DS 7's behaviour - doesn't connect things together

[snowsnowsnowsnow]

I could easily be over-thinking this one but I have become increasingly concerned about DS. He seems to think very differently from other children of his age and his behaviour is, well individual!
None of this is odd but if I give a couple of examples that make me concerned:
Last summer he was riding his bike in the garden and went to ride it through a smoking bonfire; DH and I called out not to ride his bike through the bonfire and talked about why. The next day, same bonfire but he had another attempt at doing it was was very surprised and upset that the same rule applied. When we tell him not to do dangerous things and explain why, I now always make sure I add in that this is always and not just now.
He had opened the front door to let the cat out... cat didn't go out... 1/2 hour later I found our other cat inside and asked who had let her in -"not me" came the reply; I then found out the door was open and asked who had opened the door, he said me to let the cat out but she didn't want to go out. He didn't connect his opening door to let the cat out as possibly the same as someone letting the other cat in...

Am I making any sense? There are numerous other examples I could give. School think he is a bit of a dreamer but I am concerned that he doesn't link events together in sequences as others of his age do.

Naturally I love him to bits and wouldn't change him at all - I marvel at how he manages to get 2 + 7 to equal 1... and we are used to how to try to explain things to that he gets it.

Any thoughts please - as I said I am probably over thinking the whole thing

This does sound like a trait of Aspergers OP. A cognitive ridgitity....your DS seems unable to consider alternatives to a given situation and also to be prone to misinterpretation.

Does he socialise well? What are his interests?

thanks cheapSausages yes that is what I think - he cannot transfer information from one situation to the next and will take things very literally - he also will not learn from mistakes - ie. he might be thinking, next time the stove might not burn me as he will touch it again.

He doesn't socialise that well with other boys interestingly enough and has never "fitted in" but gets on well with girls. He seems popular but doesn't fit into the classic "tribes" that exist at school. He wants to play football but doesn't get the rules and does not understand why the other boys get so cross if he breaks one of them. On the other hand, he has to obey rules and feels compelled to share if someone else doesn't - not in a tell-tale way just as he doesn't understand why they don't tidy up when the bell goes.

He also cannot continue with the next instruction until he has finished the first one - eg, clean your teeth and get dressed; he will just clean his teeth and has completely forgotten the second part. Also if you ask him to do something before he has finished first part he completely blocks out your voice.

His interests are bird watching and knows an awful lot of detail; same with minions films, star wars and is showing an interest in rock collecting!

I suppose I am concerned that he is going to fall completely behind at school because he is a good faker and has started being the class clown. He is bright so seems to be getting away with it so far.

I am also really concerned about socialising. He used to be a terrible loser and we struggled hugely in teaching him to share when he was small. This is getting better but he can have enormous meltdowns which we are dealing with by getting him to recognise the amber warning that he is getting cross and to remove himself from the situation.

Sorry I have rambled on for ages

thanks cheapSausages yes that is what I think - he cannot transfer information from one situation to the next and will take things very literally - he also will not learn from mistakes - ie. he might be thinking, next time the stove might not burn me as he will touch it again.

He doesn't socialise that well with other boys interestingly enough and has never "fitted in" but gets on well with girls. He seems popular but doesn't fit into the classic "tribes" that exist at school. He wants to play football but doesn't get the rules and does not understand why the other boys get so cross if he breaks one of them. On the other hand, he has to obey rules and feels compelled to share if someone else doesn't - not in a tell-tale way just as he doesn't understand why they don't tidy up when the bell goes.

He also cannot continue with the next instruction until he has finished the first one - eg, clean your teeth and get dressed; he will just clean his teeth and has completely forgotten the second part. Also if you ask him to do something before he has finished first part he completely blocks out your voice.

His interests are bird watching and knows an awful lot of detail; same with minions films, star wars and is showing an interest in rock collecting!

I suppose I am concerned that he is going to fall completely behind at school because he is a good faker and has started being the class clown. He is bright so seems to be getting away with it so far.

I am also really concerned about socialising. He used to be a terrible loser and we struggled hugely in teaching him to share when he was small. This is getting better but he can have enormous meltdowns which we are dealing with by getting him to recognise the amber warning that he is getting cross and to remove himself from the situation.

Sorry I have rambled on for ages

Some gene variants that cause lower levels of dopamine receptors are associated with a relative lack of ability to learn from mistakes.

If it's possibly a genetic dopamine receptor issue (I personally also have this genetic issue and believe it caused me no end of problems as a teen), it might be worth getting a 23andme test plus promethease to see his full raw data genetic report. If this is the issue, typical asperger's or ADHD treatment, etc. is unlikely to be terribly effective.

It's also worth knowing about because it is commonly associated with a higher risk of developing addictions and substance abuse problems. Just wanted to bring to light a potential issue you may not have heard of before -- I certainly had not before discovering that I had this particular genetic variant. My parents talked about how when I was a child, I "always had to learn things the hard way," rather than taking in reasonable input and understanding the rules the first time I nearly suffered a negative consequence.

womb wow - no that isn't anything I have ever heard of -why not? I am sorry that this isn't further known and discussed. How difficult for you.

I will bear this in mind and keep an eye on him and see how things develop.