Impulse control

[Eeyrie]

My 5 year old has intermittent issues with impulse control, and I’m not sure whether this behaviour is normal, or how best to help them with it.

Usually they are very well behaved, and can concentrate well, even when they don’t appear to be listening, although they do struggle when something is coming to an end (film, book, activity etc) with a need to move on before something has finished.

Every now and then (maybe a handful of times a week) their ability to listen/control impulses just vanishes. It tends to be when they are tired or when there is a change (home time, nursery time, Christmas, etc) coming up. It does seem to have improved since they were younger, but is still an issue. It tends to be things like tipping toys everywhere, making messes or playing with light switches. It usually settles really quickly at home with a quiet story or some time outdoors, but this isn’t as easy at nursery and it can go on much longer.

If anyone has any advice on this I’d be grateful

Are you in Scotland? Just wondering about them being in Nursery when they are 5 ?

Your 3rd paragraph suggests different things from being a bit impulsive.

It tends to be things like tipping toys everywhere, making messes or playing with light switches. Sounds like certain types of play, rather than "doing something impulsively" which indicates 'without really thinking about the consequences'

The bit you say about 'when there is a change coming up' and 'when it is time to finish something' stand out too.

Is their school / Nursery concerned ? Have they had a conversation about him/her with you ?

Yes we’re in Scotland.

I know what you mean about different types of play, but this seems different to the usual tipping/sorting/posting play, and there’s a noticeable shift in his behaviour- he is suddenly frenetic and can’t/won’t listen (so asking him to stop putting water in the sand would cause him to do it more insistently and faster)

It’s something nursery have brought up, particularly in the run up to Christmas when it was happening most days, and he had to be taken to a quiet area to calm down (he also kicked out at them twice trying to run off, which has never happened before), but it’s never been mentioned as a major concern - I think because he’s well behaved most of the time and he knows that he’s done something he shouldn’t have - but also I think there’s been the assumption that this would settle as he got older. I’m hoping to talk with them today.