Oh lawks I have become one of those miserable neighbours who won't give the ball back

[FrannyandZooey]

Please help me out here. Next door's second youngest is 5 and he is forever chucking balls over our fence and then shouting for ds to get them for him. Ds (who is 4) feels important to be doing it and will always break off what he is doing to go and chuck the ball back.

However this often happens at mealtimes when I prefer ds NOT to keep getting down from the table, and also sometimes happens in the evening when dp and I are trying to veg out. Neighbours go to bed late so at 9 pm or so he will be shouting "DS! DS! DS!" over the fence until one of us come. Ds luckily stays fast asleep.

WWYD? I am 99% sure that sometimes he does it on purpose because he is bored and wants ds to come out. They do play together sometimes and that's fine with me - but I would like him to come and knock on our door and ask, if he wants ds to come out and play.

Oh that is the other thing - if we don't go out to get the ball (whether we're ignoring him or just don't hear him) he comes over the fence to get it. Now I REALLY don't like that. Am I just being an uptight arse? I suspect perhaps yes

possibly uncomfortable question, Franny: is the ball coming over that's annoying you? Or the boy who's throwing the ball over who's annoying you?

A combination, Porpoise (I think I was fairly upfront about that)

but if the ball stopped then I would overlook the fact that he annoys me on other occasions

Then I sympathise massively!
We have a similarish problem - made worse by the fact that my boys are frequent ball-over-wall hitters themselves.
I do the if-we're-put-in-the-garden-too-then-we're-happy-to-throw-the-ball-back thing.
But if we're not out, the ball stays there, until either someone rings the doorbell and asks for it or all the kids are in bed and I remember to lob it back.
Next door seem to have got the message. (And operate a similar policy with us!)
Although not sure what I'd do about the fence-climbing thing...

Well it came over while we were eating and I stuck my head out and said we would get it when we had finished eating.

So he stood hanging over the fence the entire time we were eating and when I got up to pass round seconds he started yelling again.

Dp went out when we had finished and told him we didn't want to get his ball while we were eating, but he says he is not convinced it will have an effect

I think we may have to invest in a curtain for the dining room window, and draw it when we are eating

but it is a nice sunny spot otherwise and nice to look at the birds and things while we eat

FFS he's 5

lay down the law

and keep repeating it till it sinks in

why would you allow a 5 year old to dictate how you live

I refer to my first post on this thread

give him some boundaries

and explain to his parents what those boundaries are so they can reinforce them

pmsl at curtain purchase... JUST TELL HIM TO GO AWAY.