Spiteful daughter

[amz123]

Hi everyone

I need advice I have a 6 year old daughter and my partner has a 6 year old daughter. Both completely different. His laughter is quite, timid and very well behaved. My daughter is very out going ,big character, not the best at listening.
My daughter is very spiteful to his for example she will say silly things to his daughter by telling her to stop doing something even tho what she is doing isn't bad. My daughter will look at her with daggers and just generally isn't very nice and very bossy.

I actually dread my partners daughter coming for the weekend. I never let my daughter get away with the things she does she is always told off for it.

But she is just a pain to have when his partner is here. I can't take it anymore. She is so naughty that it's frustrating and makes me so upset. To the point I don't want to be around her.

Any advice.

I think she's jealous about having to share you with another child.

You're probably going out of your way to be nice to the other child because she isn't yours. Then add in that she's a timid well-behaved child and your DD is a bit more 'spirited' so bound to get in trouble/be told off more than the other child. She probably hates the weekends when the DSD comes.

Does she get the other weekend with you? Or is she at her Dad's on that weekend?

I would try and give her some quality time with you. The other child would probably like some quality time with her Dad too so could be a win all round. Could you take her for a movie and hot chocolate on Saturday morning? Just the two of you, while the DP takes his DD out for a treat. That sort of thing.

Maybe look up 'Love Bombing' or 'time in' as methods to deal with her behaviour to break the cycle of bad behaviour-punishment-bad behaviour-more punishment etc.

She's a 6 year old little girl trying to figure out where she fits into the world. She deserves every bit of patience you can muster. You chose the situation you find yourself in. She did not. Tread carefully OP.

Thank you, both!
These are things I think about and I will be try new things with her.
She is a diamond for me most of the time. Can be loving helpful and a pleasure.
I must make it essential to have more quality time.
Thank you.

Have you tried discussing it with her? Or one tactic you could try is to praise her for adjusting so well/being so kind/playing with her new s sister even though it's so new for her/difficult (pick out something she did well). This may be more motivating that telling her off which gives attention for poor behaviour.