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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Diastrous bedtime with toddler

18 replies

jamjarparmar · 19/07/2007 22:48

Hello. Am recovering after a horrible bedtime with my 2.5yr old dd. usually she is ok (ish) and drops off after bath and story about 8.30. Tonight I left the room (hungry - am 6months prg with next!) at 9pm, as soon as I stepped out she started crying. there was NO reason! left her for 10 mins and went back. in and out continued with her crying then me shouting/ trying to soothe. (Daft combination ). she finally conked out at 9.40pm. That is TOO late! she has nursery next day, I have work. . Please what is the magic answer. Do I need to take patience tablets?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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shhhh · 19/07/2007 22:54

Is 8.30 maybe no a little late for her to go to bed..? DD is 2.2 years and has always gone to bed at 7pm (unless out or its a one off etc). It may be that your dd is getting over tired so is causing all this extra fuss..?

Touch wood I have never had bed time worries with dd so can't help there im sorry but it may be worth bringing her sleep time earlier..? May also then allow you peace and quiet sooner..Sympathies as well for being pregnant ith a lo. DD was 12months when I fell pregnant with ds and ds is now aged 5 months. Its hard work BUT oh so worthwhile..(most of the time anyway )

TrinityRhino · 19/07/2007 22:57

dd2 who is 2.3 goes to bed at 7pm
if she gets very tired or goes much later than 7 (and 8.30 would be late enough) then she is a nightmare to get down
she cries, tantrums, wants a million things, doesn't want things etc etc

maybe try shifting her bedtime or accept it as a one off (if it is) and open a large bottle of vino

Original poster

jamjarparmar · 19/07/2007 23:00

I think you're right, 8.30 is pretty late but it usually goes: home 6pm/ foodage/ 7pm up to bath/ stories begin 7.15, then lights out around 7.30/8pm. BUT she never properly settles or sleeps until 8.30. I think it could be because she is still wired from nursery and takes a while to chill out. How can I squash all required things (eat/ wash/ story) seeing as we aren't home till 6?

OP posts:

TrinityRhino · 19/07/2007 23:01

hmmm tircky
I have trouble squashin it all in for my 3 and we get home at 3

sorry no help at all

Original poster

jamjarparmar · 19/07/2007 23:04

3 and you get home at 3?! cor that would give me time to make a lasagne. or some such compllicated time consuming dish instead of Shreddies. Ho hum. Thing is she goes to bed really nicely with dh when he is the one to do it!
Shhh I respect your energy what with having two. Maybe I can get the bath down to twice a week.. After all what's wrong with wet wipes..

OP posts:

frapachino · 19/07/2007 23:06

I have a 23 month year old that I try to bed by 8pm but he screams in tantrum every night until about 10pm sometimes as late as 11pm, he then wakes anytime from 5.30am (sometimes once in between) and screams again till he comes to our bed where it is all smiles and giggles. He often refuses to nap in the day but can sleep 1 -2 hrs late afternoon if we are lucky.
Sorry no help but your doing a lot better than me

Desiderata · 19/07/2007 23:07

Yes, jamjar. Why the daily bath? Totally unnecessary and time-wasting.

Give yourself a break, girl! They don't need a bath every day. One a week is fine.

Fannyflaps · 19/07/2007 23:09

Is there any way you can get her fed before you get her home? 6 does seem really quite late. You could then start the bedtime routine at 6 and FWIW I have just cut down my DSs bathtimes from every night to twice a week - every other night is a quick wipe round the salient bits with a flannel.

Fannyflaps · 19/07/2007 23:10

sorry - posting under joke name from earlier

lilolilmanchester · 19/07/2007 23:16

We bathed ours every night - not from a cleanliness point of view (a flannel or wet wipe would do the job) but more to relax the and as part of the routine. My money would be on overtiredness. Can you not make food in advance, which you just need to heat up for her when you get home?That would cut down the hour you currently have for foodage? When she cries, you really just need to ignore her and if you go in, lie her down matter-of-factly without eye contact or saying a word. And maybe leave for longer than 10 mins? I know it's horrid to hear them cry, but they do it cos they reckon you'll give in eventually.

mistlethrush · 19/07/2007 23:18

I work, and I also get ds home from nursery around 6 - sometimes a bit earlier, sometimes a bit later.

