Speech delay. Autism?

[7raina]

My 3 years old has speech delay she was bright was making effort to speak but then it disappeared around the time when my son was born. And I thought it was sibling rivalry (they have year gap between them)
But fast forward to her 3rd bday no speech. Few words and she only speaks when she wants to.
I've been searching for over a year and I convinced myself she is (God forbid) autistic
She doesn't role play no imagination and started hand flapping.
My husband refuses to listen to me he thinks I over exaggerate things. We both r highly educated and although she hasn't been diagnosed I'm broken I had high dreams for her.
Her speech therapist yesterday said she has some traits of autism
We had private assessment and they told us it was just speech delay
Im so stressed for a year I don't sleep much I worry abr her all the time
Now I'm scared that both my kids r autistic
I don't knw wt to do
I wana cry and scream why
And yes she used to be on mobile/iPad all the time since her first bday I took it away 2 weeks ago and seen improvement
Plz only positive comments story
As I'm verge of nervous breakdown

Thanks ladies xxx

@Peacingout123 thank you so much for responding and sharing, he sounds like such a lovely child and is doing really well.

If youre okay to share. What were the early signs? My son is not pointing or speaking and im in the process of getting help/assessment, any advice would be welcome.

I regularly did the ASQ and the M-CHAT screeners. The doctors never had me do them but I was well aware of the ASQ sincr I worked with children and had adminstered them before. I am in North America so not sure if you use the same screening tools. The ASQ also has a second screener that covers more social based things that is done if your child.scores low in specific areas that helps to recognize red flags as well. He scored low on ASQ and scored in between on the M-CHAT with red flags for autism but not low enough to make ASD a for sure thing. This is where it's tricky. He showed some joint attention and eye contact, I find pediatricians soemtimes thinks it's all of nothing. His eye contact and joint attention was no where near as a robust as a typically developing child's, but because in the office he showed some it was over looked. He was at the late age range of normal with pointing. He was speech delayed. He showed signs of sensory processing disorder, he woukdmkaybon the ground in a new place, if a room was too busy he would start to push other kids and when he was a super.little be would rub his cheek on soft object a lot