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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

19 month old DS reducing me to tears daily!

9 replies

ChorusLine · 29/05/2007 21:12

My 19 months behaviour is getting worse. DS is a highly active boy who loves nothing more than runinng around at high speed which I can cope with as i live next door to a large park, and to be honest it tires him out!

I am a single mummy so just the two of us at home and over the last two weeks he has started smacking myself and anyone (very hard) we visit/visits our house. When he does this i have tried the distract/say no/placing him on his bottom etc. As soon as he gets back up he seems to do it even harder. Today i was just so fed up that I put him in his playpen and walked into the other room and sobbed my heart out . The playpen is not connected to play (i won it in a competition and only opened it today). I realise he is far too young for the naughty step (IMO) and I know 'they all do it' as mum says. I truly am at my wits end looking for solutiuons as he is not gentle either and it stings.

I have been told that they get a surge of testosterone at 18 months. Please please please give me hints and tips on how you got through it - if you had the pleasure of it!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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babyblue2 · 29/05/2007 21:16

He's not too young for naughty step imo. I had the same problem with DD2 when she was this age. Had the health visitor round cos i really couldn't cope. She was so quick on her heels and could seek mischief out in an instance. Naughty step was introduced and she became more settled. She's now 2.3 and is still a devil but feel more confident handling it now that there is a punishment zone in place.

feetheart · 29/05/2007 21:17

I don't know about 'too young for the naughty step'. My son is about the same age and has been on the step a few times already. He does see his 4 yr old sister being put on it as well though! I see it as removing him from the situation (and giving me a space as well) I think if you are consistant he will get the message though will test it to the limit so it might get worse before it gets better. Not sure if that helps.

hairymclary · 29/05/2007 21:18

oh poor you as a mum of a very boisterous boy I know how frustrating it can be.
It will get better, just be consistent. say no, and place him in the playpen or on the floor away from you every time he hits and eventually he will get bored of it.

Dottydot · 29/05/2007 21:21

lots of sympathy from me too! I'd definitely try a version of the naughty step - either putting him on a stair or in the playpen as soon as he hits. Tell him 'no hitting' - firmly but not shouting - and say he has to stay in there for 1 minute.

However long you leave it, make sure if he can say sorry, he does (can't remember what they can say at 19 months! ).

Go for it - he needs to know you're the boss and he'll push and push until you show him who's in charge!

Original poster

ChorusLine · 29/05/2007 21:23

Thank you everyone - maybe not too young then for the step! He is just a true rough and tumble boy - I wonder how a person that small can whack me so hard. I think I will give it a go as the play pen is huge.

Thanks again x

OP posts:

tribpot · 29/05/2007 21:24

I think you did the right thing. They are too young for the naughty step in the sense that you literally cannot make them stay in one place, but the playpen can be your naughty step, particularly since he doesn't associate it with play.

I only tolerate a very gentle smacking from ds when he is insanely tired, otherwise, it is instantly put down to the floor and told "you do NOT hit mummy [or daddy]" - he is often very upset about it (runs off crying in corner etc) but you aren't hurting him by putting him down again, he will learn from this.

From your perspective, much better to put him down somewhere safe and go off and have your cry, than the alternative. Don't feel bad. We've all been there. Heck, I've been there and my dh is a SAHD. Would die if I had to cope with this on my own, so bloody well done to you.

babyblue2 · 29/05/2007 21:26

I was worried DD wouldn't stay on the naughty step but HV told me to sit with her, don't talk to her, but to stay until her time is up otherwise they are then regulating the punishment. She's stayed put though tries to shuffle her way off the mat.

Original poster

ChorusLine · 29/05/2007 21:29

Hi trib its thistime - can't seem to log on under usual name! Wise words as usual - you have had the pleasure of my DS so hopefully you will know what i mean - althought the smacking had not started until recently.

Hope you three are well x

OP posts:

tribpot · 29/05/2007 21:35

Ooh! ThisTime, would never have thought this was your gorgeous ds Just goes to show even the angelic ones have monstrous tendencies!

If you need a little break, I can definitely take your ds off for a trip to the park with mine, I can guarantee he won't act up the same way - they just don't when it's not their mummies!

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