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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Harness and reins

26 replies

Carollocking · 17/01/2017 05:25

Intrested to know of others of you still use these items and if use daily or just under certain circumstances.

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DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 17/01/2017 05:53

Yes I always did,I had a bolter.

Mol1628 · 17/01/2017 05:57

Yes I do near busy roads and whilst trying to manage two small children.

Mol1628 · 17/01/2017 05:57

Oh and in places like shopping centres.

greenfolder · 17/01/2017 05:59

I did with my eldest 2 for that breif but critical point where they are like unguided missiles. Never needed with smallest one as she was more compliant and had more eyes on her.

Shootingstar2289 · 17/01/2017 15:35

My son was always a bolter (still is at five) so I used them a lot. I used to live very close to a town centre and would certainly need them to go out the door and in busy places. I would often take them off when in quieter areas. Nothing wrong with using reins for peace of mind. We used them until about age three-four. We still very occasionally use a wrist strap for him as he has Autism and he is a bit of a runner at times! 😀

NickyEds · 17/01/2017 16:35

Ds just turned 3 and we still use his backpack with reins all of the time.

Ilovecaindingle · 17/01/2017 16:40

My ds loves his as he knows he has more freedom than holding a hand!!

Disraeli · 17/01/2017 16:45

Always with my oldest. Not for the last few months - he's now 4. The last time I used anything (backpack with lead attached) was because we were going somewhere crowded.

I plan to use them with my youngest as well when they can walk.

CloserToFine · 17/01/2017 16:59

Never. I never had what you would call a "bolter," although my kids certainly required close supervision and I had to run after them many times. We do live in a big city but I usually just use a backpack to carry my own stuff and use one hand for each child, holding tight when necessary. That's worked well enough for us. I totally understand that some kids might need a little extra security but I think it's odd to use reins as a matter of course before you even get a sense of your child/ren and how they behave in different situations. If my child did need reins for safety I would try to limit it to situations where it was really necessary. Otherwise I think it's too easy to just not pay attention to them or teach them how to stay with you.

minipie · 17/01/2017 17:03

Yes occasionally. Godsend for the airport or other busy places. DD is nearly 2, doesn't really like the buggy but also doesn't like holding hands (and my back aches from stooping). Reins are a good compromise. In fact this thread has reminded me to dig ours out again!

I don't think I used them after about 2.5-3 with DD1 but she was in a buggy much more.

HiDBandSIL · 17/01/2017 17:12

I did when I had a baby and a 2 year old. It was that or never leave the house!

KW89 · 17/01/2017 21:52

Didn't ever have to with DS1 (now three years old) as he was always happy to hold my hand if near roads etc..
DS2 (17 months) however will not hold my hand, so he is on reins whenever we are near roads or if I'm on my own somewhere busy with the two of them, anywhere that I feel he'd be unsafe without them, as if he runs ahead it's hit or miss if he listens to me telling him to wait! Shopping I always put him in buggy or trolley or he'd be climbing the shelves 😂

badg3r · 17/01/2017 22:24

Only for a short spell till DS started playing bungee jumping on them and I felt like my arm was going to come out of its socket..

Original poster

Carollocking · 18/01/2017 06:28

I used on all mine and still have to with my youngest she's not a toddler though but she has behaviour issues etc and it's only way I can manage her safely.
I have 3 girls each 2 years apart pretty much and as another mentioned it is the only way I could manage 2 or 3 of them out together.
I have a farm and they are also a godsend on the farm too as they grew up to keep away from danger,even though it often felt like treating like a dog at times having them on harnesses to keep them safe they are all arms and legs intact and uninjured from been on them.farms are very dangerous places.
I asked the question originally really just to see if plenty of others still use them as with my daughter that's still in them I had recently to get new ones made with her been to big for off the shelf ones and I tried out some made for older but got loads of looks of disapproval so I had a set made by my local saddler which really has changed immensely people Looking at us.
So it really shows appearances make a massive difference on how people judge them.
I realise with her been older it was why people look but just changing to something that is obviously more unique and individual made has changed everything for her and the way in how I'm judged and looked upon.
I realise others out there with special needs children may find it helpful but that part of this site is very low traffic so my reason posting here.
So if you are in same situation as me and need use for any older child I fully suggest having made up as others reactions will totally change towards you as it has with me

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minipie · 18/01/2017 09:53

So you're saying people are less judgemental now you're using bespoke reins rather than off the shelf? I wonder why - is it because the bespoke reins make them realise she must have SN?

Original poster

Carollocking · 18/01/2017 10:25

Yes I think that's exactly it they see them and it's obvious that no one would have had made if no reason. Admittedly they weren't cheap but I had made to my own designs and they look very smart and fully efficient and I had made in black leather as she likes black and lots her tops are black do blend in easier anyway but I didn't cut in the costs I had made nice and smart looking so deffinately a massive change in how people react snd look and judge,I've had people comment that they are very nice smart rather than say she's like a dog etc which I have had in the past

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Original poster

Carollocking · 18/01/2017 10:29

The off the shelf kind items in my opinion for an older child are too much a version of younger ones so they don't help they use bright colours often or use other things that make look too much for a young child.

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SparklyFuckingBusinessFairy · 18/01/2017 10:32

I just bought a trunki one for DD as she's 15 months and hates holding your hand. We live in Central London and I'm simply not prepared to risk those roads!

Original poster

Carollocking · 18/01/2017 10:37

I know for a fact without them I'd be crazy by now lol.they have
Saved so many accidents and close calls over the life of my daughters and just knowing that i have kept them fully safe as best I can beats any bad remarks I've had

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minipie · 18/01/2017 10:42

Goodness yes. Who cares about a few remarks (rude buggers anyway!) The important thing is what's best for the child, much better to use reins than be at home or in the car all day.

Original poster

Carollocking · 18/01/2017 10:50

Exactly,and I homeschool my youngest as she had too much problems at school when we tried so with having her 24/7 I have to be able manage her along with my business and all normal daily chores etc so they really are a godsend to me as they are used all the time which also overcomes the problems some find when they only use now and again for certain trips etc
And fully agree with you about them been rude, for me I've a thick skin but I don't want rude comments making my daughter feel bad either

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MiaowTheCat · 18/01/2017 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HiDBandSIL · 18/01/2017 17:18

YY to the regional variations.

I took them to the US with me last summer and someone (American) made a horrible snide remark about them literally as we were walking out of the airport. Being the sensitive soul that I am I put them away and did without them for the rest of the trip. Luckily wasn't too hard because I had DH there too.

roseteapot101 · 18/01/2017 17:57

i used a goldbug harness till my daughter was 5.I only used it when she was 5 in a very crowded place like the tube central london were i could get distracted.I stopped using it for day to day at 4 as my daughter had learnt to keep close and hold my hand.

Original poster

Carollocking · 18/01/2017 19:17

I've seen a few posts in the past about comments from people in USA seems they are more against them there or maybe it's just certain places.
I'll be truthful it's not a place I'm interested to go again too.

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