How much TV / computer / phone time for 1,year old

[prettyhardnotbeingperfect]

My DS is obsessed. I blame my the grandparents playing him nursery rhymes on their iPad. However he is just as keen to play any type of music on my iphone (with no video, he doesn't realise my phone can do that) He constantly points at my lap top and cries when I don't get it for him. Daddy showed him you tube.

He's not so into TV apart from turning it off and on again. But the phone obsession is hours a day in chunks when he can get mine or daddy's. I think prob 3 hours a day I cannot even look a my phone at all or take a photo.

So Grandma says it's all educational but I'm not sure ? What does your Dc view per day?

It is NOT educational. It is an education killer if anything when he is 1.
Reading a book is educational. Hooking him on the fast pace electronics will shorten his attention span and all studies show it also lowers vocabulary compared to human interactions.
So hide the phones and laptop when he is around and ask the Grandparents to read a couple of books on the subject and then make an informed choice on wha his better for their grandchild.
I-Minds and growing up social are a good starting point.
Your DS needs to interact with human not a screen and explore the real world. He also will benefit from using his own imagination and creativity than tapping on options created by someone in a fancy office.
Life is not always fast paced. No school lesson will be as entertaining as any app and he risks losing interest because he can't focus long enough.
A time spent on screens is time robbed from books. And a love of books is the best educational gift you can give your DS

I agree but in reality all children are going to have some screen time either computer or TV . Pre 1 he didn't really as wasn't interested. He does read as in get the books out himself and look at them .I read to him throughout the day. We have lots of books.

He doesn't use apps just likes music and music videos ( nursery rhymes etc not MTV !)

Was wondering what amount of screen time other children have? I'd be very surprised if it's zero.

My DS is an older toddler but screens are like crack to him and I have to limit it otherwise he'd watch for hours and hours. We got the point he was starting to try steal my phone to get onto youtube and he'd be nagging me all day so we went cold turkey for a bit (including hiding away my phone completely!). As a result he's stopped harassing me and we've massively cut back on screen time - this week he has had a about four 15-20 min stints with my phone when I've needed him distracted (with the best will in the world I haven't got all day to sit and read books with him) and no TV.

A 'bad' day would be 1-2 hours of screens - this was starting to happen daily when I had a few weeks at home with him and baby full time, which was the point we went cold turkey for a bit.

I hadn't thought about it until now but his behaviour was terrible during that period - may have been unrelated but makes me wonder...

My 8 month old has a few minutes here and there playing on a phone with one of us (so there is still human interaction and chat even then), she's already too interested to have no screen time. She watches about 20 mins tv a day max, usually less. I think it's about balance, as long as the screen time isn't replacing reading/ physical exercise/ music/ play/ outdoor time, it's still learning about life. Their generation are going to be more technology oriented than ours after all. 3 hours is a lot though I'd say, can you use a countdown to limit it down to smaller chunks then distract him onto another liked activity instead?

It’s about balance I think. My 2 yr old dd watches quite a bit in the morning while I get us ready to leave the house, I also have a 4m old so without it it would honestly take forever. However we go out every morning without fail, soft play, the park, library, shops, looking for squirrels, feeding the birds, jumping in puddles, play dates, playgroups, music classes, etc etc. We come back for her nap and then play at home in the afternoon,I normally put it on for half an hour when I’m making her dinner too.
She was talking in sentences at 22m, plays imaginatively with her toys, loved her bedtime stories and is good socially etc so I’m not too worried although I definitely do get the guilt sometimes. As with everything!

Also I notice OP says her 1yo is mostly using the phone to listen to music - I don't see how that is wildly different to one of those v tech style toys that plays a tune when you hit a button.

My DS loves nursery rhymes and 'educational' songs - his knowledge of letters, colours, shapes and numbers is in part thanks to repeat viewing of things like 'Little Baby Bum'.

