Difficult eating

[Ponderingprivately]

Ds is 19 months. It's know it's a common problem but dd1 was never like it so new experience for me. He eats breakfast no problem.
Lunch and dinner can be anyone's guess. Today I served ham, cheese, toast and cherry tomatoes for lunch. Ds screamed and wouldn't eat it. I put him for nap first incase he was too tired. He was the same afterwards but eventually around 2pm at the cheese and a few crackers.
Dinner he had rice, salmon and peas. He had this yesterday and wolfed it down. Today he screamed, pushed the bowl and wouldn't eat it. I did what I have read on here and gave him his dessert, yoghurt, anyway. He refused the meal when I reoffered it later. I have given him a bit of dry cereal before bed as I feel bad about a little one so young going without any food before bed.
I have remained calm at every meal but this happens so often I don't know when he's going to lose it or just eat it. I feel super stressed leading up to every meal. What's a good approach?

It's fine for a child not to eat for a few days as long as they drink and have wet nappies. When they're older, it's STILL fine. All children...especially small ones, go through phases and stages or not eating much or fussing about things they liked previously.

Don't let him see you get invested in it. If he doesn't eat it, take it away and wait a while before offering something else.

Mine both liked 6 small meals a day when they were toddlers instead of 3 main meals plus snacks. I think many people over feed them thinking they need far more than they do.

Play it by ear. If he eats a big breakfast, leave it till' lunchtime to offer something else and don't fret if he leaves it.

All good advice. Also, could he be teething? I had DS2 on baby porridge and soft foods for months when he was teething, because it was all he would eat.

Agree Jonesy. Our LO (nearly 2) is a very picky eater, she'll have breakfast but will take no more of a sniff at lots of other things I try on her, and is a slim child. She does still drink a lot of milk and take a multivitamin though so I'm not worried atm. I'm told she eats at nursery.

Things will have to change after her 2nd birthday though!

Thank you for your ideas. I'm trying very hard not to let him see that I care!!
He has had his all 16 teeth for ages so I don't think it's that unless it's a v early appearance of 2nd year molars. I'll have a look anyway!
Yesterday went badly anyway as his lunch ended up so late I guess he didn't have enough time to get hungry before dinner. Today is another day of having food thrown on the floor

Do you sit and eat with him? I found that this is the best way to engage them...sit down and eat at the same time. The same food.

How much milk does he drink?

Lola he doesn't drink any milk. He has hated it from the point of weaning and it's always been a struggle. I never used to worry because he ate well and I had plenty of calcium in his diet but now I wish he drank it.
I do eat with the children for breakfast and lunch but tend to eat dinner later as I'm not hungry at 5.30.