2 Year Old started objecting strongly to going to bed........?

[LadyOfTheFlowers]

Ok, Ds1 has always gone to bed beautifully. Come 7.30/8pm if I had not put him up, he would go to the gate and ask, in his own way to go up. Put him in his cot and off he went.

Saturday before last, he stayed at Mum's so I Dh and I could go out. During the night, he fell out of Mum's bed (she only has one cot) then woke up and screamed blue murder whenever she got up to Ds2 or to let a cat in/out.

I understood he was scared and since then he has woken almost every night at around 2am wanting to come into our bed. He has been in such a state I have brought him into our bed for about 20 mins after which he is happy to go back in his own.

This is still happening occaisionally, the problem now however is getting him to bed in the first place.
When I tell him it's time he objects and throws himself down or makes an awful objecting whinging noise. I don't want to leave him paddying in his bed as he gets so worked up and is sick or wakes Ds2 up.
I don't understand why he wont go to bed in the first place all of a sudden?
What usually happens now is he falls asleep on the sofa with a cushion and blankie at around 10.30/11pm which I am not happy about as surely this is no good for him?
It's quite a shock for me as he has always been so easy in this department.
He will be 2 in July. Is this just a normal 2 year old thing?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Am off to bed now, quite late as you can see as I can't wind down and go to sleep without some time to myself in the evenings first.

Will check back tomorrow.
TIA.
Xx

Anyone?

ds1 did start to rebel a bit over bedtime at about that age but as he was an only child I was able to spend the time just repeating "it's time for bed" and carrying him upstairs to deal with the tantrum on the way to the bathroom.

We have a bedtime routine which involves bath at 7pm and I bought some different bath toys off ebay and some bath paints etc etc, something new was miraculously waiting in a drawer upstairs almost every time he threw a wobbler and we were back on track quite quickly.

I know not everyone can chuck money at the problem like we did (new bath toys etc) but it worked for us.

I think if you persevere with your normal routine and be strong he will go back, or at least to something similar.

My ds was a toddler who would be sick when upset too, and we have been there with cleaning up sick before we can get him into bed! However, to be honest, once they've been sick their arsenal of strategies is much diminished....

I don't mean that to sound as if I think your ds is being manipulative, of course he's not; he's upset. What I mean is that if you press on through this stage it will eventually mean he gets to bed. Perhaps you can tell him you'll sit with him while he drops off...we did this with ds who much the same as yours, suddenly couldn't 'do' bedtime alone.

i think it may have something to do with fears of being alone which come when they reach a certain stage.

For us, sitting with ds worked a treat. He knew we would ONLY stay if he layed down in bed; if he tried to get up or talk as if it was playtime we would make to leave.

It may be that you could try this with the aim that as he got used to it you could sit either outside, or come and go to do other things for a minute or two at a time.

But I would make it clear that bedtime is bedtime in his room, the sofa is not an option if it means he's not sleeping till that late and you are up till all hours just to have a tiny bit of child free time.

Good luck.

Hi

we have always been lucky with ds (same age as yours) at bedtime - he used to fall asleep incredibly well and would 'ask' to go to bed at the right time.
But from around a month ago he has really started monkeying around. He throws his teddy out of bed again and again and screams as he knows we will go back in as he can't sleep without it.
He also battles a bit more about actually getting into bed.

We have done what Honoria suggests pretty much - we stick with bedtime, and now we read his story with him in bed rather than on our lap - this acts as an incentive to get in the bed. If he sits up we stop the story and tell him he has to lie down if he wants the story which seems to be working. Still not as easy to get to sleep as before but it is working.

this brings back memories.

I put a stairgate on his door and put some quiet toys and picture books on his bed and would leave him in there, gate closed for half an hour. He's be tired when I came back up and more malleable for a cuddle and story.

We did this for about 3 months and then he just got into a routine. He's usually pretty good about bedtime now.

do you warn him when it is nearly bedtime? He may be starting to resent being suddenly taken off to bed. This helped my older two a lot.

The dts are a nightmare, I have two gates on their bedroom to stop them getting out, and nothing in there but their cots and a few cuddlies. The still often end up asleep on the floor and I have to put them back in their cots. It does work though.