Potty training - Does my 2.5 year old actually hate me!?

[fumingbird]

My dd has been potty training this week, doing well when she has nothing on her bottom half, lots of accidents when in pants/clothes, anyway, today I told her off for slamming a door in my face and started to sit her down for time out , she was wearing trousers at this point, I was talking to her and she looked like she was straining then ran off up the stairs, trousers soaking wet! So I got her and started to strip her off to sit on the potty, with her wriggling and making it difficult, just as I got her trousers off she bent her knees and very purposely squeezed out a big wee all over the floor - think crazy eyes in the first season of orange is the new black!
I have to admit I cried at this point, I feel like she is naughty for me and behaves for her dad and others, I actually thought 'she hates me'. I know she doesn't. Bit she is so. Bloody. Defiant I think it's going to break me. I suppose I'm just posting to see if anyone has any tips, re potty training or how to deal with toddlers who really don't give a shit!

Ok, well first of all and she doesn't hate you at all. You need to separate the potty training from deliberately weeing on the floor - she did that because at the moment, weeing is gaining attention in whatever form and she wanted your attention. So once she'd been told off she wanted more of your attention rather than for you to walk away, which is why she deliberately went for a wee on the floor. Quite clever really! But frustrating all the same.

Hang in there, she'll get it and it'll be over. I know how difficult it is though, my 4 year old
is confident now but there was a time when I thought he'd never get it. Honestly, don't pay any attention to accidents and she'll soon stop using it as an attention strategy, and yep I know that's much harder than it sounds but it was the only thing that worked for us. Good luck! You're doing all the right things

She doesn't hate you, she's just worked out a nifty way for getting back at you if you annoy her.

If things are getting really fraught it is OK to stop for a bit. I tried a few times on and off from 18 months on. When my DC turned three I told them 'You need to be out of diapers when you start pre-school because it would really help the teacher'. DH flat out bribed them. They were done with diapers in a day. That weekend they were cruising around in the battery powered Cadillac Escalade toy car DH bought them. TBH with what we saved in diapers that thing paid for itself in no time.

They were tall enough and coordinated enough to use the toilet with one of those portable padded seats so we didn't have to faff around with potties - so much easier.

Thank you for your replies, coffee, I feel like she is clever, too clever, like she actually outwits me! themysterious she was given a reward today pre incident for doing really well, so maybe she thought "I've had my chocolate buttons I can do what I want" maybe I'll try a cadillac