12 weeks old and can't settle to sleep on his own

[Jen1978]

My DS is 12 weeks old and we have just moved him into a cot bed in his own room (up until now he has been in a moses basket in our room). He has always slept on his side due to reflux when he was tiny, but now that he is bigger he rolls over onto his back (in spite of a towel behind him) and his wakes him up. He then starts thrashing around until he eventually wakes up and starts to cry. I get up and turn him back on his side and he goes back to sleep. But I am getting up every 45 minutes from 1am onwards and I cannot go on like this any more.

I need some advice on how to get him to get himself back off to sleep (we have always put him down asleep). Is he too little doe do a modified version of controlled crying? Should I leave him to cry for a few mins then go and re-settle him? Really desparate to do something to resolve this problem

There is a modified form of cc called controlled comforting where you swaddle the baby, place them in the cot on their side, facing away from you so you have no eye contact, and pat their back to comfort them. If they are very distressed after 15 minutes, you pick them up, calm them down and start again. I believe this method can be used from birth and I used it with ds from about 8 weeks on. I then used it in the night to settle him as well.

I wasn't very rigourous about it, so it took about a month, but the first week when I was being very disciplined about it, he pretty much got there and then we went on holiday which messed it up.

In any event, swaddling might help as it makes them feel snug and prevents the startle reflex.

Have you tried putting a folded up towel under the end of the cot matress so even if he is on his back, his head is raised.

No we havn't be that is a good idea

Just spent 30 minutes sitting next to him in his cot and he has gone off to sleep. He seems to startle really easily when on his back and this wakes him up.

I would really recommend swaddling if you're not already doing it - it definitely helped ds.

We have been swaddling him since birth but this no longer works as the thrashes around so much now the swaddling comes undone and doesn't work anymore! It was great while is worked though and i'm sure it really helped especially when he was so tiny. He is in a grobag now and seems better now hes not as restricted. He doesn't startle when he is on his side, but then startles when he rolls on his back - we can't win!

I used to sit with my hand covering (but not touching) my ds's eyes so he wasnt distracted by things in the room but could still see me or my dh. Worked for a bit.

Wish it would work now - he's whinging in his cotbed because he fell asleep in the car on the way home earlier and doesnt want to go to sleep now.

Jen - i'm not an expert on this but my ds (6.6mo) has never really been able to settle himself to sleep. he still doesn't. i wouldn't leave a little baby like this to cry for as long as 15 minutes, i'm told it can be very harmful to such a small baby.

can i ask why you've moved him into his own room? he may just be a bit lonely! our lo is still in our room, mainly because there's no way i'm going to go into a seperate room to settle him when he isn't sleeping through!

12 weeks is very young to settle himself imo, although we had limited success with a dummy at that age (ds now refuses it, but it was great while it lasted!!)

Read "The Baby Whisperer" or visit website, it solved all my probs at that age

Have just read thread .Mumpbump talks about BW method. Also you can buy those foam wedge things from Jo Jo, wouldn't they help?