mum of a 3 yr old who thinks sleep is for the weak).