Does anyone else have (older) kids who just can’t cope with late nights?

[Gardenersnaptime]

Last week my son (7) had a few nights where he didn’t go to bed until around 9 o clock due to various activities.
He doesn’t sleep in (or can’t due to having to get up for school) and consequently was in bits after a few days-bursting into tears, answering back

My 12 y/o is similar (just the time is later).

All we can do is enforce bed times a little earlier, no phones etc, for a few days after the event

SOrry, posted too soon and lost half the thread-
His friends don’t seem to have an issue and I feel like he misses out on activities he’d enjoy but it’s just not worth it.
Sometimes i wonder if I’m making excuses for him and he should be able to behave even if he’s tired-maybe I need some advice on how to help him regulate his behaviour?

Clearly he enjoys (or needs) his sleep more than the late evening activities, even if his friends can cope with it, not everyone is the same. Maybe he is just doing too much, if he is tired the next day and bursting into tears then I would have thought that those were clear enough signs that (for now) these late evening activities are clearly not for him - you could try again in a years time or so.

How early does he have to get up? If his normal sleep is 8 til 8, then that puts him above the normal range of needs, even if it's 8 until 7, then it's still right at the upper end. Of course some kids do need to be at the top of the ranges, and some kids may need more - just as some may need less.

It is certainly going to be difficult if his friends are all in the lower ranges, especially as he gets older and normal activities finishes are designed for 9pm bed times at the earliest.

However, I would check that he's actually getting good sleep quality when he's in bed - perhaps the quality is really low and that's why he currently requires more.

Like with most things improving fitness, can improve sleep quality and reduce needs, but really there's little knowledge of what causes the variation in peoples needs or what (if anything) you can do it. It might be, that you just have to give the evening activities a miss, and early bed times.

He’s usually up by 7. Sometimes earlier at the weekend-he’s definitely a morning person!
It’s not that I’m forcing him through late activities-they just seem to be edging later and by the time he’s had a quick shower and story it’s late.
I was hoping he’d get used to it but it seems to build up over a few days

Maybe get him into activities that happen in the morning instead. Eg a hiking club or sports on a Saturday morning. I remember having to go to softball at 7.30 Saturday morning, mum loved that, not!