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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Mums of boys ....help!

16 replies

McDreamy · 11/03/2007 09:04

My DS (20 months) has become soooo unbelievably clingy. Is this a normal stage of development?

I have the Steve Biddulph (SP!) but I live in Cyprus and it has been left in the UK and I can't remember what he said.

I do remember DD going through clingy stages but not like this.

How do I handle it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sunnywong · 11/03/2007 09:06

shake your leg vigorously and tell them emphatically that you Have A Life and they must Bog Off

Original poster

McDreamy · 11/03/2007 09:06

Feel like saying that most days but I'm not sure that's the best plan of action

OP posts:

sunnywong · 11/03/2007 09:07

oh, but it is, believe me

Original poster

McDreamy · 11/03/2007 09:08

OP posts:

tatt · 11/03/2007 09:09

it's normal. You were lucky with your girl. Any change in his life (like parent being away more/ other child starting school) that may have set him off? If you need to leave him tell him where you are going and why. If you can identify a change talk to him about it. It will pass.

honeybrown · 11/03/2007 09:11

Oh yes! I have my very own limpet too - but hang on to the fact that in 13 years time he's unlikely to even acknowledge my existence!!!

Original poster

McDreamy · 11/03/2007 09:19

Yes there is a big change for him at the moment as his daddy is on detatchemnt but this clingyness developed about 6 weeks after he left.

I never have to leave him much at all, the clingyness is as bad in the house, leaving the room, sometimes I feel like I can't even go to the toilet (obviously I do)

OP posts:

Original poster

McDreamy · 11/03/2007 09:19

Good to know it's normal though - thanks

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stressteddy · 11/03/2007 09:23

Mcdeamy, I know the grass is always greener....but I would love for my ds to be clingy. He doesn't seem to care whether I'm around or not. He never has. He always wants Daddy and it sometimes breaks my heart.
Shall we swap babas for a couple of days???

sanae · 11/03/2007 13:35

My son was very clingy when younger but he is 9 now and quite independent. The "problem" will gradually get better as he gets older and used to detaching, playgroup, school, play dates etc. Enjoy it whilst he is little! I can assure you it will sort itself out.

deaconblue · 11/03/2007 14:21

I seem to remember the Steve Biddulph book saying exactly that. Ds is 10 months and has just started clinginess. When dh holds him he reaches for me. I take him and then hand him straight back as I think he needs to learn to be with people other than me.

Original poster

McDreamy · 11/03/2007 14:35

Stressteddy I can imagine it must be heartbreaking .

I suppose in some ways I don't mind the clingyness but I am a bit concerned that if I give into him all of the time he will never learn to become independant of me.

OP posts:

tatt · 12/03/2007 15:49

when the children go on school trips it is usually the boys who cling to their mother before they get on the coach. One even cried when he was about 8 .

With his father away your son will be a bit worried you're going to go away too. If he can "talk" to his father on the phone it may help a little.

MrsFish · 16/03/2007 18:26

My ds son is 20 mths too and has become incredibly clingy over the past 2 weeks, I'm hoping it is just a phase

N1A · 23/03/2007 00:09

my ds is 2.5 yrs...he has gone thu phases of clinginess....personally it doesnt bother me so much, atleast i dont see it as a life and death issue....i perceive it more as lack of maturity....but society seem to care a lot about it...lately i have been having a bit of rough luck with him settling in nursry....
they are pressuring us abt his clingyness....
have been reading lot about seperation anxiety in children (posh word)...
we just do things like "together times"_ where we have some quality time together...and then we do "seperate times" where i encourage him to do something on his own while i do something else.....its still a work in progress at home...hope it makes a difference in the long run

well i am sure its a phase and it will pass...but iam more frustrated at society/community like nurseries etc who just want all children to be alike so they can just apply one universal rule and tackle everything in the same manner....i say chuck the rigidity....be flexible, use lot of cards like distraction, imagiantion, asertiveness, praises, cuddles, fun times, reassurances....even when all of this fails dont let the dissappointment or frustration show....in my personal exp my ds is clingy when he is unsure/worried/anxious abt things...when i am frustrated at his clinginess he get more unsure and anxious therefore more clingy....

kitbit · 24/03/2007 21:00

yep, my ds is just over 2yrs and currently going through a "mummy" phase again! They come and go. Usually coincide with a growth spurt, actually. This one has been going on for about 2 weeks so far, it usually lasts a few of weeks then passes. We try to go with it as we don't see a reason to unduly distress him and also we are lucky enough to be flexible in our work environment to be able to accommodate home changes more easily than most. We also find he wants to cosleep more often during a clingy phase and this seems to help him get through it more quickly.

Not sure I've helped other than to say it's normal and it will pass!

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