How to handle Seven/Eight year old girls - I'm running out of ideas

[Sparkler]

DD1 will be 8 on Sunday. For some time now DH and I are having real problems with her. She is moody, grumpy, won't do anything we ask her to. She shouts at us and tells us we are mean and horrible and how she is fed up with us bossing her around. She has been very tearful recently also. Her confidence seems to have lessened as well. Sometimes she tells us we don't love her and she doesn't care if we don't let her do XYZ if she doesn't behave. We've noticed her complaining about everything too - "I have a bad leg, I have stomach ache, my eye hurts". These have been a few of this weeks complaints.
DH and I have done our utmost since she was born to love her, hug her and tell her how beautiful she is and how pleased we are with how she does things.
Everything at school seems fine as far as we can tell. She goes to school everyday without any problem and always seems happy to see her friends when we get there. She was worried about Maths being difficult but I spoke to the teacher and things seem to be okay on that front now.
We have tried everything we can think of to handle situations. We've tried asking nicely, not so nicely, we've tried taking her favourite things away (ie not going to Brownie's) and none of this makes any difference.
Just wondered if this is a normal behavour thing for a child of this age or if we have something to worry about.
DH and I are feeling after yet another night of putting DD to bed on a sad note.

What I hate is when I hear from my dd (9) 'that's minging' or 'that's manky'...where the hell do they learn that? School I guess?

When dd1 has friends home after school for tea etc I'm regularly amazed at how appalling some kids behave - ie no table manners, no manners of any kind (ie please and thank you etc) - its then that I look across at my dd and think she's not that bad after all. Yes she has her moments but then most kids do, don't they?

I always ask the Mums before a friend comes over for tea what they would like for tea and one child said 'disgusting' when I placed it on the table in front of her and another child said 'yeuck'. Needless to say I took a trip to the other room and counted to ten......!! And the dog did well for tea.

I've got a 10 year old drama queen.

We've just begun availing ourselves of the temporary boarding service at dd's school.

One night per week

Lol... "She looks like an angel when she's asleep"
Mine don't...i snuck in to check last night - mouths open snoring hehehe!

One of my 6 year olds was appalled when I got our suitcases out the loft for our holiday tomorrow. "Oh my god mum, you're not taking those are you". Er yes. "How embarrassing, they're sooooo old fashioned, they're hideous". How on earth has a 6 year old got like that? What does she know about suitcases and fashion? .

Everything probably sandyballs

I'm a complete fashion embarrassment to my dd which is just the way it should be

It's very interesting reading this!

As an aside, my DD has suffered badly from eczema since she was 4. Our lovely, elderly (i.e. wise!) GP said that girls do have a minor hormone shift around 8 years old in preparation for puberty, and in our particular case this may help with the eczema (it did and she's much better).

It explains the mood swings!! I just hate it when they coincide with mine

I just see myself in my dd

Bella i hear you there...i can wait forever for 3 pmt ppl in our house! Unfortunately i don't think it's going to be that long. I'll be buying ladyshavers b4 u know it and my babies will be young ladies (sniff)

I can see myself in my dd too - scary isn't it? When I was a child if I didn't get my own way I was known to slam a few doors etc...so I'm told.

DD has asked if she can start shaving her legs and when can she wear a bra - my answer to those questions were:

When you are happy to shave them every single week otherwise you'll end up like a hairy monster and when you have something to put in a bra.

My youngest dd (3) looks very angelic when she's asleep - thumb in mouth, usually snoring etc. The eldest dd, however, is a different story. She kicks off her quilt, her nightie is normally ridden up around her armpits and her legs open wide...not a pretty sight but she's asleep...hey ho!

My dd is 8.5 and is seriously stroppy atm, having previously been on the feisty but ultimately biddable and pleasant end of the spectrum for years. Quite hard work at times.

Physically I see no signs of puberty but maybe the hormones are inwardly churning...
...just in time to join in with 12 yo ds2 who's also grown an attitude of late...

Your dds all seem to be about 8, mine is not yet 6! She called me a 'loser' yesterday. I know it's a cliche but when she is good she is very very good and a joy to be with but when she is bad she is horrid! She can be such a drama queen. I know you should ignore bad behaviour however when dd is being rude, checky and sometimes not very nice to friends/sister I find it impossible to ignore, it's almost like condoning it isn't it?

This all sounds SO familiar - we have a DD who's just turned 7. I have no answers, but I'm glad to hear it's "normal"....

Thank fish suppers its not just my house.

but where do they 'learn' this? Why don't dd friends seem to be like this (well when they are with me anyway)?

They are like with their own mothers so I've been told, dd's friends are all sweet as pie with me

DD (9yo) has just come home from school...miserable as hell....face like thunder....all because she didn't get the pudding she wanted at lunchtime.....oh dear, devastation..... Here's to an exciting, fun packed evening with her then!

I,m also having the exact same problems with my DD(7),but as well seems to be suffering with insomnia,or at least finds it incredibly dofficult to get to sleep.in fact Ive actually had to keep her off school today as she couldnt get to sleep till half twelve last night,she hets in such a state because she cant sleep then cant sleep because shes so upset.Ive tried everything from baths,hot chocolate,relaxing music...you name it Ive tried it.
Has anyone else encountered this ?

They do have quite a growth spurt between 7 and 8 and get terribly overtired.

I qualified as a massage therapist a few years ago and it has been a huge help. Whenever dd is a bit uptight I give her a back massage with almond or grapeseed oil and a drop of lavender oli and it works a treat. We also do things like "pedicure" rather than boring old "cutting toenails", doing all the special lotion on the feet etc. It is a nice way of one to one attention, and we can have a relaxed chat.

They like to feel grown up, but still need a bit of attention and pampering, if that makes sense.

If she gets overtired, she becomes overemotional, tearful and cross, and quite unreasonable - (she is nine). I think that just carries on throughout the teenage years - it is just a matter of degree!

Another one here with a hugely stroppy and rude 7, nearly 8yr old.
like someone else said further up the thread, i found exercise has helped immensely, she has always done gymnastics and has now been training 9hrs a week which will increase to 12hrs next month.

She is totally obsessed with gymnastics and she seems much happier now she has an interest that is physical and she adores..although the living room is always a gym floor now and the sofas are taking a bashing from her constant flips...!

My dd (age 7 1/2) is only badly behaved when she is very tired.

After school activities and TV make her more tired and correspondingly worse behaved. Is your dd tired?

If I stick to very restricted TV access, regular bedtime at 7.30pm and 2 after school activities a week then my dd is a joy to have around (except when it is time for homework!)

I put some of it down to hunger. My dd comes home from school so hungry (and grumpy!). She is much better at the weekends and was a dream on holiday, when I made sure she ate something every couple of hours. Could hunger really effect someone so much?

yes! my dd is horrible if she didn't eat much lunch at school!

She sounds like she is 14 or 15

I think that's it. I don't think she has much lunch (not enough time - very slow eater) but doesn't really have the inclination either, would rather talk.