DS attacks DD every time she cries - any tips ?

[bringmeashrubbery]

DS (2.5) has always got upset when DD (1.5) starts crying. Up until now it normally results in him crying as well and we have a cacophany to deal with. He has just realised though that he is now 2 and should be having tantrums, throwing himself on the floor, thrashing about etc. If DD now cries he will lash out at her, and if he gets to her, she cries more, he lashes out...etc etc... I wonder if anyone has any tips for dealing with this ? I am worried he is going to hurt DD if I can't get to her in time, plus I worry about him and why he is actually doing it. Anyone have any similar experience ?

Hi - just wondered if anyone has any experience of this ? DS has just done something to DD while I was out of sight for a moment and she is really crying now. I am afraid he is going to hurt her badly...

Poor you - sounds very upsetting.
Do you think he's realising it's a way to get your attention fast (even if it's negative)?
Could you try involving him in calming her when she's crying? I used to 'ask' ds1 what he thought ds2 was crying about. He used to say 'he needs milk' or 'he needs a cuddle' and was dead proud of himself when I followed his 'orders' and ds2 stopped crying...

Maybe when she cries try to go to ds first and say 'let's go and cuddle dd - she's sad'?

Thanks both - I am starting to try the involvement thing now. At first I was just removing him from the scene and comforting her while he went apeshit in another room. I now try to say look she is crying let's give her a kiss and cuddle etc.