I need advice/help/valium?

[apeainapod]

DS2 is 4 in October and right now he is being a complete and utter nightmare. I love the little monster of course I do, but he does nothing but cry. I feel so sad that his little life is so awful for him.

DS1 flew through 2 and 3 now he's nearly 5 and acting like a teenager! But the little man - what the hell do I do. He doesn't want to get dressed, brush his teeth, go to school etc unless we have a huge fight. Before anyone says 'check his diet' - he is avery healthy eater - he has chocolate once a week, which he will sometimes not even bother with. The rest of the week he eats really really well. Everything is homecooked, nothing comes from a packet so no chance of additives etc.. He LOVES fruit and veg. He drinks water, and has a juice once a day.

He is a little live wire, he never sits down for anything. He is very funny and very independent, which is frustrating because he does get his own way a lot. We have tried time out, naughty step etc but nothing seems to work.

Is it an age thing???? If so, for the love of God WHEN will this end? I have read raising boys, what to expect etc but I seem to be rather unsuccessful in helping him.

Any ideas???? .....or do I just resort to valium for the next 16 years?? (I ahve to go now but I shall be abck to check if anyone has any super advice!) Thank you - before I go mad.

Have you tried the pasta jar? It seems to be working for DS who is also 4 and also hates getting ready for school. We have been at it for a month and last Sat was the first time he didn't get his reward. He seemed extra-motivated this morning (it's not a bank holiday in France).
We use it only for getting ready - teeth, clothes or pjs, shoes etc mornings and bedtimes. Pasta if done by 3rd request. Then warning pasta will be removed, count to 3, remove pasta.
Some evenings he is too tired to care about the jar and I have found what works those days is saying 'you look shattered, do you want to be a little baby tonight' and then he cooperates with letting me do everything for him so we get through it without any upset.

I have one of these, a five year old whoose a bugger to get ready and out for school in the morning, plus a 3 month old baby, another gorgeous boy! Not rushing in the morning is what helps us and the TV he is allowed to watch TV to eat his breakfast while I sort the baby then straight after Noddy he knows he has to get dressed, he wants to do most of it himself (Mr Bossy Independent) and I hover and help, which I do most mornings, top shirt button, tucking in etc. His big motivation for getting on with it is a play in the playground before school, even 5 mins does the trick. Plus no after school treat eg: a flapjack, few small sweeties, DVD after school, the park etc. I have also resorted to sitting in the car waiting for his fannying about to stop, he hates this and it gets him moving, I remain silent and calm till he stops and it does work, sometimes it takes longer than others and if we are late we are late, althought not as much any more as he hates going into the playground when it's empty. I also say things like 'oh look next door have just left for school' The more rushed and shouty the worse it becomes, we don't need to leave till 8.35am at the latest but I ensure we are ready by 8.20am, so we have a little time to play with. He does drive me I N S A N E some mornings but the calm, routined, treat approach seems to be working, in fact he was trying to get dressed today! Good luck and I feel your frustration! xx