He has 3 meals at nursery plus two snacks, and has already had the first part of breakfast at home before he goes. However, when he gets home he also has a meal - usually something that we've prepared previously and is in teh fridge or freezer and can be microwaved (sorry, but better than processed) - he often eats first course downstairs, then 2nd course (yoghurt and fruit or fruit pot) upstairs while sitting on potty prior to bath - bath is often run at the same time. Then its teeth, storyx2 and song.

This means that, despite similar time home, we get him to bed sometime between 7.14 - 7.45 (depending upon the number of times he demands his potty after his bath).

Its the combining of potty and at least part of his meal (if its really late, it could be all of his meal, with pudding served in the bath) that means that we get him chilled out and into bed at a slightly early time probably.

Good luck

shhhh · 19/07/2007 23:27

Thanks tr . Must say, many people do comment on me but suppose im ott with routine etc..

How about skipping the bath like others have said (tbh it makes no difference with dd, bath or no bath..it doesn't calm her down etc). What I do with dd is to allow her to shower with me on some morning as it saves time. DS is bathed every other night so she baths with him and the other days she showers with me or dh at weekends....just a suggestion to save time.

BUT like others have said,it does seem like she is over tired. Sometimes dd goes down at 7pm and is asleep within seconds others she goes down and is still awake and hour later....The times she is awake I just leave her to chat as tbh its never anything more than that. The days she is over tired and goes late she can be a nightmare, wanting anything and everything etc...
She is a really good sleeper though and atm will sleep through till 8/9am. ALTHOUGH as you can see from other threads we have problems with tantrums atm..Can't win them all I suppose...ho hum. .!

lilolilmanchester · 19/07/2007 23:28

mistlethrush, why are you apologising for reheating home-made food?! Mad woman! Sounds like you have it all sorted.
Scrambled egg was a weekly after nursery supper for ours. Sounds like a good "food" thread topic!

shhhh · 19/07/2007 23:30

just read your post mt..lol at pudding on the potty or in the bath .!!! Serving champagne and peeled grapes to him next .!!!

Malfoynomore · 19/07/2007 23:36

Hmmmm....she has a really long day, but she also doesn't really see you much in the day when you work...so, obviously she does need the time in the evening to spend with you....could she not have a nap aqt Nursery?
Saying that, at 2 1/2 they sometimes really can go that long....and you say it's not really a problem generally...could it be that she just had one of those days..agterall, it's gotten pretty hot at the moment, compared to the weather the previous weeks...so, that could have had an impact on her....
also, don't you eat with her, as you mention being hungry...surely it would be best to make both your meals, all your leals together....

Original poster

jamjarparmar · 20/07/2007 09:57

thanks for suggestions.. Usually I've got something frozen (ooh homemade of course)that I can whack in the micro, but sometimes she can't be bothered/ isn't quite hungry enough to eat as soon as we get in. I like the combination idea of bath and food at same time! nice multi tasking. But I agree with malfoy, think sometimes she just wants to hang out with us for a bit. But I am going to try to switch some things around - GONE are the daily baths. IN comes speedy food, perhaps while we are having stories. I am going to aim to have her in PJs and in bedroom with stories by 7 tonight, I will let you know how it goes. PS she is lovely really. Aren't they all. And Mistle just remembdered theyt are SOME Days when I managed a good time. perhaps I am just lacking in usual high levels of competence, aenergy and patience..

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Original poster

jamjarparmar · 21/07/2007 10:07

got home last night and managed to get her into bed by 7.15 - she was asleep 5 mins later!! however she did wake up at 11.30pm wanting breakfast.. think I still need to learn about amounts of food she wants when she gets home (like yours mistlethrush my dd has 3 meals and 2 snacks at nursery) I will continue with the earlier bedtime tonight and keep my fingers crossed x x

OP posts:

winestein · 21/07/2007 22:20

Well done Jamjarparmar. Stick with it . She will get the routine eventually, and you will get some evenings to relax

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