Fussy eater

[emsmum79]

For the best part of a year my LG (now 2.5) has been a really fussy eater- she hasn't eaten meat, any form of sauce, and most vegetables since last year.
She was on 0.4 centile when she was born and crept up to between 9 and 25th centiles, so I did think "oh well, at least she's eating something" and give her a snack after she refused the meal she refused. I just wanted her to grow and develop.
I have flitted between that and "No, that's your dinner. That or nothing" but neither tactic is working and I don't know what to do.
As the year has gone on more and more food has dropped off and there's now barely a meal she'll eat.
She's so bright, funny, meeting all her milestones, sleeps beautifully, full of energy - do deep down I know she's fine but it's driving me insane that her diet is so limited and I just want someone to reassure me that "no, that's your dinner" is okay or that just give her a banana, she'll come around eventually will work.
She eats cereal, bread, cheese, strawberries, bananas, yogurt, pastry, raisins, the occasional chunk of carrot, baked potato, eggy bread, salmon goujons, tuna mayo.
Sorry for crazy long post. Thank you.

Personally I would give her a mixture of food on her plate, some things I know she likes and some that she may not. So a balance between encouraging her to try new things but avoiding the risk that she’ll eat nothing at all that meal and you’ll have to cave in and give her a snack.

I wouldn’t withhold pudding if she hasn’t eaten her main course.

Most importantly, try to stay completely relaxed about it. Act as if you really don’t care what she eats and how much. Otherwise it can develop into a power struggle between the two of you, which ultimately she will win as you can’t force her to eat! Take away her power to upset you by pretending you don’t care either way.

Good luck OP!

Instead of a 'playdate', organise 'meal dates' for your daughter where you meet up with another mum and a child of similar age for a trip to cafe/a picnic/meal at your house. Make sure that the other child is not a fussy eater! Lavish the other child with praise and attention when they eat their food and give your daughter very little attention for being picky. Hopefully she will see the good example being set by the other child and start to eat a bit more.

Thank you. I'm definitely good at pretending I don't care, and sorry if my op didn't make it clear that I always try to give her something she'll like in her meal. It's difficult because there is so little that she likes so she ends up sickening herself of it (ie she ate baked potato most nights as I put it as a 'side' for meals then refused to eat them at all for ages).
Will definitely try a 'meal date'!

Show no anxiety as said above. Very important!

From what you say there's no need to worry about this and it's likely just a normal toddler thing. She's thriving and happy OP and you're worrying because it's your job to worry about everything but she's fine!

A bit of what she likes, a bit of what she might like, a bit of something the same texture as the things she likes and a daring difference. That's what I do with my fussy (ASD) DD almost 3. I also use a plate with separate sections so the wet food doesn't touch the dry foods.

Bread and butter and salad bits in bowls in the middle of the table is a good idea too.

Arranging food in patterns, novel foods like sweet peas you can open and eat the peas or 'funky bananas' which is bananas slices with half a grape on top. Mashed kidney beans in tomato pasta sauce, hidden veg etc. You got this.

Google bento boxes, there's some really good lunch ideas on there, some can also be used as dinners. Lots of fun!

I just wanted to say thank you for the supportive comments and advice! I'm feeling better about her eating, and am focusing more on what she is eating rather than what she's not. I've also become inventive - veggie pancakes are a hit so far!
Thanks again.