New here. Becoming concerned about my adopted 4yr old. Angry a lot, spitting, verbal abuse, clinging, jealous of others getting attention, defiant, naughty at school, always testing boundaries. Having a negative effect on his 2 yr old sister. I think he's starting to come to terms with the reality of being adopted and my partner and I are struggling to deal with it. Finding it hard to always respond with love. We are reluctant to turn to the state at this stage, but would really like some advice from those who have been through this. We've been telling ourselves that this is 'normal' for a four year old but are both starting to wonder lately. Very wary of over-reacting though.