Will not give up his nappies at 3.7. Am I still going to be wiping his bum at 18?! Help.

[lockie1983]

DS is bright, articulate and fully capable of understanding using the potty, toilets, where his wee and poo comes from and when it is coming.

He WILL NOT use a potty or toilet. Screams the place down if I suggest it. He doesn't care about reward charts it stickers. We've read books and he's picked pants (which he won't wear).

I've tried not mentioning it for a few weeks at a time and still nothing.

I was fairly chilled about it but now everyone is commenting on how old he's getting to be in pull-ups. He's the only one in preschool not using the potty or toilet in some form.

I figured that after Christmas he'd probably just start wanting to go but as the weeks go on nothing changes.

He doesn't like the potty but can't articulate why.

If anyone says "oh but big boys wear pants/go on the potty" etc he just smiles and says "that's not right. I'm a big boy and I don't use the potty"

Anyone have a (very) late potty trainer? Please tell me it's more common that everyone makes out!

SockswithSandals thank christ. I was beginning to think I was alone on this.

Definitely not alone likeacrow !
I struggle with the concept of leaving it pretty much up to the child, at what point does it become enough is enough? I certainly don't think it's appropriate for teachers/schools to be expected to toilet train children. It seems astonishing that suddenly DCs are capable once the parent has put their foot down 😳

Different approaches work for different children. If it means taking a week off work, so that nursery don't have to deal with the wet floors, and your dc doesn't get teased by peers, then that's what needs to be done.

Good childcare will support parents, but we prefer not to do the whole job ourselves.

SockswithSandals thanks to such attitude from some of the nursery staff, my son ended up in hospital. He can count and many other things. The brain areas responsible for that and bowel movement control are completely independent. That's why I said that people involved in children care and education need to know more about child development.

mjas your son ended up in hospital because childcare professionals believe toilet training should be carried out primarily by parents and before the age of 4...? What is it specifically you'd like us to know about child development? On top of the teaching qualification and ongoing cpd that is.

Sympathy OP. DS will be 4 in June, so a little younger, but until recently it was very difficult. And he is still a reluctant poo-er.
However, these things helped us:

• a box of lego in the bathroom. Every successful toilet or potty trip earned him a piece of lego from the box. He could choose and it was instant gratification. We prefered it to rewarding with food.
• setting an alarm on a phone as a toilet reminder so he didn't feel it was us specifically sending him to the loo
• leaving one toilet in the house permanently set up for him with toddler loo seat and step, light on, etc. Turns out he likes privacy and now takes himself, shuts the door and goes to the loo. (The lock is well out of reach!)

It WILL happen.

I'm in the same boat. My DS is 3.7 and will not use the potty or s toilet. He has done a total of 3 wees on the potty and one poo. That was about 2 months ago!
He got the praise, treats, everything when he used it but to no avail.
He loves taking off his clothes, but leave the nappy off for longer than it takes to change it, and world war 3 breaks out!
No advice, but you are not alone!! Xx

My little boy was potty trained at home, as in if he was naked bottom half he would take himself to the loo all day quite happily from about 2.5. But he refused to go out anywhere unless he had a nappy on. So I knew he could do it & it was frustrating. Then one day he really wanted a paw patrol toy & (no idea why I said it!) but I said "I can't buy you that until you wear your big boy pants & trousers & have no day time nappies anymore" then didn't mention it again. The next week he REALLY wanted the toy & id reminded him of what I said so we took off the nappy & put pants on & he managed that day brilliantly, next day we went down to buy the £15 toy that he hasn't played with since but worked to get him out of nappies basically can you up the bribe

I meant to add to that it was when he was about 3.2 I did that & we gave all of his nappies to my friend who has a younger child so he knew they were gone

Hi all I just wanted to come back and thank all of you for your experiences and advice and leave an update ...

We tried the potty for a day and then DS went down with an awful tummy bug which set us back. Meanwhile I explained that the shops didn't make nappies for 4 year olds so he would have to change to pants by his birthday. I just mentioned this casually whenever he mentioned his birthday (a lot at the moment for some reason!)

We also moved all bum changes to the toilet. When he moaned I would just matter of factly tell him that it was how we did it now he was a big boy and might it be easier for him to use the potty?

He also has found a book he really really wants. I was skint so I just said that I would save up and buy it for him once he changed from nappies to pants.

We've had a bit more naked time, which he has found funny.

So cue to one morning last week when he woke up, took off trousers, pull-ups and put on pants and new trousers before I'd even gone in to say good morning. He had 1 accident all day and took himself off for the potty and a poo all day.

Next day was nursery, he went off happily to the toilet as and when he wanted to all day. Was in pants.

We've been doing it for a few days now and have had 3 accidents in total. He loves using the potty and takes himself off - he even has told me to stop reminding him, he will use it when he needs to!

I literally have done nothing to press this. It's like a switch has just turned in his mind. Very very early days, but I thought I would let you all know!

Lovely update, fingers crossed for you both

:D well done to all :)