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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Oh lawks I have become one of those miserable neighbours who won't give the ball back

84 replies

FrannyandZooey · 14/05/2007 18:48

Please help me out here. Next door's second youngest is 5 and he is forever chucking balls over our fence and then shouting for ds to get them for him. Ds (who is 4) feels important to be doing it and will always break off what he is doing to go and chuck the ball back.

However this often happens at mealtimes when I prefer ds NOT to keep getting down from the table, and also sometimes happens in the evening when dp and I are trying to veg out. Neighbours go to bed late so at 9 pm or so he will be shouting "DS! DS! DS!" over the fence until one of us come. Ds luckily stays fast asleep.

WWYD? I am 99% sure that sometimes he does it on purpose because he is bored and wants ds to come out. They do play together sometimes and that's fine with me - but I would like him to come and knock on our door and ask, if he wants ds to come out and play.

Oh that is the other thing - if we don't go out to get the ball (whether we're ignoring him or just don't hear him) he comes over the fence to get it. Now I REALLY don't like that. Am I just being an uptight arse? I suspect perhaps yes

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

AitchTwoOh · 14/05/2007 22:03

smelly tops, pippi?

PippiLangstrump · 14/05/2007 22:10

FairyMum · 14/05/2007 22:12

I would get annoyed with the constant shouting. However, I don't see the problem with him getting the ball back himself. My children always jumped the fence to get their ball back and I was quite shocked last summer when my neighbour had a go at my daughter for being in his garden. It really hadn't crossed my mind that he would be annoyed. I just thought it was better than waiting for him to kick it back. The kids next door (on the other side) always loose their ball into our garden and I have no problem with them jumping the fence. Why should I? Its not like they ruin the grass or anything.

speccy · 14/05/2007 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AitchTwoOh · 14/05/2007 22:22

it's not terribly good for the fence, though.

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 14/05/2007 22:22

I think it's because we lose any privacy we might have in our house. Our house is not large and if you are in the back garden you can see all the way through to the kitchen, living room and dining room. If I am lying on the sofa in my pjs scratching my arse I don't particularly want a small face appearing at the window.

OP posts:

AitchTwoOh · 14/05/2007 22:22

pmsl

Bubble99 · 14/05/2007 22:25

I agree, Franny. Your home is your whatnot.

Have a word with his parents.

Are they scary? Take a top to wave at them?

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 14/05/2007 22:26

No they are nice, too nice and we don't want to upset them

(see below)

OP posts:

AitchTwoOh · 14/05/2007 22:28

would it really upset them? they're just speaking english as a foreign language, not actually fragile...
you could reasonably say something now, i think, because the nights are lighter but ds needs to go to bed. just say that you've been having trouble getting ds to bed and if he could not shout after teatime starts it would be less distracting for ds.

Avalon · 14/05/2007 22:29

a) new high fence

b) increase height of your existing fence with trellis

speccy · 14/05/2007 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FairyMum · 14/05/2007 22:30

I would just take a chill pill. Scratching your arse is completely normal behaviour and I don't think a child would get that upset. He just want his ball back doesn't he? Soon you will be puncturing the balls before giving them back. Its a slippery slope....

Bubble99 · 14/05/2007 22:31

Have read below.

I still think that you should gently talk to them. Having read your description of them, they would probably be more upset to think that you have been bothered by this, yet not said anything, IYSWIM.

FairyMum · 14/05/2007 22:32

Btw, if they are not English (like myself) they might not be familiar with the very English idea of "my property" I think its because the English generally speaking don't have much land/big gardens, they get very uptight about it. Its mine mine mine

AitchTwoOh · 14/05/2007 22:33

'take a chill pill'? that's my least favourite advisory phrase ever. right up there with 'fgs get a life'. don't mind 'don't get your knickers in a twist' though, oddly enough.

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 14/05/2007 22:34

"they're just speaking english as a foreign language, not actually fragile"

LOL yes it is not so much their fragility I am worried about as mine

no they are just very considerate people and I feel it would be rude to make what would seem like a rather large fuss over this small thing

FM the arse scratching was figurative. I just want some privacy in my home, which includes not having people coming unannounced into the garden.

OP posts:

cornsilk · 14/05/2007 22:34

My ds throws my big exercise ball over the fence into my neighbours garden. He really is gritting his teeth.

AitchTwoOh · 14/05/2007 22:36

but i don't think it's a small thing if he's making you pick up the sodding ball 4 times in 15 mins.

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 14/05/2007 22:38

don't forget it is ds who is playing ballboy here, not me

ah I will sleep on it

perhaps we will be out a lot this summer

OP posts:

AitchTwoOh · 14/05/2007 22:40

he's just lonely. tell him to take a chill pill and fuck off.

WriggleJiggle · 14/05/2007 22:48

Borrow a dog who likes chasing balls, and that just so happens to have REALLY SHARP teeth.

Twiglett · 15/05/2007 08:15

I am actually horrified that anybody would think it was ok for a child to enter someone else's garden without the express permission of the owner

It is actually illegal for an adult to do so (trespass) .. of course it is annoying to most British people .. home is our castle and all that

I have had an idea though Franny .. you should get a cat and throw it at the ball

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 15/05/2007 08:18

LOL

now about the other neighbour's cat who keep pooing in the flowerbeds...

can I deal with both of these problems at once do you think?

OP posts:

AitchTwoOh · 15/05/2007 10:37

with a spray gun of water and a deadly aim? yes i think you can, franny.

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