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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Am I too old at 41 to have another baby ?

56 replies

poppy2133 · 18/04/2007 20:07

I had my first baby when I was 38, no problems, now I would like another but I don't know if I'm too old. Any other "older" mums out there ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Jelley · 18/04/2007 20:07

There are loads, and no you are not too old.

DaphneHarvey · 18/04/2007 20:11

No, no, no, no, no - definitely not too old. I had my first at 38, my second 2 weeks before my 41st birthday. I have never regretted it, but my age did provide a useful practical and psychological argument against having a third .

BTW, if this helps, it took 9 months to conceive my first, only 5 for the second.

ejDeedos · 18/04/2007 20:21

Definitely not!

I was 39 when I had my first and 41 when I had my second and have absolutely no regrets.

Nip · 18/04/2007 20:26

no, my aunt was 41 last week and gave birth to a healthly little girl yesterday - all fine

Nonyummymummy · 18/04/2007 20:42

Hi there

I had my DD at 38 too and had DS 3 months ago - I will be 41 in June. I had c-sections with both (emergency for 1st & elective for second) but that had more to do with my lack of ability to deliver large babies than my age. The second pregnancy was more tiring than the first but that is because you have a little person already, no little naps before dinner in the evenings and long lie ins at weekends - those were the days!! But my younger friends, 30 & 35 found exactly the same with their second pregnancies. Go for it - also i concieved much faster second time around as well.

fizzbuzz · 18/04/2007 21:09

I had dd at 42. Much much better when you are older, more patience etc.

Tired though.........

seeker · 18/04/2007 21:11

I had my first at 38 and my second at 43. Go for it! Happy to talk more about being the oldest person on mumsnet if it would help!

KristinaM · 18/04/2007 21:16

poppy - what is it that worries you? your health? the baby's? being able to concieve? having enough energy? ......

LowFatMilkshake · 18/04/2007 21:30

My mum had me at 43 (dad was 52) and she was a fab mum, lots of wisdom and a lots of life experience stiores which I never tired of hearing - A very happy child hood for me

However as a child of an older parent my only concern would be for your LO's when they realise how much of an age gap there is between you and thier friends mums, we lost my dad when I was 6 and I became aware that my mum was much older than others and spent nights crying myself to sleep about what I would do if she ever died.

However:

Your situation will not mirror mine
There are lots more older mums these days
People live longer these day
Your child will not be an only child like I was.

If you feel you can do I would say go for it, older mums are great mum's!

Original poster

poppy2133 · 18/04/2007 21:33

KristinaM - I think it is just that I worry about having a baby with abnormailities due my age - I wouldn't want to have any tests done as I dont think I could have a termination if the results came back indicating a problem.

OP posts:

seeker · 18/04/2007 21:48

Poppy - I felt exactly the same. It is a bit of a gamble, I suppose. I had nuchal scans with both of mine and was given a risk factor thatwas, i suppose, quite high - both less than 250:1. But my thoughts were - well, you wouldn't back a race horse at 250:1, would you? ANd my lovely mother, who was 75 when my dd was born and pushing 80 when ds arrived, said "Well, if you think of a busload of people, less than one of them is going to have a problem at those odds! I'm not worrying any more!" And neither did I. (much).

And having 2 is so much fun - it's wonderful seeing them interact. The moment when dd said "us" and I realized she meant her and her brother, as opposed to her and me was one of the best moments of my life!

LowFatMilkshake · 18/04/2007 21:50

Poppy, my mum refused the test with me. I was'nt planned though . she said I was a gift and you dont give gifts back.

And my dad did'nt think he could have children because of his first wife telling him his epliepsy drug mad him infertile (rubbish)

IdrisTheDragon · 18/04/2007 21:51

My SIL is 16 and was born 2 days before MIL was 44. FIL and MIL are now 60 and often seem to have more energy than DH and I do .

3littlefrogs · 18/04/2007 21:58

No - I had dd at nearly 42. She is wonderful - a real blessing.

sazzybee · 18/04/2007 22:49

My son is 5 weeks old. I'm 42 and didn't have any tests because the odds are high before you even start and I just decided what would be would be. He's fine and the most wonderful thing I've ever done

KristinaM · 18/04/2007 22:52

some people have the tests so they can feel more prepared for any SN their child might have. Not necess to have a termination. But its such a personal thing, I don't think anyone can advise you what to do. You just needs lots of factual information so you can make an informed decision

they can do screening tests that give you a risk factor but not the actual results for your baby IYSWIM ( i hope I am explaining it correctly). the tests that give you a definite result are invasive and carry a risk of mc, so you woudl need to weigh up the various risks

it can be very confusing, because coudl tell you that you have a "high" risk of a child with downs syndrome eg 1 in 250 but also that the test carries a "low" risk" of miscarriage eg 1:50!! ( just giving you an example)

aviatrix · 18/04/2007 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Caroline1852 · 25/04/2007 15:34

I had my DSs when I was 27 and 30 and my DD at 41. I am now expecting a baby in July at the grand old age of 43. Don't feel too old, well not most days. I appreciate motherhood more now than I did in my 20s and 30s..... perhaps just more aware that time passes so quickly so less irritated by the odd bad night!

dionnelorraine · 25/04/2007 15:40

My auntie is early 40s and trying for her 1st. I think that if you are in reasonably good health then why the hell not! I think its a good age! Go for it! Have practising!

dionnelorraine · 25/04/2007 15:41

Oops! Was meant to say, Have FUN practising!!

friendlyedjit · 25/04/2007 15:43

will be 42 soon ( equates to 37 as have gone backwards since 40) and would love another too.... husband not so keen now as thinks we should concentrate on the 3 blessings that we have.. although doesn't mind the practising!

of course risks are greater, and one is older but often pregnancy in older women I'm told is easier for some reason or so it seems!

collision · 25/04/2007 15:45

No you are not too old at all but I am and I am 36!!

Elibean · 25/04/2007 17:47

I had my first at 43 after years and years of hoping and trying

She's three now, and gorgeous. And, amazingly, has a little sister of five months conceived when I was 45 and born when I was 46. I do feel a bit sheepish sometimes, not to mention knackered, but omg I love them to bits.

And have a LOT of fun.

Good luck!

notasheep · 25/04/2007 17:50

poppy-your definately NOT too young-i had dd at 36 and ds at 41

nogoes · 25/04/2007 17:54

You are as young as you feel. I am 34 and feel about 44 so by the time I am 41 I expect I will be well and truly over the hill but if you feel you have it in you then go for it!

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