Ds just won't leave me alone- ever. Do you have a similar dc, did they change?

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Megglevache · 26/02/2007 21:43

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karabiner · 26/02/2007 21:53

hi megglevache

i could have written your post - my DS just wants to be in the same room as us all the time. This afternoon we played a game in the living room, then I said I was going to cook dinner.So he carried all his stuff into the kitchen. DS is 4.3 and to be honest I am still waiting for him to play alone. He can do so, but just wants to be with me or DH.

I would love to hear how others deal with it.

DS has got a lot better at us doing different things,and we have regular 10 minutes of everyone doing something like tidying up etc then coming together again. He is getting used to that.However just follows us around.

Original poster

Megglevache · 26/02/2007 21:54

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colditz · 26/02/2007 21:56

Mither him for attention, cuddles, and fuss and games, for about 1/2 hour naer the start of the day. this might set him up for a bit?

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Megglevache · 26/02/2007 21:57

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Callmemadam · 26/02/2007 22:25

Hi - I have had four and the eldest ds is now 16, and IMHO most children go into this phase and they ALL come out the other side . It seems tough at the time, but the less you worry about your clingon clinging the quicker he will get through it. All mine did it, some more than others, but it IS a phase, and he will grow out of it, so don't worry.

colditz · 26/02/2007 23:40

I find the more I try to distract ds1 onto an activity without me, the more he trails around under my feet.

But if I totally smother him for 10 minutes ish, then say that it's time for me to do something, and when I have finished we can play again, but he must let me do it on my own by myself, it usually works.

he is older, but he does had the spech of the average nearly 3 year old, despite him being nearly 4. I can't remember if he would have understood it a year ago though.

whatkatydidntdo · 26/02/2007 23:48

my DS is exactly the same. He just wants to be with me all the time, always has since birth really. He is 6 now and hated toddler groups etc and would sit on my foot with his arms around my leg!

He goes to school now and is fine there but given the choice of me or daddy doing something he always wants me and if I go out he gets quite tearful and makes me promise to come up to kiss him the minute I get back in (even though he is asleep)

Original poster

Megglevache · 27/02/2007 12:40

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charlieq · 27/02/2007 12:49

meggle I know just what you mean...

there was a previous thread I started about my own 3.7 yo who cannot spend a minute alone & prefers to spend his time velcro'd to your leg. (He also drives his nanny bonkers.)

He follows his adult companion(s) from room to room constantly, asking questions. If you open a cupboard, he is right there next to you wanting to know what you are picking up and demanding an explanation!! Maddeningly he will also not play by himself, even if in the same room as you, is murder to get him to draw, model playdough etc. His toys might as well be in the charity shop. He just constantly demands your attention and conversation and will play up if he doesn't get it.

On that thread a lot of people concluded this is just a personality type, a bright mega-extrovert sort of thing, but that doesn't make it much easier to live with. Recently dh decided to get harsh and tell him to go and play in his room on his own for 30 minutes. He came down the stairs every 1/2 minutes saying 'I've done it!' It will be a long road I think to change this one.

Like you I have a dc2 imminent so I think that my patience is going to snap even more often with my little emperor...

mamma2kids · 27/02/2007 12:49

DS also the same and fraid it did get worse when DD was born (but DS was only 20mnths then so understandable). He wouldn't even play at toddlers so I would have to leave baby with someone while I played with him (when what I really wanted was to cuddle baby while he played). Its much better now as they sometimes play together (3 and nearly 2). I find that DS will play alone but it usually involves much mess (playing with saucepans, spoons and dry pasta)or lots of chaos ( favorite is watching power rangers dvd while reinacting it by jumping on sofa, between sofas, cushions all over the floor shouting " youre going down baldie") but hey as long as he's happy!

Troutpout · 27/02/2007 12:54

God callmemadam...i so hope you are right.You have my complete sympathy Meggle...dd drives me to distraction (she's just 4) and is sooooooo high maintenance. She doesn't particularly like toys...and never plays on her own unless she does a bit of drawing, writing or colouring. She just trails around after me all day. She's bored silly at toddler groups...but is now fine at playgroup ( now that other children will interact rather than just play alongside iykwim).
She's fine if ds is not at school ..as they play with each other wonderfully.
Ds was a different story all together...would happily play with toys all day...and i would almost be hovering trying to get in on the act.
I have tried the badger her for attention tactic as well...didn't work...she never can get enough.
The only time i can really get stuff done is when she is at playgroup...and i guess i am mindful that she will be at school come september so i try and make the most of the full on-ness of her now
Utterly Exhausting though!...my friend had her for one afternoon and said she found her hard work

bran · 27/02/2007 13:05

You have my sympathy, ds is 2.8 and doesn't like to be on his own. He goes to nursery happily so he's not bothered about being separated from us, he just needs to interact with someone all the time. He particularly hates me cooking because I turn my back on him to do it. I'm hoping he'll grow out of it.

We've been thinking about adopting another child and I wonder if it might make things easier as ds is very good with smaller children so they might be able to amuse each other for short periods of time. Of course it might be worse, as at the moment if the kids at nursery come over to talk when I'm picking ds up he will often say 'No, my mummy, go away'.

loopylou6 · 27/02/2007 13:33

my dd is exactly the same, even when im sitting on the toilet shes trying to claw her way up onto my knee lol, when im doing housework she hangs off the back of my clothes grrrr, but credit where its due, for the past couple of days she has been playing upstairs in her room for long periods of time, of course this doesnt make me feel any more relaxed, quite the opposite in fact coz im constantly up an down the stairs checking on her lol, but fingers crossed she has suddenly and magically turned a corner

Callmemadam · 27/02/2007 19:24

Troutpout - it really is a phase - in a few years they won't want you to join in anything they get up to

franca70 · 27/02/2007 19:36

ds was a bit like that. now, at 4 and a half he is much mnore independent. he can play in his room for more than an hour by himslef, which is bliss. and he used to be the sort of little boy we couldn't leave alone for a sec, not even when he was watching tv. he hasn't stopped asking questions though, he talks and talks and talks... which is good .
Have to say though that he was very high maintenance, but wasn't particularly clingy to me or dh, he'd happily swapped us for a grandmother/friend/uncle, whoever had the will or energy to engage with him for hours on end.

Abwab · 27/02/2007 20:44

my Ds is 2.5 and exactly the same, I have posted on here many times at my wits end. He goes to nursery 2 days a week and loves it but it has only just beein the the last few weeks that he has been happy to go off and play at toddler groups or at friends houses without wanting me to play with him.

I used to be green with envy as my frinds little ones played quite happily but i guess that is just the way he is - doesn't help much when you are tearing your hair out though does it.

I try and focus on the things he does that i love and i do think that by relaxing about it all it does get better.

Original poster

Megglevache · 28/02/2007 18:26

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franca70 · 28/02/2007 19:34

oh but that's quite typical isn't it. when ds was a baby and sleeping very little, my mum would say that I was sleeping 12 hrs in a row at 3 weeks... bless her!

franca70 · 28/02/2007 19:36

[I meant making comparisons...]

bran · 28/02/2007 19:45

I think our parents can have very selective memories about the type of parents they were and the type of children we were. The last time my parents visited my dad remarked on how much the sitting room had been taken over by toys and said that my db and I didn't have as many, but I remember having loads of toys and spreading them all over the sitting room floor.

wanderingstar · 01/03/2007 09:08

Yes I've one of those too...just turned 3. Will go to playgroup quite happily etc., but at home he's stuck like glue to me the whole time, unless one of his siblings is playing with him for a bit. My older 3 weren't really like this so it's a new experience for me.