Good old fashioned smacking

[heepie]

I don't believe it did me any harm and I do wonder why the previous generation, ie mine, was so much better behavied than the current, ie my kids. I find the softly softly, ignore bad reward good behaviour does not work with a strong willed child and find myself more and more thinking what was wrong with a good old smack? Peeing on the floor right in front of you with a big smile on the face surely warrants more than the removal of a star on the reward chart? And whacking little brother over the head with a heavy object? Not eating something very nice and edible that I have slaved over in the kitchen? Why must we never tell our children to eat what is in front of them when I wasn't allowed to leave the table until I was finished? I don't have an eating disorder. I think it's time I through all the modern how to bring up children books out of the window and remember how it was done when I was a child? Anyone else feel this way?

He wasn't prosecuted for being a good, loved, respected teacher. He was prosecuted because he violently and humiliatingly assaulted his child in public. He broke the law. Well-respected people of previous good character commit shocking crimes all the time and are quite rightly punished. The distress and misery he and his family suffered subsequently are a consequence of what he did, not the fact that somebody reported him for it.

Why did he pull down her pants? I find that very troubling, I really do.

My example was admittedly extreme, but was just to show that a child's distress is not an indicator of good parenting.

I agree Greeny. His daughter's distress at the outcome of the hearing was also his responsibility. As you say, none of it would have happened if he had managed to control himself.

Oh probably because he is from North Lanarkshire which is a very working class area therefore he is stupid.

According to Xenia in case anyone reads that post on a stand alone basis and thinks that it's MY opinion

Also the reason he did this to her was because she was hysterical with pain and fear already. I can't imagnie how it must have felt for her for her father to humiliate and hurt her on top of all that, when what he should have been doing was calming and reassuring her. Bastard.

And as a teacher he would have been well aware of child protection legislation too. He would have known that his actions were illegal (quite apart from being plain wrong that is).

Don't worry. That had Xenia written all over it

I bet he was embarrassed by her. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I know I sometimes feel more angry with dd in public.

(Not excusing him btw)

This really is a bad example for pro smackers to use because I am very over the whole making all smacking illegal thing, as I have previously posted, but this one seems absolutely cut and dried to me.

Really, really shocking.

Well maybe he's an example from Gozilla's article where he's never smacked his kids before therefore he is more likely to do so out of control

I don't think it said the child was taken away but I might be wrong. I think they all had to attend sessions - and a jolly good thing too. If some teachers think it's fine to break the law and use physical violence on their children then they need re-education and help and that's what this family got. That's what a good few posters on this thread could do with too although hopefully having read about the legal position on this they will stop any illegal activity.

I wonder how they cope with children and sex too... some children in later life write about being aroused by being spanked and here we had a man with an 8 year old girl, pants down and public smacked on the bottom. Don't you all worry it's a bit of sexual thing too.... horrible idea that British parents think it's fine to hit.

Do you know what the biggest single indicator for affect on a child is - divorce. Nothing else will affect them so greatly. So should we take all chldren of divorced parents off them?
No, of course we shouldn't because the children are loved deeply by their parents. And that at the end of the day can cover a multitude of sins. And in the incidence of smacking there could be nothing worse than taking children away. You all need to get a grip, you really do, and this is my biggest reason for not making smacking illegal.

Your biggest argument for not making smacking illegal is that divorce is really bad?

Um.

Shut up, then

No but that there are much worse things than smacking and to take children away from their parents should be an ultimate resort.
By the way would never say shut up to anyone.

I wouldn't say it to a child. An adult who makes illogical and irrelevant remarks in a serious discussion is fair game, however

I am now going to put a brick through your front window. And I hope you won't think of calling the police - because coming round when you're all asleep and fire-bombing your house would be MUCH worse.

I am not funnny, I know I will be told in a minutye...Xenia I really don' not dislike you, but...in full on parewnting and whtever, you relly are clueless, sorry...because once your Kids get to a cetain age they get handed over in their genera care, and with us normal parent that do'yt earn a bomb that could be screwed up into we don't care etc....even though we probably spend more time with our Kids then you may imgaine...

Eh????

That was to greensleeves

I think what MOg meant is, that divorces actualy effects and affects children of this time the most....

sorry, xenia, my spelling was rubbish...long day, sigh

flippin 'eck, never thought I would say this but, I agree with xenia!
and, of course, greensleeves,-(am really loving your dedication to the subject, would love to join your side an post lots but my 3, very challenging, children are taking up all of my time and energy thinking up new behaviour tactics!)

I have skimmed this thread very quickly.
my position...

I believe smaking anyone to be abusive.

therefore I believe smaking children is child abuse.

simple as.

Oh no, this has gone on to about a zillion posts since I last came & played, I will have to take out about 2 hours to read them all, bollox. Don't have time tonight or possibly the rest of the weekend. In fact, life is too short to argue so I guess I wont bother unless I read something that angers me to apoplexy . Off to start reading now.

Well, I have skimmed through this thread and I stand by my posts.

However, one poster did anger me rather alot.

Xenia.

How on earth can you state, that, it's only uneducated people who smack (meaning me, if you have read the entire thread).

Do you know where I was educated? It is obvious that you would not know, so I will not bore you with the details.

The particular point that angered me was that you think that there are alternatives. Of course, there are. What were yours? This leads me to the question; You were far too busy pursuing your career and leaving your children with a Nanny & an ex-husband to concern yourself with things like discipline, surely? Are you very sure that your Nanny wasn't smacking your children? If you are; how, since you say that you were never there?

In fact, did you ever see your children? You have stated on here many times how important it became that you returned to work two weeks after your children were born.

It may be said that this is a personal attack. It most certainly is. This is based on the information given by Xenia on here. I will not have Xenia describing me as 'uneducated', which I believe is a personal attack on me.

I know kids who get spanked who are horrible and i know kids who have never been spanked who are wonderful. And vice verse. I think it really depends on your child and you. I don't spank my kids but that is my choice.
What I do believe is that if you do believe in spanking your kids, you should never do it while your angry. And it should only be done in the most extreme circumstances.
I think the key to good discipline is consistency, not the type of punishment. I think you could get the same result by putting your child in a naughty chair if you a consistent.
Once again it really depends on the parent and child.