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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Oh why won't he go to sleep?

22 replies

Washersaurus · 14/06/2007 19:49

Every night is the same, despite being knackered DS (nearly 2) just won't go to sleep.

We give him a bath, read him a story and put him to bed by 7pm (as we always have done) yet he stays up messing around until about 8.30/9pm. By which time I feel like going to bed myself. I am getting really fed up with it, but don't know what to do!

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Original poster

Washersaurus · 14/06/2007 19:56

I am sorely tempted to scream at him through the baby monitor (I have tried turning it off completely but can still him crashing about in his cot up there)

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Bodkin · 14/06/2007 20:04

Does he still have a daytime nap? If yes, maybe it is time to wean him off it, if no, maybe re-introduce it!!! When younger, my DD always dropped off better at night if she had had a nap, otherwise, she went past the point of no return and just went bonkers.

Original poster

Washersaurus · 14/06/2007 20:08

He does still have a lunchtime nap of about 1-1.5 hrs which he doesn't cope well without (I have tried). He is clearly really really tired but won't sleep....after a long day entertaining him I'm really really tired

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juuule · 14/06/2007 20:32

By messing around do you mean you are trying to settle him for 1hr-1hr and half? If so, then that is tiring. Perhaps let him stay up and potter around until 8:30/9pm? Would that be a possibility?

Original poster

Washersaurus · 14/06/2007 20:42

He is messing around in his cot rattling and dropping the cotside down, jumping around, singing, shouting etc.

I don't really go in to settle him once I have put him to bed (unless I really have to) as he seems to think it is really funny

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Original poster

Washersaurus · 14/06/2007 20:43

God 8.30/9pm is a very late bedtime for a 2yr old isn't it?

I am expecting no.2 in a few weeks I don't think I could cope with such a long day with both of them

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juuule · 14/06/2007 20:46

If he's just playing in his cot and not upset then I would leave him and listen in now and then to make sure he's not upset. It could be his way of settling himself. Once it goes quiet go in and check he's asleep and cover him up. Try and tune out the crashing around. As long as he's not upset then I wouldn't consider it a problem.

juuule · 14/06/2007 20:48

Is he the same if you've taken him out to the park or somewhere after he's had a nap. That sometimes tired mine out and they would crash out about 7pm or very occassionally around 6:30.

juuule · 14/06/2007 20:50

8:30-9pm has been around average for some of mine at 2y. My 3y can still be awake at 10pm most nights and that's without a daytime nap.

RIELOVESBACARDI · 14/06/2007 20:51

if hes in his room and just playing just leave him to it

Original poster

Washersaurus · 14/06/2007 20:53

It doesn't seem to make any difference whether we have been out doing things all day or at home having a quiet day - he still won't go to sleep for hours and hours (although it has thankfully gone quiet up there now)

We have been leaving him to settle himself but his cot is right above the front room and his crashing about makes it difficult for us to relax, and being 33wks I NEEEEEED to relax

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juuule · 14/06/2007 20:56

Use earplugs, mp3player with earphones, in fact anything with earphones? Turn the tv up? Go into the kitchen until the noise settles?

juuule · 14/06/2007 20:58

Glad it's gone quiet for you now Kick off your shoes, get your feet up and relax.....

reece · 14/06/2007 21:05

Have you tried letting him nap every other day rather than every day? Just a thought as my DS (2.3) has recently been like yours, not settling at night etc and then I cut out the afternoon nap for a couple of days. He does quite well without it but come day 3 he needs one again.

Original poster

Washersaurus · 14/06/2007 21:16

Ooooh I could try alternate day napping I suppose.

I don't want to make DS' bedtime any later really as DH and I really value the couple of hours we get together before we collapse in bed and it all starts over at 6.30am in the morning

...and I don't want to go near our kitchen in the evening - unfortunately it isn't a nice space with chairs or a TV etc it is a pokey cupboard sized space which doesn't even have a view of the garden.

I think I am only getting wound up so much recently because I am so exhausted from being pregnant and the heat etc.

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castrolgtx · 14/06/2007 21:20

If my 2 year old slet for an hour and a half in the day i could well expect him to be up till 10/11, even without a nap now it's summer, hhe'd never be in bed by 7.
I'd just do something fun for an extra hour and not worry so much about the time, sounds like everyones getting stressed.

Original poster

Washersaurus · 14/06/2007 21:25

Hmmm maybe we do need to rethink the whole bedtime thing then....it was all going so well up until recently

I would rather lose the daytime nap first if we can.

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Original poster

Washersaurus · 14/06/2007 21:28

I should say that he is usually awake at 6/6.30am as we all get up early to have breakfast together before DH goes to work - that is one of the reasons we put him to bed at 7pm

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alexw · 14/06/2007 21:33

How long has this been going on? Remember everything is a phase and to stick to usual routine. Definitely do not interfere if he's not in distress in cot. My dd does this from time to time and I do find it amusing over monitor, but never go in if she is not screaming. - They drop off eventually and after a few nights are so tired they usually revert to 7pm. Evenings are so imp for you and oh that as long as ds is "happy" let him tire himself out and fall asleep. At this age any interaction to try to reinforce going to sleep only wakens them and if they're in dark room, then that's fine!! Try shortening the daytime sleep - do not alter night time routine or this will cause confusion... Sorry to sound so regimented about this, but am a big fam of 'grown up time' (ie after 7pm).

Original poster

Washersaurus · 14/06/2007 21:48

Thanks for the reassurance alex, I don't think DH or I would last a week if we kept DS up later than 7pm. We thought that was a reasonable bedtime for a 2 year old anyway. DH and I don't make it much past 10pm ourselves before we have to go to sleep some nights

It probably is just a phase - I think he has just realised that we can hear him and so is acting up on our account (he is a bit of an entertainer). I will try shortening his daytime nap and see if that helps too (although usually doing this just puts him in a grumpy mood for the rest of the day)

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reece · 14/06/2007 21:48

I put both my Ds's (2.3 and 3.6) to bed at 7.30/8pm almost every night. If they are showing signs of not being tired I let them stay up a little later in the summer. We found that we were stressing ourselves out trying to stick to strict routine. If they weren't tired we would spend the next hour running up and down the stairs or trying to ignore the noises. They are only little versions of ourselves. Some nights we are more tired and ready for bed than other nights.
Everyone to their own though I suppose. It's whatever works for you.

PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt · 15/06/2007 09:03

Just a thought - if you do shorten the day time nap, he might be grumpy for that day and then he'll drop of earlier that night because he's more tired. He should then cope better with the shorter nap he next day because he had a longer night.... It may take a couple of days or so to get in to the groove?!

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