*My DS is obsessed.
......
He constantly points at my lap top and cries when I don't get it for him.
......
the phone obsession is hours a day in chunks
..... I think prob 3 hours a day *

Of course very few kids are screen free but what the OP describes is an obsession info an addiction.
There are many studies, including on the famous baby einstein series that shows that learning though screens is below learning real life. Also, there is a lot of animation, cheering, exciting lights , sounds, compliments which are not real.
The effect on the shortening of attention span and focus capability have been proved again and again.
Kids and toddler end up not being able to cope with empty chunks of time, from queuing, restaurants, ..... Boredom is the key to developing imagination.
I would recommend a cold turkey week when all screens in all houses are hidden and the tv switched off. This will help first assess how dependant of electronic this baby boy is and help put strategies to do alternative activities.

If he likes music then why can't you just have the radio on whilst he plays with toys?

One of the baby books I read (written by a paediatrician) said no screen time until after the age of 2...

Three hours is an awful lot. If you think how much they sleep at that age, it's possibly a quarter or more of his awake time.

I'm not madly anti screens at all - both mine (3 and 1) have a bit here and there. But not everyday. And never, ever anywhere near three hours. On a bad day or in the early days after DD2 arrived it might be as much as an hour, but that's unusual and typically would be much less than that.

In your shoes I think I'd be going cold turkey, and telling the grandparents they had to, too.

At 1yo we only let DDs look at a phone if they had to be distracted for a few minutes (eg resisting nappy change, crying on the bus or watching sibling nativity play) and for a few minutes at a time. They weren't interested in TV till at least 18 months

Mostly my DS is listening to music on my phone - nursery rhymes I've downloaded, so not chart stuff. No videos, no animations, he can see the still album cover mostly in my phone. He will often do the actions for songs e.g wind the bobbin up/ heads shoulders knees & toes, 5 little ducks etc. He can change song himself etc.

We have the radio at some point in day usually classical stuff.

Just because he cries and points at my laptop does not mean he gets it.

Yes sometimes grandparents or Daddy play him you tube nursery rhymes. He loves this and if course wants more. But he is interacting with them, they are searching videos, talking to him. He is not sitting in front of screen for hours like a zombie. They don't play those hour long ones, it's a few of the individual songs.

DS is not interested in Tv at the mo. So he doesn't watch any kids or normal TV, as I don't have it on.

DS is bang on his milestones, no concerns.

I was just trying to gauge what other people's DC have in terms of screen time.

I am happy for him to have some screen time pre 2. As you tube is something he really likes of course he will want it more going forward. TBH he only likes familiar songs at the mo.

Sadly I feel really judged, but it's my own fault I obviously wasn't clear enough. I meant obsessed in a light hearted way as in super keen

Please don't feel judged. I think sometimes people can't always see everything going on and only pick out what they want to.

We don't do the phone or laptop thing but my 3yo watches movies on tv. He watches one a day, sometimes two. Usually Disney or Pixar animation ones. He is an extremely active little boy and this focuses some down time. We still play lego or cars, build forts and read books etc while they're on and I'm fine with it. He is any thing but sedentary.

Just to add, pre one we always had the tv on in the background, as I think you will find happens In a lot of households, just as background noise a lot of the time. Usually CBeebies, he only actually paid any attention to mr tumble!!

OMG this infuriates me and I seem to be on a roll this morning. If you let him have a sip of your wine and he screamed for more would you let him??? No! Stop letting children control what you give them!! We all grew up without this dort of technology. It is not necessary at this age. Yes the world is becoming a technology led world but children are at school long enough to learn about that. There's a reason children are at home for the first few years before they are dumped at nursery. Sit on the floor and do a jigsaw. Read a book. Play a game ffs. What's so important that you can't spend your child's waking hours investing in their life for? I echo someone above- children need to know how to be bored and to cope with empty time.
A baby does NOT need to be handed a phone to be distracted from resisting a nappy change. How about a book. A toy. A tickle. A few words or facial expressions.
An 8 month old is too "attached to have no screen time?" God help us. How the hell did we manage before? If a person is old enough to use a phone etc they should be in nappies. And if they are in a nappy they should not be using a phone.

Just what good do you think this is doing to your child?

And don't blame the grandparents, this is your child. If the grandparents fed him hash brownies wwyd? Hmm you might just take control of your own child's future. Don't pass the buck, unless they are raising him.

Oh get a life bramblina. Sounds like you need a hash brownie tbh

When YouTube makes my little one a genius you’ll be sorry ha ha ha ha