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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Am I too old at 41 to have another baby ?

56 replies

poppy2133 · 18/04/2007 20:07

I had my first baby when I was 38, no problems, now I would like another but I don't know if I'm too old. Any other "older" mums out there ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Jbck · 25/04/2007 20:04

I'm 42 & pg with my second, DD born when I was 36. We only decided to try again in January, then I was ill, but first time did the trick in February, only took once with DD too so DH thinks he's got super-sperm . I'm aware of the various risks & we'll cross each bridge as we come to it but if you think you'll really regret it if you don't try then go ahead. I was scared in about 5 years time I'd be so sad DD was an only & it'd be too late to do anything about it.

Aloha · 25/04/2007 20:07

Had my first at 38, second at 41. So I'd say no! DD is two now and the most gorgeous bundle of blonde heavenliness. And a complete diva to boot.

Aloha · 25/04/2007 20:09

Oh, and I am not at all the oldest at the school gate with ds and I know older women than me with younger children.

FioFio · 25/04/2007 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

rabbleraiser · 25/04/2007 20:13

There's loads of older mums out there, poppy. Try to remember some of our names so you can chat to us on subsequent threads.

I was 39 when I had my ds (he's now 2.5 and I'm nearing 41). I might have considered another, but my dp has four children from a previous marriage, all mostly grown up now, but it's still a financial burden.

Mother Nature decrees when you're too old. She's the boss.

yogimum · 25/04/2007 20:15

I know lots of older mums, had my first 9 months ago and I'll be 43 this year. Go for it!

sauce · 26/04/2007 04:56

No way are you too old. My friend's twin sister is pg with her 4th & she was 43 last Friday. She's crazy though imo because she's got dd1 who's 3, dds 2&3 who are 18mth old twins & she's already run ragged. She says she's thrilled though so good for her. I don't think I could cope.

puddinghead · 30/01/2009 14:14

Hi, I'm another one! ds1 age 40, ds2 at 41 with a 16 month gap! I wasn't putting it off for a career or anything like that, I just didn't meet dh till I was already 38.

I knew that I wanted another and a sibling for No. 1. We also knew after ds2 that our family was complete and dh went for the snip.

Don't let worries about abnormalities put you off, they could happen at any age. You've said you would like another so go for it!

nomoreamover · 30/01/2009 15:50

All of my clients are 40+ mums and they have fabulous children!

Go for it

LittleWeePickle · 09/02/2009 11:34

I'm 41 - baby #2 is due in less than 4 weeks. DS1 born at age 39.5, there will be a 20 month gap.

Older parents have more solid relationships, have more patience, are better educated (been here longer haven't we?), are more emotionally stable, and have just more sense and empathy etc.

It's great! I want 20 babies, but have toned it down to 10 ... actually, I've toned it down to 2 but don't tell DP

On the downside, I have less energy - but that's more to do with suffering chronic fatigue than parenthood IMO. Had it since age 33 or 34, but it's far better these days.

vickyh69 · 11/01/2010 17:32

at 41 am i to old to have a baby cos im in a new relationship & ive just become a nan?

CaptainUnderpants · 11/01/2010 17:53

I dont think you are too old at 41, my Mum had me at 41 in 1966 , i was youngest of four.

Now when was younger I did feel that my Mum was alot aolder than my friends Mums but in this day and age women are having babies alot later so I really dont think that is an issue today.

I am 44 this year and sometimes it crosses my mind about another one (only for a fleeting second !)but then DH puts a stop it as he is 5 next year.

Good luck whatever you decide .

CaptainUnderpants · 11/01/2010 17:54

No Dh is not 5 next year BUT 50

Saga holidays with kids ?

ShowOfHands · 11/01/2010 17:58

This is an OLD thread!

CaptainUnderpants · 11/01/2010 18:15

Tis a very old thread - how bizarre.

Perhaps Op has had her baby by now

Tee2072 · 11/01/2010 18:26

Come join us at 40 Towers.

saladfingers · 11/01/2010 19:00

Go for it!
DD2 at 40, DS1 at 41 and DS2 at 42.
Although if i'm honest the pregnancies did get harder especially the last 8 weeks but then i had the other DC to look after!
I dont regret it for a minute and feel like i'm the luckiest woman alive to have my healthy babies after i'd lived a lot!
I had relatively high risk of chromosomal abnormalities with DC3 & 4 following nuchal fold scan and combined bloodtest.
The MW who delivered my last told of a lady who had a Downs baby when told the risk was 1:1800 and another who didnt when she was facing a risk of 1:2. so i guess you never can tell unless you get the CVS or amnio

I guess downside is i'll be 70 before they leave home!

JaynieB · 11/01/2010 19:10

Nice to read this, I'm 40 this year and have vague hankerings for another, but at the moment DP is not at all keen, he's 46 and has 2 teenage kids and doesn't want to do it all again!

JoInScotland · 11/01/2010 19:24

I don't understand why women are so concerned (unless you have some sort of serious medical condition).... I mean, my father was 1 month off his 51st birthday when I was born, and no one batted an eyelid. Why would 41 be too old?

Why is it so much more acceptable to be an older father, than to be an older mother?

Tee2072 · 11/01/2010 19:46

Because once you hit 40, JoInScotland, the chances to conceive at all, never mind a healthy baby, decrease. That is scientific fact.

Sperm does not lose its effectiveness ever, so far as I know. Eggs deteriorate.

boilinthebag · 11/01/2010 19:56

My DD was born when I was a month off 21, and my DS when I was 45. So - a 24 year gap. I had no problems getting pregnant in 40s, in fact I did have two 'misses' before he happened, but I am soo glad I went for it. Big sis adores her bro and vv.

saraya · 11/01/2010 20:14

It really does help to hear about there being so mnay women who are ready and willing and indeed able to conceive over 40. I had my two at 37 and 39 and am now trying for a third..dh and i are realistic and will not kill ourselves..if we manage to have another good if not so be it! The science is for real but not all of us get to choose when to have our babies and even for those who do choose it is there right! My only concern is the pressure of having 3 kids with not much of an age gap and that is enough for a parent of any age!
Do what you believe you are up to and trust your instincts..just don't drive yourself mad.!

saraya · 11/01/2010 20:15

sorry re. typos and one silly mistake: their right not there..i do aplogise!

SmileyMylee · 11/01/2010 20:15

Currently pregnant with number 4 and I'm 44, DS 3 was born when I was 41. Got pregnant even though was taking precautions. I certainly feel more tired but the older I get the better mum I think I am as I am more relaxed and don't worry so much about the small stuff.

thecloudhopper · 11/01/2010 21:25

I am taking the point of view of a child with older parents. My mum was 42 having me and although I love my mum dearly there were and still are times I WISH she was younger.
1 When I was little I used to hate having an older mum as I was often teased.
2 I lost lots of people when I was little, Grandadx2 charl -grandmas's second hubby,grandad's second wife, uncle fred and my grandma all before I was 10.
3 I worry as my mum and dad get older about their health etc.

Just a different perspective.

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