DS's lack of friends

[IamAporcupine]

DS is in Y1, he will be 6 in January. He is sweet and caring. Sometimes very quiet and calm, sometimes ultra wild and very emotional. He is quite bright and loves learning.

He has a few friends he plays with but he does not seem to be forming any strong relationships. He gets really excited when we have friends over for playdates but he never gets invited back.

I am not sure what is going on, or how to help him.

Well he's only 6 and I have heard that boys take longer to develop close friendships. They're different to girls in the way they bond.

It's possible he's not got any invitations back because so many parents work full time these days which makes playdates tricky.

Have you spoken about your concerns to his teacher?

Hi, I also have a son in year 1, he’s a young one and isn’t 6 until August. Have you firstly tried speaking to his teacher to see who he plays and what he is like in the class with group activities etc, I’m sure they’ll say he has lots of friends and plays well etc. Maybe the other mums aren’t as proactive in having friends over, I’ve had a few children over and haven’t had invites back even with one of my son’s closest friends, but get on well with the Mum, I just think she works, has 3 children etc and that’s that (although my son does keep asking when he’s going to go over there to play). Are you thinking of doing a little party for his birthday, you may get to chat to the other mums and see what the children are all like together. My son is also close with several girls and we’ve had them over too. Some people are different I guess, maybe try him in a sport like karate or football and see if he makes some friends there that you can have over and vice versa. But try not to worry, as long as he enjoys school I’m sure he’s fine.

I guess I am not really concerned, but this is something that is on my mind from time to time.

I spoke to his Y1 and also reception teachers and they all said that he plays with everyone, and tends to chose his playmates based on the activity rather than the child.
He seems quite happy and has never complained about this. It is just me who wonders.

Did you struggle socially as a child OP? I did and as a result, when my children were smaller, I was quite anxious about their friendships and social ability.

However, I realised it was me projecting.

From what your child's teacher says, your son sounds like my youngest at that age (she's now 9) ...she chose to play with children who were doing something she liked the look of and it's actually a socially skilled child that does that.

DD is now a confident and popular girl with lots of friends.

Not particularly CheapSausagesAndSpam, but DH did (and still does), so I might be over-vigilant