How to help 16 month old

[Daffodils07]

My dd is just coming up to 16 months, she hardly eats and when she does it takes her an hour to eat half a piece of toast, she is just not interested in food.
I never make it a big deal and just offer her different foods during the day.
She is very tiny for her age 18lb, and in 6-9 month clothes.
She doesn't sleep for more then an hour at a time at night, has one 20 mins sleep during the day (has always been like that).
Still breastfeeding, she won't drink out of bottles or beakers.
She hates people (always been this way) anyone looking at her will set her off screaming.
Which is hard work when we go to toddler groups as she won't leave my side and I have a two year old to try and chase after as well.
Any one that goes near her (apart from me,her dad and siblings) she will literally sob.
I'm tiered, and just don't know how I can help her sleep better.
Be more happier around people, she can not say anything at all other then make a grunt noise so she is probably frustrated.
I dearly love her but she is very high needs.

Have you spoken to your Health Visitor about the issues? Could she have a tongue tie I wonder? The first thing to do OP, is to see the GP or Health visitor about these issues.

If the HV is a bit wishy washy...and mentions "Waiting and seeing" or anything, make a GP appointment and ask to see the community pediatrician about the issues.

She does sound small but then some babies are. It's worrying I know...better to get seen and find out if there's anything causing her to not eat properly.

She has had a speech therapist out about her eating (to see if there was any reason why she wouldn't eat) doesn't seem to be anything that would stop her.
I'll pop in to the baby clinc and ask next week to see if there is anything else they can suggest.
Just thought I'd ask on here to see if anyone has been through the same.
Thanks user :)

If you are finding it hard to keep up with the 2 year old and she wants to be with you, have you got one of those baby hip seats? I found mine really useful at that age. My DS used to get anxious at playgroup. Turning up early seemed to help.

When you say she's small, has she been tracking her centiles?

If she's not talking can she follow simple instructions?

Tongue tie struck me too. My DS took ages to get the hang of solids and woke constantly too. I'd get her check out by someone experienced in tongue tie. He also could drink out of any cup that he had to suck but could manage an open cup.

Will she let you spoon feed her?

You might find it helpful to meet other mums breastfeeding a toddler. Do you have a local LLL group near you? sometimes children that avoid food can have undiagnosed allergies. By being able to breastfeed freely the child is able to meet its nutritional needs while the body gets a bit stronger to deal with the allergens.

Speech therapist said she couldn't see any tounge tie.
I will look into a hip seat, we were using a wrap but a bit restricted for her age now.
Will look into breast feeding groups, I know no one who has fed beyond 6 months so have no one to really talk to about bf so maybe helpfull.
She understands most things I ask her, like where's the baby, show mummy shoes etc.
She will take from a spoon but only a few mouth fulls and then shuts her mouth tight.
She has dropped a bit on the weight centiles but has always been on the small side.

Might be worth getting a second opinion on the tt, unfortunately lots of HCPs don't know what they are looking for.

There's a good Facebook group called breastfeeding older babies and beyond. You may be able to get some help from that

I'm not on fb, perhaps there's a forum I can find instead?
And I'll get another opinion on the tounge tie, thanks.

She may have either a tongue or a lip tie. I've heard it is quite common that these are missed, even when someone has checked. Are you bf-ing her in the night when she wakes?

Sorry, cross post!

Yes she still bf during the night, although I have managed to cut it down to every other time she wakes up instead of every hour.

Try the lll forum or the MN Bfing forum and yiu can find details of your nearest LLL here HTH

In addition to getting her tongue/lip checked, personally, I would night wean at this stage, in the hope of seeing an improvement in her sleep, mood, and appetite for solids by day.

I'm not saying that's the only issue, but you must both be knackered

If you are thinking of night weaning, I've heard the Jack Goodman methid on MN lots of times. It's not recommended until they are 12 months though.

In the meantime, you could try sone of the 12 alternatives for the all night nurser.

I have tried weaning her before, but she is stubborn and will cry for hours and this is after a few weeks of doing it.
I have managed to drop some of the feeds she was having a night so about every other time she wakes up.
I am looking into trying again but we are away in two weeks and more importantly my son has his gsce's in the next few weeks so don't won't to let her scream and wake him up.
Her sleep needs to be sorted out I totally agree, and when the exams and holiday are over hopefully I can really focus on getting dd to sleep at least for most of the night.
I will be certainly looking into the jack Goodman method.
Thank you all for taking the time to reply