What would you do?

[Asuitablemum]

Went shopping (to one shop) with son who needed to try something on. He is nearly 5.5. He is not good at clothes/shoe shopping. Anyway I was a bit exasperatedly asking him to tell me if it was comfortable or not and out of the blue he hit me on the shoulder. Obviously just lost control. It is unusual for him to act like this, although not a complete first. He did apologise etc. I just wondered what mumsnet would think would have been the correct reaction from me? And also will he grow out of it or is the start of this behaviour?

Best thing, stay calm. If its unusual just ask him calmly but firmly to appologise and that its not nice to hit. If it becomes more frequent try a reward chart etc or a time out or naughty step of some kind :) just stay calm because if you get stressed he will too!

Mmm I did stay calmish but told him firmly in a loud voice that hitting was not acceptable. Then I walked off a bit and did something else. Then he apologised and told him why it's not OK in a bit of a lecture. Then gave him and small punishment. Removal of privilege. Not sure if I over or under reacted.

No that seems perfect enough to me! He needs to understand that it wont get him his own way or what he wants and that if he behaves good he will be rewarded, if not he will be moaned at and not get a sweetie at the end haha! Have you tried giving him an insentive to go? Like say if he behaves you will take him for ice cream or to the park etc and if he behaves then go if he doesnt then he doesnt get to... if that makes sense? Or if he really doesnt like it make a fun day of it, instead of taking him for clothes, let him take you and pick clothes for you to try on and make a silly dress up day about it? He might enjoy it a bit more and see that shopping can be great!

Ah thanks. Think I'd enjoy that day out shopping but really don't think he would! I think I need to go first thing in the morning when he's fresh and the store is empty. I was quite shocked by the hit though-do lots of 5 yo occasionally hit parents in anger? He did as a toddler.

Might be worth a try? Get him on a good day he might surprise you :) its normal, kids get frustrated and have no other way to vent their anger unless you give them alternatives :) my 20 month old son is starting to get violent with hitting in frustration so getting it out the way now! His tantrums are usually going food shopping or because he has to get out the bath! So he now gets out the bath if he is brushing his teeth when he comes out (he absolutly loves his toothbrush!!) And if we go food shopping, he helps and picks up something he wants as a treat at the end no bother! Hope it works out! If he struggles more with the hitting maybe suggest he write down whats making him angry everyday instead of lashing out and put it in a box then at the end of every day you read them together calmly and let him explain to you what he wrote and why? He will then think he is being listened to which will strengthen the bond and alliw him to vent in a more realistic and sensible way. You might notice a pattern and then consider ways to prevent it :). Wish you luck! Best to nip it in the bud now though hun :)

Thanks so much for the tips. I might try the writing it down idea, I think he may like that.

No problem chick :) hope it works!