Bedtime nightmare with 6 month old

[Pinnie2]

Hello - I wonder if anyone can help..

My six month old wails at bedtime and has done since the ‘4 month regression’ when feeding to sleep ceased.

I can’t figure out where we are going wrong!...

We have a good bedtime routine (Bath, change, feed - gap - story - quick walk/sing, put down gently in cot with comforter and familiar phrase, leave the room).
We give him 10minutes to see if he will settle himself. Then stick to 5 minute intervals before going in to settle him and leaving again but it seems to make him worse. I’m afraid that I’m not in the leave him to cry for hours camp - perhaps when he is a little older I’ll toughen up. He desperately grabs at us when we go in to settle him so the problem appears to be us and our presence and yet he can still wail when we are stood over him soothing him with voice and touch ( depending on how high level the crying is).
He will cry until he is hoarse - it’s just horrible to listen to.
He has a light, friendly, lovely temperament. A bit cautious perhaps.
We did the whole sleep training thing and now he can self soothe and he sleeps through until 4/5am.
Once or twice a week he will settle perfectly fine when being put down at bedtime.
He goes down for naps no problem with the same routine as bedtime (but shorter without the bath, which he loves). Av total naps 2.5 to 3hrs. No naps after 4:30 unless it’s a quick power nap to bridge the gap to bedtime.
I’ve varied the times of the last nap and length of the last nap and actual bedtime and adjusted awake times to try to figure out the problem.

As you can probably tell - I’ve done a fair bit of reading on subject because I find it so sad that he works himself up into such a state. However, I can’t seem to go any further because most suggestions and recommendations are related to sleep training and self settling - which he can do at all other times bar bedtime. Does anyone have any ideas please.

Thanks

Getting clingy perhaps? Could you stay in tbeirvwith him to 'nap' then sneak out once he's asleep? Not a long term solution it maybe he needs reassurance?

Mmmmm yes Surreygirl - that’s exactly what my instincts tell me, thank you! I suppose I’m just worried that if i am in his room soothing him to sleep then he may become reliant on me esp at 6 months when they are such quick learners. I note that his sleep is always more unsettled when I eventually have to smooth him to sleep; rather than on the odd occasion when he drifts off peacefully by himself. Babies are baffling! Perhaps I’ll try some quiet music...

I am having the exact same problem with my DS he is almost 9 months and has been a mainly a BF baby. I probably messed up by leaving it too late. I took the easy route of feeding him to sleep until 6 months or rocking him to sleep after that. I’ve only been trying to sleep train him properly for the past month but like OP he constantly gets up and tries to grab me and cries if I don’t pick him up. He is usually a very happy, lively baby who will go to anyone but when he’s tired he becomes VERY clingy and will only be BF or rocked to sleep. He doesn’t go through all night either and I have to repeat this at least twice and most of the time he ends up in my bed. I’m worried he’s never going to want to sleep alone!