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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

what do you do when your 2 year old throws a tantrum?

13 replies

misschaos · 20/02/2007 20:00

Any tips would help - DS is throwing regular 'wobblys' at meal times, bed times and any time he doesn't get his own way. He's just turned 2 and has a new baby sister thrown in for good measure. Mum about to lose the plot.... please help!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NotQuiteCockney · 20/02/2007 20:01

I try to stay calm.

I try to get him to use his words, to say what's wrong.

I do sometimes lose the plot and say he has to apologise or whatever, and if he doesn't, he goes in his bed.

Tortington · 20/02/2007 20:02

ignore
walk into another room
turn the telly /music up louder

hum your own tune and wash the pots.

etc..etc..

no point in doing it really if no one rightly gives a shit

ScottishThistle · 20/02/2007 20:04

Ignore...a tantrum is for attention & if they don't get it they soon give up!

colditz · 20/02/2007 20:05

Upon beginning the wobbly, remove child to safe (floor) location, and remove yourself.

whining and screaming - treat with a sing-song "I coan't hear that voice, use your nice voice"

Coolmama · 20/02/2007 20:05

ignore, ignore, ignore - once DS realised he is not getting any attention, he may well bring it down. Works a charm in our house. However you decide to handle this, make sure both you and the babysitter do the same thing - consistency is the one thing that children really benefit by.

bananaloaf · 20/02/2007 20:05

if i can stay in control i ignore it or put him in the hall were i can see him through glass doors. try and change the focus of the tantrum ie something interesting out of the window, but like notquite i also do loss control and its up to bed. having same prob as ds1 has changed swimming classes and his having tantrums at the poolside. i find it very difficult to maintain control as i think all the other mothers are looking at me and watching how i am coping with it!

Mercy · 20/02/2007 20:09

Ok, what I used to do was physically remove dd from any situation where she might have hurt herself (she once ran into a thorny rose bush to have a tantrum!).

Then ignore until it's over basically. dd wuld then come to me for a cuddle and we would 'talk' about it.

But then dd's tantrums only lasted 20/30 and she was quite small so I could still pick her up.

Good luck - you'll get used to it (unfortunately)

CountTo10 · 20/02/2007 20:13

I found the beginning of this stage really hard and have to confess that I did do battle a couple of times and believe me it just makes the situation 100 times worth and leaves you feeling like shit!!!! So...what I do now is as the others have said is totally ignore and even leave the room. My ds has this thing where he takes in a huge breath and then shouts with every effort in his body what he wants and I don't give him eye contact or anything and merely carry on with what I'm doing. When he calms down I talk to him about if you need something you ask sensibly and when you shout and carry on like that I will not respond etc which probably sounds mad as he is only 2 but I find he is a bit responsive. The thing with tantrums is they are a classic way of getting attention (especially if there is a little bit of competition now!!) and he needs to work out that behaving like that is not going to get him the attention he wants, so that he learns another way.

meowmix · 20/02/2007 20:15

make sure he can't hurt himself and ignore. When DS did this to me in the supermarket I'd just put him in the trolley seat and sit on the floor completely silent till he stopped, speaking in a very happy tone of voice to the old dears who stopped "please don't speak to DS he's not in a nice mood at the moment'. Only had to do that twice before he got the message

Mercy · 20/02/2007 20:20

I think also you have to remind yourself that it's more to do with frustration and pushing boundaries than attention seeking behaviour - and is a completely normal part of a child's development.

NotQuiteCockney · 20/02/2007 20:22

Hmmm, I used ignoring with great success with DS1, but DS2 can tantrum for hours. I tend not to give in per se - I try to get him to tell me what he wants, or what he's upset about, and then, if he can ask calmly and talk calmly, we try to sort it out.

Once he gets into a full-blown tantrum, of course, giving him what he wanted won't work anyway, as he is too worked up .

I do try to hug him if possible if he's not being violent.

angie17 · 21/02/2007 13:26

My ds is 2.5. When he first started having tantrums I must admit I reacted by shouting at him. I soon learned that this just made matters worse but tbh if I am having a bad day I still find myself losing it with him but i know from experience that staying calm and ignoring him for how ever long does work. I often have a problem getting him dressed on a morning and on Monday we were going through the usual problem. I could feel myself getting wound up so I told him in a calm voice that if he didn't put his clothes on I would take his (much loved) blanket off him until he did. I took the blanket and left him screaming but after 10 mins or so he went quiet and when I checked on him he was trying to put his vest on! I was so chuffed with him and myself. We had a little chat about it and I said it was much better when mummy doesn't shout and he agreed. I don't for one minute think that he will never have another tantrum but hopefully I am learning to keep calm and ignore him and by doing it the end result is the same ie he has done what I asked but without resorting to chaos

oliveoil · 21/02/2007 13:28

run away, fast

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