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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Crying 7 week year old, desperate for advice!

48 replies

asampras · 11/05/2007 21:23

I'm a first time mum and so confused about leaving baby to cry. Everything I've read says that you shouldn't leave a baby to cry for more than 10 minutes. So i constantly have my baby with me all day. And yet sometimes she's crying in my arms so hard despite my attempts to soothe her, i don't think she'd know the difference between being in the cot or with me. I find it such a strain keeping her on me, i don't get time to even meet my basic needs. Tonight i ate 'dinner' - a piece of toast - over her cot whilst i soothed her with my other hand. My husband and i argue about this all the time, i constantly have my baby on me and he thinks we should let her cry in her cot - because "babies cry."

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

liquidclocks · 11/05/2007 21:44

These people are a great resource and their checklists are really helpful: cry-sis

lulumama · 11/05/2007 21:44

the hungry baby milk is most likely giving her tummy ache and making her constipated, i would switch back to the first formula, that should help.....give that a try!

my DD could not tolerate hungry baby milk at 5 months old, gave her terrible belly ache....

worth trying ?

yogimum · 11/05/2007 21:45

baby massage on tummy is in a clockwise direction (if your baby is lying in front of you)

Original poster

asampras · 11/05/2007 21:45

Hi Kiskidee! i had to give up breast feeding at 4 weeks and move on to formula. My supply dried up, took me a while to realise she was trying to feed and nothing was coming out and that was why she was breaking off angrily and crying. Also i had to have a cyst removed from my neck and spent a week in hospital.

OP posts:

ChocolateFace · 11/05/2007 21:45

What do you mean she was feeding too much?

Twiga · 11/05/2007 21:45

sorry to keep firing questions at you but have you tried changing the type of formula you're giving her? Sorry if this is an obvious one.

lulumama · 11/05/2007 21:45

a 7 week old baby cannot feed too much

if you are feeding on demand, then feed on demand, that is what i did with my two, both bottle fed...DS had regular big feeds, DD had lots of small feeds

liquidclocks · 11/05/2007 21:46

asampras- FF does result in harder poos normally and hungry baby food even more so. At 7 weeks she really should just be allowed to drink as much milk as she wants. Where are you? (not UK?)

gingersj · 11/05/2007 21:46

You should absolutely try changing your milk to a non-dairy or soya based one if your MW or HV thinks this is OK. You also need to give it a while ( 2 weeks ) to see the difference.

Hard poos are not normal, DS had them for ages and ages (months) and ended up quite poorly.

I am no doctor, but just remember DS and it sounds similar.

lulumama · 11/05/2007 21:47

i would go back to first formula, no water and feeding on demand, IMHO that might help

Original poster

asampras · 11/05/2007 21:49

i am in the UK. I was feeding her milk whenever she wanted, but the doctor at the 6 week check up told my husband (i was in the hospital) that she should only be fed every 3 hours and since then we've been doing that. Easy for the doctor and DH to say - they don't have to deal with the crying. But she'll cry even after being fed and winded.

OP posts:

kiskidee · 11/05/2007 21:49

i didn't bottle feed but could it be that the hungry baby formula is part of the problem? they are made of a protein which is harder to digest than normal formula so more passes thru them undigested and may be partially responsible for the bowel troubles.

you may want to go back to the 'regular' formula. many times when tiny babies cry, it is not because the food is inadequate, it is because they need to be held a lot and they also need to suck a lot, so maybe normal formula, a dummy and lots of holding, (in a sling) will help?

or if not a sling after you wind her, take her out in the pushchair for long walks or shoggle the pushchair from side to side indoors if you don't feel like a walk yourself.

lulumama · 11/05/2007 21:53

at being told to feed every 3 hours

please just feed her when she needs it...

and first formula

i really think that might help

kiskidee · 11/05/2007 21:54

some doctors are not very bright. if a baby is having a growth spurt, they need to be fed more often.

Listen to your baby. not a doctor on this one. this site also has a sleep cue page if you remove the 'hunger' portion of the address you can find it. feed and sleep go hand in hand.

and try the swaddling/shushing thing from the book again and try the normal formula again.

skirmish · 11/05/2007 21:58

i agree with lulu...just feed whenever! I constantly have thoughts that I must be feeding too often (every 3hrs for 6mth old), but, it keeps him happy, me less stressed so I don't see the problem, despite other peoples 'opinions'!

And really, it does get better. I never thought it would, and then one day, you think to yourself 'hmm, ds/dd hasn't really cried much at all today'. It's early days for both of you...just take each day as it comes. and, although it seems impossible, try to look after yourself as much as you can.

If she really won't stop crying, put her in the pram and go for a walk (prob not best idea at 10pm though!) The noise never seems as bad outside in the open air!

liquidclocks · 11/05/2007 22:00

I'm sorry but that is the biggest load od Cr*p ever even SWMNBN here on MN has a number of feeds at this age close together. OMG, can't believe you were told that - if she's hungry - feed her! on 'first milk' - that's what she needs. She could be crying because of the hungry milk - it artificially tells the body it's full but she's still needing the nutrients - so feeling full but still hungry IYSWIM - how hard for a baby to understand why mummy isn't feeding her. It makes me so that doctors are still giving out this sort of advice here in the UK where we're supposed to be evidence based! grr. sorry for rant.

In short, feed her when she's hungry. If in a few days she still crying excessively then consider the colic/reflux options - start a tread on here if you need more info, there's plenty of people around to help.

liquidclocks · 11/05/2007 22:02

KIskidee - you reminded me - GROWTH SPURT, of course! At this age any baby will eat more - DS's went from around 2-3 oz per feed to 6oz plus more feeds - it's completely normal!

foxybrown · 11/05/2007 22:06

There's a lot of good advice on here, re feeding. I was a bit slack on winding sometimes which made a difference. It might take up to 20 minutes to wind properly sometimes. Or making sure that when you feed she is fairly straight, not in a sitting position. I found old fashioned gripe water helped sometimes.
I really wanted to say I found this time really, really hard. I remember very clearly sobbing in the street when my DS1 was 8 weeks old! But it gets better. It is important that you look after yourself as best you can. You probably aren't sleeping very well, and not eating well will take its toll on you and how you feel you are coping. You need to look after yourself, its very important. Is there anyone who could come and take her for a walk for an hour or so?
Try not to be too hard on yourself and take each day as it comes.

kiskidee · 11/05/2007 22:08

just double checked my link. it said 'sleepy baby' not 'sleep cue'.

ScaryHairy · 11/05/2007 22:09

Maybe also try winding your baby before feeds (as well as after). I found it helped my daughter.

ChocolateFace · 11/05/2007 22:14

If she's crying for a feed, and you're waiting until3 hours is up, she will be taking in wind from crying. What do you do if she wakes for a feed in the night and it's not 3 hurs since the last?

Chocolatepenny · 12/05/2007 08:41

Look after yourself, I'm there too with my 7 week baby boy at the moment.I know it will get better and try to focus on the 'good days'.
Ignore 3 hour advice (I was giiven that too) my baby feeds every 2 hours and he is happier for it. Ignore your DP they don't have the same instincts and can listen to a baby cry while you get mega stressed. You are doing well . Lots of hugs!!

foxybrown · 12/05/2007 15:00

How are you doing today Asampras?

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