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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Dilemma, need help in the next half hour

18 replies

Radley · 07/07/2007 10:12

Help please

dd1 is being an absolute nightmare this morning, mouthy, obnoxious, picking on her sister etc.

My dilemma is this

She goes to ballet every saturday, I am so pissed off with her (she can't lose anything else for her bad behaviour) that I really don't want to take time out on my saturday to take her to something she enjoys when I really don't think she deserves it.

DH is in bed off nights and I KNOW that if I don't take her etc he will go mad when he wakes up as we pay monthly not per class, what would you do?

(He is already in my bad books for giving the kids candy floss for breakfast, this has no bearing on her behavious, she is always like this)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SpeccieSeccie · 07/07/2007 10:15

If you don't take her might it end up just wrecking your day?

policywonk · 07/07/2007 10:16

I reckon that whoever's in charge of the children is entitled to make the decisions about discipline. Your husband should be backing you up - it makes it difficult to parent effectively if you have to worry about his reaction as well. If you think that this is the best way to get the message across to her, you should do it. Do you second-guess the decisions your DH makes when he's in charge of the kids?

Original poster

Radley · 07/07/2007 10:16

Little sod has just been talking nasty about my beloved dad who died 5 years ago

If I take her to dance I may well leave her there.

OP posts:

funkimummy · 07/07/2007 10:19

Not sure how old she is, but denying her a pleasure is quite possibly a way of showing her you mean business?

If it's any consolation, I was a 'difficult' teenager and now have an absolutely marvellous relationship with my Mum!

Original poster

Radley · 07/07/2007 10:21

She is only 8

OP posts:

funkimummy · 07/07/2007 10:22

Is she the eldest?

NannyL · 07/07/2007 10:23

if she has been thatbadny behaved then you are well within your rights to remover her privelidges...

maybe she will learn...

also if she keeps behaving badly and keeps not being allowed to go then you will save your monthly bill and stop it all together... until she learsn to changer her behaviour and her attitude.

Also agree the OH should back you up with your discipline.... if she is that badly behaved then there should be no problem with removing priveldges...

you could of course be really cruel and make her pay for the class out of her pocket money!

Carmenere · 07/07/2007 10:23

However if you bring her to the class she will have to behave, where as if you keep her at home she may continue to behave badly.

Original poster

Radley · 07/07/2007 10:25

Thanks all.

Carmenere, i know what u mean, i'll have a blissful 1 1/2 hr with dd2 if she goes, but i'll be on edge wonderingvwhat mood she'll bev in when she finishes (if she gets tired she'll be worse)

OP posts:

Carmenere · 07/07/2007 10:30

I would send her, it is good discipline for her to go and to hell with worrying about what mood she is in when she finishes. If she is being a brat still, well then it is time to make her wash all the windows or clean out under her bed or something. Take her and enjoy a bit of peace because then you will be better able to handle her afterwards.

TheLadyEvenstar · 07/07/2007 10:32

Radley,

You say "she's only 8" .....she is old enough to know every action has a reaction and in this case I would not allow her to go to dance. I would put her in her room until she can apologise. If you are worried about noise waking DH up then put her in a room with you but facing away from tv etc...she will soon change her behaviour and calm down...

I don't reward for bad behaviour regardless of how much I may have paid for something.

Original poster

Radley · 07/07/2007 10:33

I think you may be right, she refuses point blank to tidy her room. I have 2 week off soon and i'm doing her room from top to bottom including removing books, tele and video etc

OP posts:

TheLadyEvenstar · 07/07/2007 10:39

Radley, my ds also 8 did this only once...refused to do his room I mean.....he ended up 16 black bags of toys less in there... I didn't wait i just went in and did it. Oddly enough since then his room been nice and tidy lol.

But back to dd.....if you let her go today she will think she can be rude etc with no consequences. If you stop her she may cry and sulk but she will realise she has got to stop doing things like this or she will get punished. As for dh he is going to have to go with you on this one....You are in charge of DC now while he is asleep.... I know what night shift men are like lol my dp is in bed now having done Night shift last night.

TheLadyEvenstar · 07/07/2007 10:40

ooppss soz meant to say keep her at home put her in her room with some rubbish bags and tell her to get on with it... if she doesn't off you go you have your go ahead to empty it.....bet she'll start helping when you throw the first bag of toys away

funkimummy · 07/07/2007 10:42

I agree with theladyevenstar.

All actions have consequences, whether good or bad.

I'd keep her off ballet too. Perhaps she will think twice about being naughty in future.

On a slightly different note. Do you think she is she being bad to get your attention?

TheLadyEvenstar · 07/07/2007 10:43

Funki aren't they always lol..

funkimummy · 07/07/2007 10:45

Well.....yes!

God if only we had an instruction manual. Wouldn't life be so much easier?

TheLadyEvenstar · 07/07/2007 10:47

lol nooo that would make life boring and not challenging.

Guess i am a tough mummy to ds. He knows if he doesn't do what he is asked he loses out..but then he is a good boy on the whole...we did have a few weeks of silliness. The last 2 nights he has washed, dried up and put dishes away ohhhh the bliss lmao

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