9 year old controlling behaviour and sibling issues

[Busymummy50]

My 9 year old son was 5 when his sibling arrived so very much used to lots of attention. The last few years I 5hink he's been finding it difficult that his sister seems to get more attention than he does.

He is not as sociable as she is and she listens and behaves a lot better. He has started to be really horrible to her. Calling her names, putting her down, pushing her etc

We are at the point where we are so stressed and frustrated that we find ourselves constantly telling him off.

Any tips on how o can deal with this and help him to stop being horrible to his sister without actually punishing him, which I think could make it worse?

Have you tried setting aside set times with your children, like an hour with one child, an hour with the other where they have your constant attention for that time. Also have you calmly spoken to your 9yo? Old enough to understand what they're doing is wrong.