Losing my mind - moaning and talking

[Heebejeebees]

My daughter is 5. She does not stop talking and shouting... pretty much ever, unless its first thing in the morning and she's thawing out. She also wont go to bed before 9.30pm usually. Up/Down millions of times from 7pm - never still, never shuts up.
I'm losing my mind. I'm a quiet person. I cannot cope. I've tried explaining she has 2 ears, 1 mouth, I've tried explaining to her that its good to be quiet sometimes, and not all people can cope with chatter and shouting. She also moans about everything. If I offered her chocolate, she'd moan it wasn't ice-cream. I'm struggling so so much and I do not know how to cope with how she is. I do hope this is a behavioral stop gap, and not her personality. For context I have a 3 year old boy and he's not like this at all. Anyone else experienced the same? I feel like Im going in sane and starting to dislike her.

If my 5yo whines I always tell her and ask her to rephrase what she is trying to say to something more positive and which sounds less annoying. My DDs don't like going to bed but are better now as I put a audiobook on the iPod so they have something to listen to before bed, if you are near a library then you can usually borrow children's cd's for free, my parents also did this for me as a child.

Is she tired? My DS is 4 and goes to bed at 8pm as any earlier and he either hurtles around until late or is up at 5am (I do not do 5am!).

Talking all the time is common. We've found that it we actively talk to DS we can then tell him that he has to be quiet at other times but goldfish memory on this is common so it can be broken record like from us.

Sorry to say my 5yo dd is the same, it's like she has constant pmt, the endless taking, winging, moaning is soul destroying and I life for 7.30pm
She does actually stay in bed though once upstairs, could you not move her bedtime to 8 so less likely to want to keep coming down stairs?
I had to move my dd's bedtime to 8 as at 7 she'd just keep finding an excuse to come down, water, wee, lights, hungry it went on and on.