3 year old boy hits younger children

[kirsteycarpet]

Hi everyone. THis is the first time i have posted but desparately need some advice on how to handle my 3 year old little boy's behaviour. We can be anywhere (today it was a shop). He went up to a child (about 2) in a buggy and hit them. Then went up to a baby in a pram and shouted wake up. If we are at an activity centre for instance he will just walk up to a toddler and knock them over. I have tried confiscating things, taking him home straight away (if he is doing something nice). There is no trigger for him to do it. We could be in any random situation. ANy ideas what triggers it? I have just had a baby (1 week old) but this has been going on for the past year so before I became pregnant.

i would take a buggy with me, if out shopping and if he does it just say "no hitting" and put him straight into the buggy ith the least amount of fuss possible,.
at soft play or wherever I would say "no" to whatever it is he's doing and then take him out.

he has to learn that he gets no attention, just removed from the situation if he does it

I second what hairy says - in the buggy, remove him and let him see it's as a consequence for his actions - calm but very consistent will get results in the end.

It's difficult to maintain that with this sort of thing as it can be socially toe-curling if your child hits another, but it won't go on forever. With kids this age it does sometimes mean that you have to say things again, and again, and again before you get results but it will happen.

Away from the heat of the moment I would talk to him about WHY we don't hit, how it feels to him if someone were to hit him etc...it's worth having these sorts of conversations on an on-going basis.

Does he go to pre-school or nursery?

Hi! My daughter went through that stage when she had her baby sister. It started when I was pregnant and got really bad towards the end, and for a few weeks afterwards too. She was into pushing, and like your son she just randomly pushed other children over. I just took the tactic of telling her off once and giving her a warning that if she did it again, we'd go home and then making sure I really did go home! She is miles better now (her sister is now 12 weeks) but we do still have the occassional push, but eventually she got fed up of being taken home all the time and it subsided. HTH

I agree with quickly and quietly putting him in a buggy. He is attention seeking - perversely if you punish him you are giving him exactly the attention he craves.

Remember to give him lots of praise when he is behaving well - don't leave him playing quietly at home for too long - go and tell him he's being a good boy.

He is old enough to understand that he must not hit other children - younger or not. Next time you take him to an activity centre watch him like a hawk and remove him immediately if he hits anyone.

The new baby won't help matters as he will inevitably now feel jealous of that, too. Be very careful about leaving him alone with the baby - I was once at a friend's house and the minute she went out of the room to make a coffee her dd aged 4 poked her 2 wk old baby really hard in the eye.