(almost) 6 year old still peeing himself during day

[LHaggarty]

My first post and I hope you can help with some advice...!
My (almost ) 6 year old is still wetting himself during the day. He's generally ok whilst at school (bar a couple of small accidents) but at home, out and about and when he's playing at friends, he frequently wets himself. He is mostly ok at nights if we lift him before we go to bed and ban any drinks after 6pm.
When he wets himself he doesn't seem too bothered and will happily continue to play until I remove him to get changed. Even when he's asked frequently if he needs the toilet he will continue to say no but then minutes later wet himself. He gets quite frustrated when I ask him if he needs to go to the loo and will shout at me that he doesn't need. I feel like I'm pressurising him to go to the toilet when he might not need it I'm paranoid about him peeing himself if I don't! We never leave the house with anything less than 2 changes of pants and trousers!
We've been to docs who prescribed a cream as doc thought his willy was a bit red at end but that's now done and the peeing still happening!
Any help and advice would be so appreciated!!

No advice but in the same boat with my nearly 6 year old twins. Just got referred to the bowel and bladder service ( aka incontinence clinic ! ) with the one that is worst although since referral they have swopped !

It is so stressful, wondering what I'm doing wrong that's not working for him!
Trying a timer on my phone currently but can only do this when I'm with him and not when he's at school obviously. Setting it so he tries to pee every 45 mins. Trying to make it a bit of a game! Will let you know if it works! 🤞🏻

Bumping because my 6 yo DD1 is like this. She refuses to use the toilet. She wets herself almost daily. Then she tries to hide the fact that she has wet herself. Which, admittedly, means that she cares that it happens. The problem is every way we try to help her she refuses to engage with. I spend half my life washing things she's weed on. If I tell her to go to the loo and try, she digs her heels in and refuses to do it. This refusal is also influencing my younger two who are now starting to do similar. I am at my wits end tbh. Help and sympa thy, please?

Feeling your pain! My son does the same and gets angry when I constantly ask him to go to the loo. He doesn't care if he's wet and playing in company, totally paranoid when he goes for a play date at one of his friends houses. Wondering whether another trip to GP might be needed!

For us, I don't think DD cares for herself. She cares because she thinks DH and I will be cross. We have tried everything we can think of and she won't do it. So we do get cross. We're only human. And of course that's not effective. It is so frustrating.

It is so hard not to get angry and upset with them. My son hides it and will run away from me when I try to check if he's wet. He obviously knows he shouldn't be wet but still doesn't care. Doesn't even seem bothered when his friends tell him he's wet. Partly I think he's so absorbed by whatever game he's playing he doesn't want to leave to go to loo but also partly I think he doesn't think it's a big issue therefore doesn't care that much. It is good to know we are not alone with these toileting challenges! I often think when I see friends kids who are (sometimes) 2 or 3 years younger and fully toilet trained that I feel a bit jealous with how easy their child has gotten it. Then I feel bad cause it's not my son's fault either that he struggles with it. Guess I need to remember that every child is different.
then I also wonder, did we push him to be toilet trained too young? (Started when he was nearly 3). Maybe we've put him off as he found it so difficult! (Parental guilt I'm sure but you do question yourself all the time in case it's something you've done!)

I have 3 children. DD1 is the eldest. DD2 is amazing when it comes to the toilet. She listens to her body, she goes and calls me to wipe her. DS is 3 so still learning but is still making the effort.

I worry about having pushed it too early as well. DS was a preemie newborn (only a month early but still) and I needed DD to go to nursery because I was struggling. The nursery was quite strict about toilet training too and I had to do it myself before she started.

I am also glad to know I am not alone. It is calming.